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Sex Should Never Be Entered Lightly

I'm not afraid to admit, i'm 26(even though my profile wont let me change it) and never had sex, its a choice... i believe that in order to for it to come to this, i have to be in love first. since i can't find that person i connect with on multiple levels i just wont settle... when i was younger i thought of the consequences which prevented me from going there... in my family women got pregnant at an early age and  was forced to drop out of h.s. to raise their kids, i refused to let that happen to me... but now it's like everyones talking about it or doing it... and i still refuse to just settle for anything less... i don't know call me old fashion but i believe that since 12 yo are now having babies i think i can wait a little longer....

Unfocused Unfocused 26-30, F 34 Responses Jul 13, 2010

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that's wonderfull..you should def wait for the one u love and who loves u back..:)

I think I may have met him. We'll see :-).

Think yourself lucky that you have the choice of experiencing sex if you so choose. Some people are so unattractive that there is no choice about it. It just will not happen.

Not sure how to respond to this, but ok.

To each his/her own. I just hope you don't regret, when you get older, not enjoying your youth by avoiding sex . I have had sex since I was about 18. But I already regret not having more of it as my "best before date" is quickly approaching or has passed. I've come to realize that with all the things that we have in life to keep us interested in life, sex is one the most natural and free activities we have. I consider it a gift. A gift that should be enjoyed before this one short life is over. Being in love and having sex I think is the best. But a close second is sex without love. There are ways of doing it safely without the risk of getting pregnant or getting and STD.



Having said that, if you can continue, in your later years, to have quality of life, then your choice would make sense. The only problem is, people continue to grow and change and you may not feel the same when you are, say in your 40's or 50's, when the available partners will be lesser than what you have in your current age group.

Sex without love is just ****ing. I'm happy with my choice, temptation is always around. But how many people can say "my first time was with my husband/wife" Life is full of people that won't disclose their health records.

you are on your way girl keep it moving.

You can have fun without going that route... With everything going on in the world why limit yourself to just a little bit of "fun"... If and when I decide to, trust and believe it will be with the person I will spend the rest of my life with.

I respect your views, But I think now its time for you to have some fun. Sex doesn't always means to take in someones'. You can enjoy youself or can have foreplay with your trusted male freinds without harm.

@pro390 Amen...



@ox not many are left lol but yea there is :)

Very Nice!!!!!!!



(1 Corinthians 6:9-10) 9 What! Do YOU not know that unrighteous persons will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be misled. Neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men kept for unnatural purposes, nor men who lie with men, 10 nor thieves, nor greedy persons, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners will inherit God’s kingdom.

thanks tony :-)

Be prouid of yourself because you set your moral standard high and kept to it.

Don;t rush into anything until it feels right to you, not others.

WHen the right person comes along, they will respect your choice in staying a virgin, if they don't they are not the right one.

stay strong

@misslunallena good for you also... never let a man tell you that "if you love him, you will do this for him" I get that a lot... and my reply is some times a bit smart, but it is very true. I would either say "If you love me you would wait." or "I guess I don't love you then" Stay true to who you are.



@ANEWME thanks :-)

Good for you! I completely agree--sex shouldn't be taken lightly--not for granted--

i admire u, u are doing well, i think the correct is to wait the right person, that person that make u feel inlove, that person that make u feel how important u are how u worth thats good for u, i still waiting too cause i think make love is make love not just sex and to make love u need to be inlove and know that person.............

i admire u, u are doing well, i think the correct is to wait the right person, that person that make u feel inlove, that person that make u feel how important u are how u worth thats good for u, i still waiting too cause i think make love is make love not just sex and to make love u need to be inlove and know that person.............

awww thanks.... I can't really tell people what to do, I try to help them understand that love and sex should be one... I tried to show the young women in my family and didn't seem to get them to understand until after they've done "the deed" sad to say :-(....

Congratulations for standing by your convictions, in this day and age waiting for a stable loving relationship to become physical is laughed at. Why is it so hard for some people to accept the emotional side of a sexual relationship and some are not willing to throw a once in a lifetime experience away. We need more people like you, to show younger generations that sex is something to take seriously as it can have a profound effect on your life in many different ways.

i started having sex while youngish, and i think it was a bad choice. it is fun, but it also gets your heart involved, and that is so tender that it can be hard to recover from any damage. probably best to follow the traditional advice and wait until marriage, and people would end up living happier lives. i somewhat envy all the happy married people. not that there have been that many of them in recent times, my parents divorced and it seemed like that whole generation did a lot of that. most of my friends had only 1 parent when i was a kid. but my sister has a happy marriage and so i know that it is possible, though i always doubted it because of seeing so many divorces. i guess the presence of her family is the best gift anyone has ever given me. some people seem to do ok with having sex before marriage, but i think they must have sacrificed something in the heart region to do so without hurting themselves ... well not that i know for sure, but i would have to. or, maybe it is just supposed to hurt and eventually some people learn to like that. perceiving pain as pleasure like the marquis de sade would.

only time will tell...

i hope your decision rubs off on them too. i think young women would be doing themselves a favor b following your example.

thanks jerrica...i just hope i rub off on some of the young women in my family...

i love this :) so refreshing to see a young woman who isn't afraid to march to the beat of her own drummer, do things her own way and decide what is best for her. you go, girl!

@bloodcloth no one should have to face what you are going through... the only thing I can say is surround yourself with positive people. The more people that care for you the better you feel about yourself. If all that fails, find new people. Not everyones the same.

@msdunx thanks

@SpiritualTowTruck not a lot of ppl are like that anymore :-)

keep doing what you believe

that last line is supposed to say "hold on to what you want to be" :) cheers

I am happy with what I am and what happened to me - I wouldn't wish it on me or anyone but I except and I think my life with all the abuse I have gone thru- I think "I feel like I win when I loose" like the song from Abba "waterloo". I don't tell people what happen to me for sympathy but to educate them to be aware of what evil people do- I only wish someone had of done that for me- but no one liked or cared for me enough, but that doesn't mean I have to be that way.

oh, I had a guy literally tell me that as I was a virgin he wouldn't have sex with me and then went around deliberately degradation me calling me a lesbian and getting his female leso friends to get fresh with me, he'd say, the more feminine you are means your more likely to be a lesbian, and him and this girl bashed me and later I was raped. stay true to what you want. I went to a therapist who kept saying I had a Cinderella complex and was looking to be rescued looking for love and romance, and she'd say I had to have sex out of anger. please don't do this! I had a stroke because of all this. don't let someone hurt you like I was hurt. best you don't advertise the V-card too much. be careful who you trust, because many people out there have different views and can be satanic and clever at messing in your head, I was vulnerable after a death in the family and fell victim to a pack of satanic evil people, plus I was sexually assaulted and abused as a child. how on to who you want to be.

I hope your family is playing with you, but even if they are you shouldn't have to go through that. My family applauds me for my choice. Just like they applaud me, I applaud you. I could imagine how that hurts, the people that should be behind your decision are the ones thats bringing it up... The only thing my family does is broadcast it to everyone(which can get a bit annoying)... I really can't say what to do about your family, but I can tell you that as long as you feel you are not ready then wait... If you rush into it you, you might regret it.... Don't let someone influence you away from your choice and keep doing what you doing, it'll pay off in the end...

@aceapollos When you stop believing in your beliefs, the person you are tends to fade.... So I applaud you for sticking by yours also and not give into temptation or peer pressure( I know you had to face a lot because I did) esp. from your friends and media. If so many other people realized that they can wait, there would be far less pregnant kids (12-18 yo)



@Brad1983 (great year by the way :-)...) It has been really hard going down the path I am on, but I know in the long run, it will work itself out. The fact that getting a STD or getting pregnant scared the h#!! out of me kind of kept me on this path... The problem not is, I got so comfortable with holding on to my V-card its hard to believe the motives of some men... I know not all men are after woman for sex, but the ones that tend to come around me the most are after that... How do you tell someone that you are still a Virgin without them wanting to be your first?

you views are amazing and so much like mine. Though I am a bit religious and it is my devotion to Jesus that makes me preserve myself (I am 23). But, i agree that sex and virginity is not something to be taken lightly as eating a new kind of burger.

Yea i kinda didn't read it correctly.... Wow... that's sad... the only thing you can do is be her friend and maybe pray for her... If she is having a lot of partners she's obviously not looking into the consequences of her actions... there are a lot of things that can happen even if she's using protection... nothing involving sex is 100% safe... the sad thing is that she's doing it and she's using you as a tissue to wipe her tears...(sorry for the bad pun) i wish she could see that whats she's doing is not only hurting her, but hurting you as well... she means a lot to you and she can't seem to understand that...

@faintshadow... your friend is buying into the hype that sex rules the world... after she loses her virginity she will regret it... there are so many people i've met that wished they would have never lost it the way they did, or wished they would have lost it when they got a little bit older and wiser... it takes two to tangle... two to make a baby... and after the baby comes it suppose to take two but when you are so desperate to have sex the consequences are overshadowed by the willingness to loose something that is so sacred... you are only a virgin once and if you treat it as something less than what it really is, then you are asking for trouble... loosing your vriginity is the last step to loosing your innocence... tell your friend its ok to want sex but not if she lets it control her... the biggest thing she can do is wait for the right person... the worst thing she can do is enter into it lightly thinking that it will solve all her problems...