All My Life I Had Wished I Hadn't Been Taken Out Of Diapers

I know my family knows about my infatuation with diapers, I have just never been able to admit to it.
I do not remember much from my childhood but i clearly recall being three, freshly taken out of diapers, and every time I would sneak into the drawer that housed my baby brother's diapers, my mom was not far behind, ready to fill my young mind with the double speak of parents, leaving me making the choice to remain in my big boy underwear. Later in life when i was old enough to understand guilt trips, i got it, but back then I recall being perplexed on how she tricked me into it despite my desire to return to my diapers.
During this time I was attending a Montessori school and as soon as I saw a classmate get hauled off and changed into a diaper for an accident he had in his pants, I was on the fast track to being diapered. Which worked awhile though it didn't take too many times before I was dropped off everyday with additional underwear.
At the age of nine there were diapers in the house again with the recent arrival of my youngest brother and I kept myself at bay as much as I could but continually found myself drawn back to the diapers. About the time he started eating solid food, I couldn't resist trying them on again. And soon started mess my diapers around time he was messing his so that I wouldn't get caught but it didn't always work.
I received in school suspension (ISS) in middle school for a week for being a fight that was a result of defending my friend Ryan. I received a week for throwing the first punch while he only got one day. The portable was in the corner of the school grounds away from everybody. Inside cubicles lined the walls and a desk at one end that could see all the cubicles. We were taken to the restroom twice. Both times were during class periods so we didn't have any contact with the other children. Our lunches were delivered from the cafeteria as well. During the first day, I thought about wearing a diaper to the class and how easy it would able to get away because of the isolation. When I woke the next morning I put on a diaper and headed to ISS. Everything was going great, being diapered in ISS by myself. I looked down at my watch and noticed we were almost ten minutes late for the first bathroom break so I raised my hand. He asked what I needed and i asked when we were going to the restroom. He looked up at me from his book and said that we weren't because he said the walk was hard on his knees and he knew that I had it covered. At that moment, I realized when I sat down in the desk chair that my diaper had risen and through the hole in the molded plastic chair, he could see the waistband. Embarrassed, I started fidgeting with my shirt and pants trying to cover my diaper. He chuckled and said that it was a little late for that. After awhile, out of dead silence he asked if I had anything to change into. I told him I didn't and he told me that if I went in my diaper we would take me to the restroom during the normally scheduled second break but I would go home commando.
Lunch came and I ate it all, about a hour or so after he noticed me shifting slowly from side to side in my seat and he asked me if I had to go. My turned beat red and said yes. Do what you need to but understand that it's still a few hours until we take break. I said ok then asked if I could get out of my seat. He understood and allowed it. So I went and I felt odd sitting in a dirty diaper in front of someone that knew. Yet I also enjoyed it and for that I was glad I faced the particle board walls of my cubicle because I spent forever with a ear to ear grin on my face. On the way to the restroom later that day, he asked why I wore the diaper to his class and all I could do was blush. I cleaned myself up and returned with him to the portable for the last half hour of school. No much else was said until the bell signifying the end of the school day. He told me he thought I should bring something to change into the next day. I spent the rest of the week, practically allowed to use my diaper to my heart's content.
From the time my youngest brother was potty-trained until I started working at my first part-time job, diapers were scarce, but when I found myself able to sneak one out of a friend's baby sibling's supply I had no problems with helping myself to it.
My first job was at fourteen as a dishwasher and busboy at a Mexican restaurant and would buy a pack as I could manage to collect odd change as not raise alarm to missing funds in my account. Half way through a pack of depends, I had fell asleep in a dirty diaper and a shirt. I awoke to my mom complaining that she thought I was over it. I guess she thought the earlier times were just a phase. She told me to go clean up and take a shower. When I got done with my shower I noticed the package was missing.
A few years later I started driving and I had a bad crash resulting in a hospital stay. I bought a car soon after and started hiding my packages of diapers in the trunk. One night I had apparently left my car unlocked and my brother who I had recently had a fight with got into my car and found the packages. He placed them in the living room for all to see. When I woke, I was questioned about them before they destroyed (cut) and thrown away.
I let some time pass and decided to buy some more so I went to the other end of town so nobody I knew would see me as I always did since I had started driving. I would have no such luck, I had overlooked the fact that my friend of ten years at this point, Ryan, worked a block and a half from the grocery store I had gone to. He had walked in to get something to eat for lunch and saw me in line buying a new pack of diapers and was outside waiting with questions. Embarrassed, on the fly, I made up the story that I was incontinent from a pinched nerve that effected me mainly but not exclusively at night as a result of my wrecked truck and that the corrective surgery was considered an elective surgery not covered by insurance (which I later confirmed) because incontinence wasn't life threatening. I begged him not to tell anyone because I was embarrassed about it and he agreed to.
Since then, anybody that knows about my wearing diapers, whether by me telling them about it or them seeing a diaper on me or the package being found in my various hiding spots, has gotten the same story. I even told the lady who would become my wife the same story. She said she understood but made it clear if it was some kind of fetish, we were done. It had evolved through time that my incontinence is further  agitated by drinking and stress as a loop to not being forced into being in a diaper if I didn't want to be. After I had my appendix removed a year and a half ago, I struggled with stomach pain for months and told my wife that even if I got a badass insurance plan that covered the corrective surgery for incontinence, wouldn't, that I could live with it as long as I didn't have to ever deal with the pains of surgery.
About a year ago I got a promotion to manage the warehouse end of the business I'm in and that came with a huge load of stress. My wife informed me that she understood if the stress lead to me wearing more often and I have taken advantage of the situation after some time and have been diapered day and night for quite a while now and couldn't be happier about it. To be honest it will be a huge pain to resort back if at all possible due to the fact i am actually becoming less and less potty trained. A little over a week ago, I actually had a decent size turd in my diaper before I had even the slightest clue. Since then, it has happened like that a few times.
I do wish it wasn't under false pretenses that my friends and wife know, but I knew I would be looked down upon by people that found out that didn't understand it. Even though a lot of my friends and my wife know I wear and use diapers, I still haven't ever been able to confess it with words to my family, but they know none the less. They wouldn't believe my story anyhow.
PoopyDiapers4me PoopyDiapers4me
26-30, M
2 Responses Jan 13, 2013

Some of us are just meant to be this way. I was so happy when I needed to start wearing nappies all the time. I couldn't imagine not being dependent on nappies now.

I hear you. I am sort of in the same situation. My wife knows I wear and she knows I like to. She thinks I have a little leaking problem, for which I am seeing a doctor for. But they don't realize its all about my love for my diapers. I totally enjoy wearing diapers. I mostly only wet them but do occasionally poop in my diapers. The VA has got me in some cheap pull-ups, that's what they call them. I am going to try to get them to buy me some cloth diapers, which is my diaper any way. Text me sometime at bigbabytim@yahoo.com