No Boyfriend.. Ever...

Sometimes I feel beyond pathetic...
After being done with high school, I would've thought that things would be different, but no.Junior High and High school were pure hell for me in about every single department. I was a social misfit, I was bullied alot because of my Weight problem, my glasses, my speech impediment, my Learning difficulties and so on. Guys avoided me like I had some contagious and/or Deadly desease, always making me feel and telling me that no one would ever want to be with me, and let alone be seen in public holding hands with me or whatever.
After that, I kind of gave up on the idea of ever finding a guy that couldĀ  like me for who I am, flaws and imperfections included

Now at 22 years of age : still nothing... And they say life get better after high school.... Yeah right!

It's still hard for me to think about those past experiences, or to picture myself in a Relationship with someone.
This, and I'm fully aware, is the product of years and years of people (mostly guys) telling me that I'll be alone forever and making me feel like s***, simply because I wasn't like most people. I always stood out, and not in the best way (in their opinion) and they always took every opportunity to remind me of that.

I dont find it suprising that I have a hard time trusting men because of what I went through.
Someone(especially a man!) Can't even give me a compliment without making me feel bad. To this day, I still think that the guy is making fun of me or something like that...

Trust issues is a big thing for me. I don't think I'll ever be able to look at a man without getting flashbacks of what happened to me in high school. If someone did that to me again, I honestly don't know how I would take it...

In spite of that , I'm still optimistic, and I still believe that there are nice guys out there, but the A**holes kind of messed things up for the good ones in my case. I guess I'll stop thinking that way when I meet someone that'll treat me with the respect and the consideration that I know I deserve.
I'm not desperate, depressed about my situation nor am I even envious of the Lucky ladies being asked out on dates, and who had had a taste of romance (At least, not anymore).
I know that all things happen in good time, and that eventually, someone will come along, and give me all the things I've been wanting...


ArtExceteraESQ ArtExceteraESQ
22-25, F
4 Responses Nov 28, 2012

so lets talk and plan this better

Hi i'm exactley like you im 23 and have never had a bf ever, (i was also bullied but it was by girls at secondary school)

1. Boys will be boys even a-holes, but they should never had done that to you! i know what its like, it really does knock your confidence and self esteem.(whats the point in life but keep that thought behind lock and key)

2. You have to tell yourself the positives - what you like about yourself: the more you feel good about yourself and have fun, the sooner a guy will be involved ( learn to love yourself before others can love you back)

3. Your still young you might find love at a later age. just don't let it bother you.

4. Never Give up!!!!

5. Men/ boys aren't all that cracked up to be the ammount of heartbroken friends, i have over a man makes you glad your single.

I hoped i help in some way

I have very similar story. In high school I was the girl that was almost always alone. Now our school system is little diferent so I was with the same people for 8 years (12-19). For about two years they were always making fun of me. I guess it wasn't that bad (or as bad as yours) but I had nowhere to meet new people. They were all people in my age I knew. My confidence for meeting new people was very bad. Then I went to the University in the capital and got to know some new people. I have not had a boyfriend yet. I used to think it is because of my weight and looks. Now I think it is maybe only partly true. I think that my shyness, lack of confidence and trust issues are cause of it.
I'm glad that I'm not the only one like this, even if we're from different parts of world.

Hi there! They say that you shouldn't change who you are because someone will come along and accept the real you. I think that's partly true. To some extent, you must adapt to what you think would be best for you. Try to be the best person you can be both inside and out. I bet you'll never have to worry about having a guy that will make you feel appreciated.

Thanks :)