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Sad But True

I'm 27 and never had sex.  Is that pathetic or what.  I'm sick of it and tired of hearing of people talking about them talk about it
loneranger loneranger 31-35, M 15 Responses Aug 31, 2007

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I think that you should not search for sex. Have friends; do not be obsessed by finding a woman for sex. I did this mistake till late (maybe because I lost many years of my life due to a very serious accident that left me flat for years) and got myself under pressure to the point I was getting scared of failing and very shy. I then decided to simply enjoy company of people and one day I realised that a women was after me and went on seeing the friendship aspects in the first place. <br />
Because I had forgotten about the sex thing as a “must do” telling myself that I want to make love to her rather that in need to do it. I was calm and lost my shyness. And one day we kissed and soon after we went to bed. I was passed 30 and got what I wanted with a woman I really liked. <br />
It is only my own experience and there are probably other very valuable ways to “get there”, people may even disagree with my point of view. Actually the drawback of what I have done is that now I realise that we should actually be just best friends rather than a couple. I have to leave her, and leaving a very nice, kind and genuine person is, for me, one of the hardest things to do, but that is another long story.<br />
Anyway one thing I can tell is that a late start does not make you less good at it or less prone to enjoy it (well, maybe first time will be a bit stressful). Do not worry too much about it, your time is very likely to come sooner than you may think.

If you think it's pathetic, then it is pathetic. <br />
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Stop thinking that it's pathetic. If you want to fix it, then fix it. It will take some work, but it's doable.

I think many women are intimidated by men who are sexually more experienced; I think you are failing to see the positive side of your virginity-status. I mean, the fact that there are still male virgins over the age of 25 gives me hope. I really respect that, even if you didn't do it to save yourself for marriage/someone special/whatever. Fact is, you COULD HAVE paid to have the girl on the corner. But you didn't. So lose the 'pathetic' / 'loser' labels and celebrate yourself. Then you'll find someone who will appreciate the man you are.

if u feel comfortable by not having then what's the worry?<br />
if u desire and not getting.. then is a bit more complicated

I felt the same way but found love when I quit my job and went to Uni in my early thirties. It only lasted 6 years but it was a proper romance and I treasure the memories of those times. If its worth anything to you I think being 'late' finding love ultimately made it a more rewarding experience for both of us, and it also helped that my old-fashioned Englishness was more attractive to the lady in question than the other young lads she had to choose from.<br />
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I still don't know if theres a 'knack' to it or if its just luck to meet someone you can connect with, but it seems to me that all it takes to generate chances at love is to go the extra yard to make everyone you meet feel happy and special, and risk doing something publicly embarassing or brave to show the one you fancy exactly how much further you're prepared to go to get noticed by them. Doing stupid things in the name of romance even if it fails most of the time will be endearing enough to eventually get someone interested in spending some quality time with you.

I've chosen not to have sex until marriage. I don't plan to marry in a long while.

Ksmith, I don't know if you have read through the whole thread but it has nothing to do with me wanting to save myself for the right person as much as I am such a loser when it comes to women that I have never even been on a ae let alone get laid short of going downtown and pcking one up on the corner for $5

I'm sorry that you feel badly about this now. I do understand how it's sacred and special and when you're younger...it's a great thing to save according to society. But then, if you're too old.....it flips and people consider this a flaw and some sort of defect. I would say that at this point, and depending on ur reasons for saving yourself.....keep your status personal. I mean, not as it's something to be ashamed of....but it's no one's business. Most girls are not going to ask that question! But, depending on whether you want to have sex or continue waiting....you may have to eventually tell. Oh, and I'm in MD too! lol

I was 28 when I lost my virginity and was raped. because I was so sexually abused as a kid I was fridgid and phobic to anything sexual, and I was from a poor family so guys never bothered with me or treated me nicely. don't sell yourself cheap. its nothing without romance and real love. I had a stroke after. sex is over-rated really.

15 is not so bad, when you get to 30 it just becomes pathetic, and it has nothing to do with me wanting to wait and more of women want nothing to do with me at all

people these days are sad. i am a 15 year old virgin and in no rush whatsoever of poppin my cherry any time soon.

Wow! Congratulations. I think it's awesome that you're still a virgin in today's society. I think people talk about sex either because they think they are supposed to, or they like to brag about what they aren't getting.

That's not bad, don't worry

Personally I find it overrated. I'm 33 and have slept with 4 people in my whole life, but I can't say I had one amazing sexual experience with any of them. They were all just 'ok.' All the really good sex I've ever had was with myself. :)

of course same thing with me too, me too 27 and never had sex so far. even not a kiss too