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Lonely

I'm 25 and never had a boyfriend. No real date. No first kiss.. no nothing. It gets lonely and frustrating. Especially when I see other people together. I can't handle being around my cousin because she has a boyfriend. I can't help but wonder when is it going to be my turn?

Stripped628 Stripped628 26-30, F 29 Responses Apr 21, 2010

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your time will come trust me, just try and meet guys through your friends, works every time

Sadly, I will be 34...never had a boyfriend and cannot even recall my last kiss. I am pretty, fit, funny, nice, outgoing, approachable. Everyone says so. Well there must be something wrong with me because I cannot even get a date. I wish I knew my problem so I could fix it. The loneliness and dissapointment is unbearable. Recently a guy whom I casually have been speaking to asked for my number. But guess what, he nevet called. That is just one among countless failed opportunities. I don't know what is wrong with me. My heart aches each ay but I smile and laugh so no one knows.

I understand exactly what you are talking about in regards to the hurt of yet another failed... encounter (I don't know what to call them).
I find that I filter guys out quickly and once I have found one I am interested in I like them quicker than the average female would (I guess) but things NEVER work out. It hurts! It's exhausting! It frustrates me that it bothers me so much. I know there is nothing wrong with me as a person but each time it happens it makes me question if there is something wrong with me.
Its so bad I can't even get to the awkward "so what are we" phase.
I'm much younger than you. I'm 22 but I understand the disappointment! You're not alone in that feeling.

I'm a be blunt, are you attractive? Are you fit, sexy and love your self?
And what specific qualities do you want in a man, what are your
standards or preferences? I hope I don't fit them because I'm so, so,
so not interested in you. So not interested. If you are a decent looking
woman and don't have too high standards, then it would be
easy for average to less than average looking dudes to approach you.

I'm 23, turning 24 this coming November, I have the same situation as you are, it's getting harder for me to look at happy couples. I have guy bestfriends, I am actually their confidante, but never their girl... I think for guys, I am just a bestfriend-material not fitting to be their girlfriend... I'm so much longing for a partner now. Most of the time I feel so lonely and alone. I pity myself for feeling this way. I feel like no one appreciates me as a woman, as a lady, as I am.

Even though I have strong sexual desires all of the time, I have learned to control them for long periods of time until just one day unexpectedly I lose it and have to find someone or reluctantly satisfy myself. I want this to end. I want to find a woman who needs a boyfriend or even just a male friend. From here we can both learn about one another which may lead to much more, but even if it doesn't then I would have at least gained a valued friend. I respect all women. I don't see to many men who do this, but I think all women are special and should be treated as such. Women are the mothers of every human-being, both male and female that walks upon the earth and I think this is enough reason that they all should be treated with both respect and special. If there is any woman here that wants to find her first boyfriend or just would like to have a good male friend that will respect her and treat her very special then contact me and let me know.

Same...that is about all I can say. If another person tells me "it'll happen when you least expect it" or "it'll happen when it happens" or "volunteer, do something you enjoy, go out with singles" or some other stupid platitude or advice I may just have to slap them. Seriously, do people think these sayings are helpful?

That definitely helped me cut off some steam. :D
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I feel you. I may be so much younger (teenager) but I definitely know where you're coming from. I have never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, flirted with, never even texted a guy other than him asking for my pretty friend's number. All my friends have had boyfriends, and I even have this one enemy who is (I swear) not pretty and has the worst attitude toward people. I used to be her friend, I was always friendly to her, but this year she's just been giving me attitude for no reason at all. No lie. But anyway, yesterday she gloated to our whole Creative Writing class that she went on a blind date and now he's her boyfriend. And that just makes me so mad, to know that someone like that can get a boyfriend but I can't. There was this one guy at my tennis league, that I kind of had a crush on. I told one of my tennis friends, and this so-called "friend" told him. Now he doesn't talk to me anymore and gets really quiet whenever I see him. I haven't talked to him in a while. Also, I have had the guts to confess to two crushes that I like them. Number one, we'll call him Fred, I asked to a school dance. He replied with "Maybe, I'll think about it" and never got back to me. Then he didn't even show up at the dance, and everyone told me it was because he didn't want to hurt my feelings. Nice guy. He doesn't talk to me anymore, we used to be really good friends. Guy number two, we'll call him John, I left an anonymous note in his locker this past Valentine's Day. I wrote him a poem and gave him a piece of chocolate. He found out that it was me by stalking everyone's handwriting, and mine matched the card (why didn't I type it?) and got my number from my friend, then texted me that he wasn't interested, sorry. That kind of thing just makes you depressed, you know? Just makes you feel like no one wants you. I feel like I'm going to grow up to be a lonely old cat lady. But don't worry. Pick up your head, princess. Your crown is falling. There's going to be a time for all of us. And pick your lovers carefully, no matter how desperate you are. Remember that you'd rather have a dollar than one hundred pennies. There will definitely be a guy that will love you for who you are and support you. You just haven't met him yet. :)

I totally understand. It really sucks when no one you like likes you back, Same goes with me, but all the guys I like have girlfriends. I sympathize entirely. -____-

I'll be 25 in may and I' m dealing with this same situation. My proplem is not that guys don't like me but that the guy I like don't notice me. And it doen't help that I am very shy. And when a guy does hit on me its always someone i would never be interested in and I will not settel for someone I'm not interested in. I rather grow old and alone.

you probably will grow old and alone with that attitude.
women don\'t know what\'s good for them, they don\'t know
how to think. you can\'t think like you do, it don\'t work and youknow it. Talk to the dudes that\'s hitting on you, ask him
why does he find you attractive, it\'s probably not what you
were expecting and that can add to your knowledge to step up your game.

Lots of people in your position around the world. Dont lose hope
Just take care of yourself and keep safe

I love this blog- society dictates what is "appropriate" age to have intimate relationship... rubbish !! I am 40 yrs old, have never had a boyfriend but dated a couple of times - have held hands and a goodnight kiss but nothing more intimate - I do not want to be a statistic , unmarried mother with oodles of children , divorced , cheated on ..... I am waiting for the right man for me , if he doesn't come into my life , well so be it . my saying is " I would rather be happily single , than unhappily married)

you probably have extremely high standards, most average
looking girls have extremely high standards. I don\'t feel that
you are happily single, I don\'t believe it. That waiting for the
right man for me is not doing you any good. maybe make a change or try something different in your mind, belief or your routine. a small change can make big things happen.

i would date you, i would love to have a girlfriend never had one before either. you seem so nice :)

trust me, you're not alone

My friend,<br />
I`m on the same boat. Despite my honest interest in people, tons of psychology books, trying various behaviors nothing worked for me enough.<br />
So I feel socially rejected, mentally decaying and can`t find any logic in that. Or my brain is playing cruel tricks on me.<br />
I literally feel you. Don`t give up!

me too, I'm 30 years old I'm from Egypt due to our customs and traditions it's not right to have a girfriend,,, but I have my own thinking and I need a girlfriend to share my life with her. . .

I was feeling very down today, and I am glad I came across this website. I will be turning 22 next week, and I have never been asked out before. Never been kissed, nothing. it gets very frustrating, and eventually can break down your confidence. I don't feel like there is anyone I can talk to because everyone I know has had a boyfriend before/ currently has one. My best friend has fallen in love with a guy, who clearly loves her too. He does everything for her, and she makes it a point to tell me every detail. I am happy she is happy. But it makes me feel inadequate. I keep thinking there has to be something wrong with me.<br />
Recently I learned that I should have confidence in myself, regardless of what happens. Unfortunately I learned it the hard way. A few months back, one of my friends from high school started hitting on me. And because my confidence was so low, I was prepared to do anything to get him to like me. In the end, I did things I am not very proud of, and of course, after he got what he wanted from me, I never heard from him again. He just stopped talking to me, stopped replying to my text messages. I was very hurt, and I still am hurt. But I have learned that I should look out for me first and foremost. I have to learn to love myself, and do what makes me happy. That is what confidence is about. I am positive the right guy will turn up soon. I am not an introvert. I am not shy, and I make friends easily. All I need is trust myself, and look out for me. Everything will work out eventually. Keep hoping, and keep believing in yourself. The right guy will show up soon :)

U need t get out n meet summ1 bump n t them n start tokn

I am almost 30 and have never had a boyfriend. I've had guy friends but never a lover. I always wonder when it is going to be my turn. And what's worst is that I've met a great guy who I'm pretty much in love with but the whole situation is beyond complicated.

thank god there's two of us in the world! I understand everything, I feel all that myself, but you see, lately I'm in the love = danger! mood, because really, once you fall in love you are simply distracted from the fact that love takes a lot of work and it involves fights and leaves a lot of scars even if it works in the end. So for now, let's just enjoy the fact that we are not distracted and we are not tied to anything. What I mean is love isn't everything and being alone is a great thing too so enjoy it while you can!

I am 22 and have never been in a relationship, either. I don't want what others have. Because once you do, that becomes your problem. You have to enjoy your life regardless. I wouldn't mind being around someone who was my "twin" emotionally/mentally/spiritually. But, I can't wait for that. I have to keep drifting until I find my own path and can fully accept it.

I am also 25 and never even had a guy even bl<x>ink at me so I understand how you feel. No kiss, no dates I have had nothing. Guys just don't find me attractive at all. I have given up on it and try not to think about it, but its hard when you see all these couples.

Well, for starters I would have to ask where do you usally meet people? Do you come into contact with a lot of different people? Is there opportunity to meet men where you work? Do you only date men who you think are the marrying kind? If we limit ourselves sometimes we can end up cutting ourselves off from what we truly want. I understand and commend women for having high standards for the men they date but sometimes you have to muddle through the "not so great" ones in order to get to the good ones. Do you believe in casual dating? Casual dating does not mean "casual sex" they are two different and distinct things. What's most important though is that you are exposed to many different kinds of men. Not just race but personalities and charcter. Do you know how to flirt? This is a very helpful tool in attracting men but only the men who can identify that you're flirting with them and the ones who can't you may want to pass on.

Hey; I'm 29 and I feel that way also, but I have been kissed before,but still never had a boyfriend! aia get very jealous when I see couples together, but I can't help being happy for them anyways. Don't worry; all you have to do is pray that GOD WILL send you that special guy in your life. GOD WILL give you anything you ask for if you just call upon His NAME.

never had girlfriend

I agree I mean I almost feel stupid and guilty for wanting what other couples have but its true I mean the majority of us want someone in our life.

Same situation here! I don't trust men, I don't trust relationship, I can get to be boring to some people because I can't stand them with their comments and all, I am full of fears, etc. Also I dont' make friends easily because I like being alone and I prefer having friends without boyfriends because let's face it they don't understand what it is when they are in love. I do feel very jealous when I see a healthy relationship around me. However I've come to believe that playing the victim is a lot worse, that humour is a great cure and recently while reading this stories posted here I feel a great relief because I can see that there's enough evidence that I'm not the only one at all. So let's move on with our lives, let's enjoy them because they are short and please let's don't compare ourselves to others. Good luck to you all, thanks for sharing, it helps!

Introspection you are right with the trust comment. I have a hard time trusting people. Although I am working on it. There are very few people in my life that I feel I can completely trust. I think it is also a fear of rejection. I've been rejected for a lot of things in lmy life so far ... and I know there is far more to come. And when I do like a guy I'm afraid to tell him because of his reaction. I have a really great friend right now that I'm attracted to but I don't say anything because I'm afraid of losing him. I care about him so much that if I did lose him... I would be devasted.

I do not believe you never had a friend, who is a boy (boyfriend). What you probably really need now is what every human person goes after, a lover. It is our biological program to release fluids and you are ready to explode. We use sex and the stimulious for release. Love, sex does have a common relationship, so all you have to learn is who can provide the best to you.

No need to rush headlong into a relationship. There's no age at which one should be in a partnership, pet.<br />
<br />
At twenty-five, I had a seven-year-old son and had gotten engaged - to a man who went from devoted boyfriend to beating me into hospital......<br />
I got rid of him and, on the rebound, married someone who proved to be deeply insecure, spent the seven years of our marriage cutting me off from all my friends, except one - and then ran off with that so-called friend!<br />
<br />
I'm happily married now, have been for fifteen years, but I travelled a long, hard road to get here.<br />
<br />
Don't be desperate to get a boyfriend. <br />
Though I understand not wanting tobe alone, relationships aren't always great.

i feel the same as you, except fortunatelly for me, i have already been kissed but never had a relationship, like you i'm don't like when there are couples around