Never Got To Say It...

I had always watched from afar, but could never get the courage to say anything about it. We laughed together, joked together, drank and smoked together; everything seemed like it would have worked if I had only just tried to take that step forward. I couldn't do it; no matter how much I told myself that I could, something had always held me back. I was that brave and kinda crazy kid who took on the battlefield of life but was just too scared to put his heart out there because of worry of rejection or pain.
I tried so many times to tell myself that it was going to be okay, that I should just give it a try, but I didn't. I chose to watch from a distance as you walked away with somebody else. I could have been there, that could have been me, but I didn't even try to say anything. It almost feels like it was ages ago that I was hiding in the shadows. When I finally said something, I knew I was too late. I had always wanted to be yours, but we both know that I took too long. I don't know what to say; to ask for your forgiveness or to wish you the best. All I know is I never got to say what I wanted to say to you.
bladegunner07 bladegunner07
26-30, M
1 Response Nov 5, 2010

I can relate...I'm trying to forgive myself and just let it go and move on, because I cannot change it...I do know I will never do it again!