Unreal!! I am so angry I am shaking. I have had an awful day. I have been accused of so much the last few weeks I can hardly fathom it. My daughter left me to live with her dad and can my husband possibly understand how I feel??? No. He accuses me of being evil and wanting to hurt his daughter. His daughter?!

Today when I asked if we could simply do something as a family (I long to just have a family.., is that too much to wish for?unrealistic? Selfish?) he freaked and said I am purposefully trying to prevent him from golfing and taking his daughter out with him. Wtf??? Then said two year olds and teens have nothing in common. We can't do things that way. All together. He said you wanted the baby now stay with her so the others can go out. Then said we are leaving. I will be at work while the kids are at sports afterwards.

But was that the end? I said again can we could go hiking or mini golfing etc. Thinking maybe he would understand it is possible to do something as a while family. He called me a ***** grabbed me squeezed my hands super hard and said get out of his house. That I am malicious etc. They left me with a crying little girl for the movies. I felt for an hour I ought to just shoot myself. My teen left me. His kids hate me yet are angels with him. Somehow i feel the worst mom ever because of these types of things. I am ridiculously lonely and can't figure out why he's like this. And what I keep doing. He says shut up and normally I do!!

I got over it and moved on. Later went to bed and he comes in and said you have a problem with my daughter? I was like. What? He said you said hi (different kid he was on the phone with) but sounded snotty. I was stunned. Could he be seriously starting crap because he thought my tone not friendly enough?? I said again you are looking for crap to accuse me of. I wasn't rude when I said hi. I asked what is his problem? I was crazy mad. I said your like a girl looking for crap. Why??? I said are you determined to keep attacking me? He went on about me and I stood up and said you have no right to grab me and threaten me. I am sick of it. I said your demeaning and vicious and need to get a reality check. He said sorry then. As if he meant it!!

Now I am on the couch. Like almost every night. I am not suicidal but heavens does it appeal to me with everything In my life. Does he care my mom has stage four cancer? Does he care I am hurt my daughter left? I miss her. It's embarrassing. Does he care about things that hurt me, upset me? No. But can he even just let me alone? No. His style is jugular. Until your on the floor bleeding at his feet.

I was still saying something in the room and he just shut the bedroom light off. I was stunned. For one minute I thought "is he crazy? I could punch him in the head or worse". I wish I did!! I wish I had the courage or insanity. Instead , like I said , I went to the couch.
NotSoPerfect777 NotSoPerfect777
41-45, F
2 Responses Sep 2, 2014

I know the pain of a teenaged child basically choosing the other parent over me. It hurts, but no one else seems to notice or care.

That's a nasty situation, you really need to try and distance yourself from all of that. I don't know what your financial situation looks like but it sounds to me like it you should be planning an escape.