Real Wedding, Just Not How I Planned

My boyfriend (at the time) and I got married by Justice of the Peace after we found out I got pregnant. I didn't want to just "throw" together a wedding so we figured financially and logistically this would work out the best. He is in the army and I wanted to be together as a family. I could never raise our child by myself with him 5 hours away from me. So we got hitched and had a lovely dinner afterwards. It was the best weekend of my life. I had no regrets marrying him, I just regret not having the "fancy white dress church" wedding that I always dreamed about. We are both Catholics and to get married in the Church consists of a blessing ceremony. It is very simple. I can't even wear a white dress or have my father give me away. I know I shouldn't be complaining about how much of a loss this is to me, but I just need to vent and just say this SUCKS!!!! I am fully aware that my life choices result in me not having the wedding of my dreams but I just can't seem to get over the fact that while my friends are having these beautiful ceremonies, I will have a simple "blessing". Also, I feel like a major disappointment because my father has told me several times how disappointed he is in me because of the baby. My parents are super conservative so this was a hard thing for them to accept. Honestly, I"m really happy with my life and I love my hubby and child. I just feel that a part of me is missing because I didn't have the wedding of my dreams. I can't seem to get over that. Any suggestions?
pickle88 pickle88
2 Responses Nov 20, 2011

My hubby and I moved far from our families and we wanted to get married right away so we also didn't get the wedding I always wanted but I had been planning for one anyways for bringing my family together unfortunately its been a year and the more time that passes it starts to feel more pointless to have a wedding because we are already married but if you really want a ceremony have one on an anniversary and renew your vows to each other or you know just have a baby girl and throw her the best wedding ever lol it really is never too late to have a ceremony and on top of that you got married in the court so really you could have another one for God and your family coming together to bless your marriage! You should have one! Make no regrets in your life. Life is too short for them if you regret not having a wedding then have one. I support you! Really Start saving some money now if you can and post back if you decide to have one and let me know lol. Marriage is a beautiful thing hard most times but beautiful and instead of your dad giving you away maybe have him accept your hubby as his son some traditions will change but you can make it work!

I know exactly how you feel, the same happened with me. Got pregnant, we got married real quick, I never had the engagement, of was able to plan my wedding, have a real wedding, honeymoon or even a baby shower because we moved overseas right after. I don't tell other ppl about it, I just keep those feelings to myself but trust me when I say I know how you feel. I know exactly how much this sucks and how you wish things would have been different. There really is no getting over, you can still have a real wedding and do all the planning but it will never be the same as the very first time. My husband doesn't care that we never had any of those things. His first wife got everything she wanted. I as his second wife got everything I never wished for. I never got over it and hopefully someday I can. I hope that you can figure something out and maybe one day have the wedding of your dreams, even if it's a little late. Be happy, smile and enjoy life with your family :) God Bless!