Family Secrets Can Destroy Lives

When I was a little girl growing up I never felt like I belonged.My dad worked long hours at a steel mill and my mom just seemed to do her own thing.Most of the time,I felt like I was a bother to her.Neither one of my parents were ones to show affection and I don't remember them saying I love you much.I never felt close to my cousins nor my aunts and uncles.I spent most of my time with my grandma because that is the only place I felt like I belonged and felt loved.She also lived next door to us.I could always sense that something wasn't right and I sometimes felt like something was wrong with me.Unless I was with my grandma,I really felt alone most of the time.As I got a little older,I often wondered why I didn't look at all like my mother and why I didn't have any sisters or brothers.All of my cousins had brothers and sisters and they never seemed to be lonely.

Sometimes we would be in town shopping and we would come across a lady with a little boy about my age and my mom and dad would get my hand and take off the other way as fast as they could.I knew that she was related to my fathers side of the family but she had been disowned by all of them.Back then,if you did certain things that was not thought proper,it wasn't uncommon for that to happen.

My mom left my dad when I was ten years old and we didn't know where she was for a very long time.During this time,my dad went a little crazy and I stayed with my grandma even more than before.Anway,one day after my parents seperated,this same lady that we would see sometimes in town came to our house with the little boy.I was outside playing with a friend and I saw her go into my house.I heard her and my dad arguing and then she came outside.She came over to me and in a hurry told me that my parents who I thought were my parents,were not and that she was my real mother.Of course I didn't believe her and by then my dad came out of the house and chased her off.He was too late!

Needless to say,I was devastated and couldn't understand what was happening.I also understood why I always felt like I had.I guess that's where my anger began which would affect me for many years to come.

Come to find out,when I was one year old,I was taken from her because she left me alone.I was given to a family member who was her brother and his wife.Apparantly they had wanted me from the time I was born.The boy that was always with her was my brother and he was also left alone and taken away.He was give to another family member but she was able to get him back.She was never able to get me back,thank God!I guess back then,family members got first rights.

It took me many years to accept this and to work through it.I think one of the things that hurt the most is that everyone knew about it but me.

When I first wrote this story on here,I had the title....I Was Betrayed By My Family.After I went back and read it,I didn't like that title,it didn't seem right.

After all,this all happened many years ago and it's all water under the bridge now.I worked through it many years ago and I know that it was all for the best and nobody was meant to get hurt.

ayankee ayankee
46-50, F
6 Responses Sep 7, 2009

eyeknownothing...thanks for commenting!<br />
I was only ten years old at the time so it was very hard for me and very painful.It took a long time to work through it as there was so much more to it.<br />
Over the years I have sometimes wished that I never knew and other times I feel like I should have been told the truth all along.<br />
Now today..I guess it really doesn't matter as I never wanted to know my real mom because of circumstances I can't talk about right now and the mom I knew is gone now!

I hate when I'm the last to know. Family should be honest with each other. It's got to be great to finally know the truth.

Thank you dear but it was all a very long time ago!<br />
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It was a very complicated story and worse was living it,lol.<br />
<br />
I worked through it and dealt with the pain many years ago also.<br />
<br />
Again,thank you for your kindness.

...thats a complicated story...knowing the truth can hurt...but ill be here if u need to talk...^^...

Your welcome.Lol,at one time I thought it was better not knowing and now it doesn't really matter.I never had any desire to know my birth mother and to me,my aunt and uncle remained my mother and father.

that´s quite a story. at lest you got to know the truth, I imagine it would have been worse to go through life with that feeling of something being wrong but not knowing why.<br />
thanks for sharing this:)