Unhealthy Relationship With My Mom

I never bonded with my Mother.  My early experiences with her are filled with memories of criticism.  I was told that I was "weird", "from outerspace" and "in my own little world".  I was the middle child and did not experience the same mother that my siblings did.  For some reason I stood out as being hard to deal with.  It all came to a head when I became pregnant just after I graduated high school.  The hostility I felt from her exceeded anything before.
Skyler Skyler
46-50, F
1 Response Jul 8, 2007

Sounds like you were her scapegoat. She most likely was unhappy with her life. Whatever she found unacceptable about herself she projected onto you. When parents do this, it's either to get attention for themselves or distract others away from their shortcomings by putting blame on another. <br />
My mother made me her scapegoat. That's not to say I was perfect. I know I had my faults. However, I did not deserve to be called cruel names or being made to feel as if I were bad or crazy. She managed to convince others that I was the bad one and blamed me for nearly everything. <br />
I really do sympathize with you. I hope you can overcome your mother's hurtful barbs and negativity. I distanced myself from my mother for years. She has said at times she regrets many things but I wonder if it's really true. I visit about twice a year. We seem to get along but I often feel edgy around her.<br />
Maybe you should distance yourself from your mother. See how she acts afterward. Maybe she'll have a change of heart. For your sake, I hope so. Maybe she'll give you a reason for her past behavior.<br />
Hope you can salvage relationship. If you feel it necessary to let go, explain why. It'll be sad but it might be healing to you. Good luck!