Dear Vincent

I just found out that you are gone.

They found your body in a slumped position over your desk in your hotel room. They believe that you were there for 3 days before they found your body. You wore your favourite Metallica shirt and you looked peaceful, no signs of injury or self inflicted wounds.

I know you hated all the traveling, all the hotel rooms, all the loneliness.

I am sorry I was not there.

I am sorry that you passed onto the next life alone.

And I am sorry that you ever felt that much pain, that unbearable pain that left you the only option but to end your life. Sadly, I know that pain, it is overwhelming, mind numbing loneliness that eats at your soul and your heart. I never wanted you to ever experience that, yet I did not know how to help, especially from so far away. I could hear the pain in your voice each time we talked. Yet I was helpless.

I am sorry I failed you as a friend and I am sorry I never got to say good bye.

I will remember, no, I will cherish our friendship.........forever.

I will think of your smile that could warm a room, and your kindness and laughter....I loved your laugh, deep and guttural. It was infectious!

Please know I love you.

I hope that you have found peace and that you will get to experience love as you so longed for. I know your next life will be incredible as this past life was very difficult, and well babe, you deserve a good life!

Your soul will guide you and I hope keep just the tiniest bit of me in you as you will always be a part of my soul, in my heart.

I love you and I miss you!

 

Good bye, with love, My Dearest Friend

XOXO                                                                                                                                                                                                        

wickedties wickedties
41-45, F
11 Responses Mar 14, 2010

InviMan, I am touched by your kind words....It is hard to believe he is gone. And well, this letter allowed me the opportunity ot say goodbye. I miss him everyday. He was a wonderful man.<br />
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DogAZ007, I am sorry to have made you cry.....*smiles*.....but thank you, for your kindness.

What a tragic loss. Wasteful. Made me cry when I read your tribute. My sincerest condolences.

Beaverman, THANK YOU! And yes, a 711 sandwich and a drink would be lovely as there has been many memories shared over those two things before......we would have many more to share when we see each other again!<br />
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Funkadelic, you are a lovely man, thank you for saying that, however, I do not feel very inspirational.<br />
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Cabman49, Thank you for your kindness, it gives me comfort.<br />
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Softkitti, thank you for the hug my darling, you are always there for me....thank you.

I am sorry darling , truly I am *hugs wicked tightly*

A beautiful & moving tribute,you are an inspiration to us all

I am so sorry to hear... I really don't know what to say... It is the hardest way to lose someone... when they have lost hope.... and yet to also have known the feeling of hoplessness... <br />
I want to thank you for being there - for talking me through and being a friend who really cared, and helped me to find hope when I didn't think there was any...... remember? No you haven't failed.. you do your best in the circumstance and in the end that is what counts.. I know of at least one sucess and his heart is crying out for you right know

Risenphoenix, thank you, it is lovely. I have always liked the written word of the bible...thank you for sharing.

Here is a special prayer for you.<br />
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Almighty and most merciful God, the Consolation of the sorrowful, and the Support of the weary, who dost not willingly grieve or afflict the children of men; Look down in tender love and pity, I beseech thee, upon thy bereaved servant, whose joy is turned to mourning; So that, while she mourns, she may not murmur or faint under thy chastening hand; but, remembering all thy mercies, thy promises, and thy love in Christ, may resign herself meekly into thy hands, to be taught and comforted by thee, who bringest life out of death, and who canst turn her grief into eternal joy; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen

Wow! First, I must say, I did not expect anyone to comment on my story. It was just a way to say good bye to my friend. And honestly, I am overwhelmed by all your comments and concern, thank you to all of you!<br />
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Risenphoenix, you are indeed an incredible friend and I respect you dearly, thank you!<br />
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Uglybuzzard47, I have only begun to know you, but I can honestly say that my friend would have liked you a lot, you are his 'kind' of people and well, mine too. Thank you for your words and perhaps in time I will be able to believe that I have not failed him.... <br />
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Emrldpeeps, I do hope you are right.....the thought of him being alone and passing into the next life is overwhelmingly painful......I want to believe that someone was there, I need to believe that.<br />
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Fungirlmmm, you make me smile Sweetheart, thank you!<br />
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CPAguy, thank you for your very kind words. You are very sweet. *smiles*<br />
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Michelle56, yes, I will, infact I have been doing that all day. I remember one night him and his girlfriend came over and hung out at our home. We sat up all night drinking and talking, listening to music. Suddenly, at 8am Vincent announced that he needed a hoagie from the 7/11 store. Needless to say, he got dressed for the walk (put on a fishnet body suit with nothing else on but his boots). We all just laughed and did not really think he would go out like that, but he did!! Our 10 block walk to and from gave the morning commuters some interesting water cooler talk. He was a great man who was not shy about anything.

I am so sorry for your loss Wicked. I wish I could take the pain you are feeling away but I do send you my condolences and I am here if you need an ear.

My heart and my sympathy goes out to you during this time of loss. I know there are no words that can make you feel better or take away the pain from your loss. But know that I stand with you as a friend to give you any support that I can.