I Don't Live In the Cool World.

Ever since I was about 8 years old, back in primary school, I had no friends. I have had no friends until my second year in high school. I was too smart, too shy, too much into reading books, too absent because of my overactive fantasy world. Too much of a tomboy. When others spent their time playing stupid jokes on one another, I would be reading or something. Or climbing a tree. When my classmates got lame results for the test you have to take at the end of primary school, I got the highest result and went to grammar school. I was a nerd, I admit it. For a long time I have believed that it was actually wrong to be the way I am, that people teased and neglected me and hid my things because I was a wrong person. I never had the guts to be the one to start a conversation with a stranger. I still feel uncomfortable around strangers.

Today, I am still that eight year old curled up on the couch with a book she shouldn't be reading at that age, knowing and understanding things she shouldn't know or understand at that age, lost in her own world, and still a tomboy. I am accepted now. I am even loved for it now. Uncool, crazy me. The awesome people in my life still amaze me at times.

JojaRodenaLente JojaRodenaLente
18-21, F
3 Responses Mar 12, 2009

Take comfort from the fact that u didn't change to fit in and are now accepted by people who r genuine. Think about all those other people who were superficially friendly with everyone but probably don't who is who.

What a great story! So glad that now you are happy being you!

I understand everything you are saying. I feel exactly the same way. Most of the time Im around people its like an out of body experience. I'll just sit there looking at them talk. I would want to say something but I just can't. It can be real depressing. Over all I am a real goofy person (most people say, "your so stupid."and then they chuckle)which is basically your korny to most people. I'm just glad that you have friends that appreciate who you are. The way I see it your better off making a few friends or one rather than trying to be liked by everyone. They will just forget about you anyways. I'm happy that you joined this site; I was beginning to think I was the only one like this in the whole world! Talk to you later... :)