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When My Mom

entered the hospital one state away from where I live. 

my sister told me  she would take me with her to see Mom then she stood me up. She never showed up at my house as promised. And didn't call me to tell me she had changed her mind about taking me with her to seeMOm. I cannot imagine a more cruel thing to do to someone, especially a sister. 

I had always imagined I  would be with my Mom at her death bed. My Mom was in a coma, sort of, but I still needed to be there to say goodbye to her and touch her one last time. My Dad held the phone up to her ear and I said goodbye to her that way. I sent a bunch of fragrant flowers to her room hoping she could somehow smell them in her last days of life.

I tried several means to travel there but none worked out. 

Ever since then I've been unable to trust my sister with any business whatsoever. I told my Dad how I feel. She has proven herself untrustworthy. And cruel.

RubyTewes RubyTewes 31-35, F 4 Responses May 10, 2009

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It is a shame We can't pick our own family, isn't it? Why does blood relation give some people a free license to treat us like crap and then, make us feel like We have to take it?

We can understand how difficult it must be for you, to seemingly lose both your mother and your sister.



No one but her, will ever know the real reason she left you behind. Our guess would be jealousy. Pray for her. It sounds like she has her own demons.

Thank you for the perspective on my Mom probably knowing I wanted to be there. She an I got along very well for the last 13+ years of her life. I am blessed to have known her and laughed with her many times.



My sis said she didn't want to spend 8 hours in a car with me. She also told me I was acting condescending towards her. I am not that kind of person. At that time, I was straining hard not to fall apart into tears whenever I talked to family on the phone. Maybe she misread my tone. I don't know.



At first I held the romantic notion that Mom's death would somehow bring my estranged siblings and I closer together. But it became appearant early on that my sis in particular would remain estranged.



I live and miss my Mom. Irationalized that since my sis hadn't takled with my Mom and Dad for 15 years that it was her time to spend time with Mom.



Still, sis told me should would help me find a way there to see Mom on her death bed, then failed to follow through. One would would expect a sibling to at least communicate if they change their plans. Oh well. I still work at forgiving her..

We wonder why your sister chose not to take you with her. Did you ever find out?



A death in the family tends to bring out many people's true colors. You hope that it brings everyone closer together but in many cases in tears them apart. We have seen both.



Take comfort in knowing that your mother loved you. She knows you wanted to be there.

You are so right: a death in the family brings out the true colors of others.