My Mom's Hated Me Most of My Life

Today I'm 42years old (43 next month) My mom gave me away when i was 7yrs old, before i left i was an abused child, physically, mentally, physically, sexually, i went into the system all my childhood and adolescence as still an abused child in some form, moved out of my last abusive home at 18 1/2 by age 20 i managed to get ahold of my mom hoping to re-connect with her, when i arrived at her place in Toronto she did one thing with me, she made me spend my $$ to shop for groceries on my stay there (which was about 2 weeks) So what $ i had to visit was gone, and went home almost broke, with no bonding time with my mom, after that it wasn't for lack of trying i wanted to know her hoping that would help complete my life alittle more since not much seemed to unfold properly, the next time i had a visit with her she came over with a 12-pack of booze :  which she drank alone because i don't drink, we had one more visit she was at the house long enough to take a few pups from us and that was 7years ago, she's made it a point to stay out of reach and out of touch, I've held on to long as it is i guess so I've pretty much decided to give up on her almost 37years of rejections from my own blood is way to much aggravation and grief.. :(

embrissa embrissa
41-45, F
1 Response Mar 8, 2008

No matter how long I live I will never understand why or how some women who can physically bear children are completely void of any maternal feelings whatsoever. I liken these women to the equivalent of male ***** donors. My mother was simply the vehicle I arrived in to get to this's a hollow empty feeling, makes me sad, but I no longer deny it or fight it or try to change it! I just make sure not to repeat it!

Mine as well!!!