"Too Many Things Left Unsaid"

    There was never time to say the things I thought you knew.  I always felt that telling you how I felt would be a moot point, because I always assumed that you would know how I felt about you.  I have adored you since you were a wee baby. You were cute, but at times, a pain in my behind. There were so many times growing up, that you wanted to hang with me, and I said no. I realize now that you just wanted to spend time with me, and I wish I would have let you tag along. It isn't like it would have made a difference, the only ting that would have mattered is that you would have been there. Had I known that life was going to throw a curve ball like it did, I would have let you tag along more often, taken the time to spend with you, told you "I love you", instead of assuming you knew. I would have made sure that you knew that I always envied your ability to make everyone laugh. It would have been a good idea to have told you that it amazed me that you could fix a motor at your age, even if it still spit and sputtered. (The smoke trail behind you, let us know you were on your way, lol.)  If I had the chance i would tell you how special you were, you never knew a stranger.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think of the rough times we made it through as kids, because we covered for each other, and tried to protect each other as only siblings can. I have looked back these many years and if we had things to do over, I am sure we would have made different choices. Maybe if we had communicated more, the guilty parties would have paid a price, instead of talking you into lying about "walking into a door". I know you had your reasons, but that didn't make it right. You were guilted into covering up the truth. My door was always open. you were welcome to stay with me. I loved you with all my heart and it hurt me deeply to see you mistreated. I wasn't surprised at the lives you touched, for you have touched many..............You were always the life of the party.....I miss you everyday, but you are with Grandma and my twins,make them laugh like you did me..<3  I will never forget you brother of mine.....!!!!
TwilightDream TwilightDream
36-40, F
Dec 2, 2011