Post

Didn't Go, No Regrets

I never went to either of my proms (junior or senior year). I had no interest in it. A big reason, though I never admitted it to any of my friends, was that I didn't have a date. I didn't want it to be like every other dance, me running around alone watching all of my friends in the arms of their dates, feeling jealous and angry, ugly and alone. The other reason was the dress. I didn't want to spend a ton of money on something I would wear one time and then throw away in the back of my closet. Plus, I don't like to dance in front of people. So it didn't really make any sense for me to go. Why end my already crappy high school experience with another bad memory?, that's what I say!

earth2bella earth2bella 22-25, F 9 Responses Mar 9, 2008

Your Response

Cancel

That's exactly how I felt my jumior year. My senior year was a bit more..I hated high school so much I just wanted it to be over and done with so I just didn't see the point in participating in one of those final high school events.

I was home-schooled and, needless to say, didn't participate in the traditional experience of High School. Looking back, I have no regrets about what I may or may not have missed out on. I feel as though I'm on the same level academically (or higher) than the majority of my peers, and through my own efforts, I've managed to hone even more opportunities than those who were carefully guided through much of their high school term. With regard to prom, I think my expectations were far grander than the reality of what would have been offered. I'd expected the wide-budget splendor and attention-to-detail of a Hollywood-produced film, replete with vibrant live band, designer gowns, and crystalline lights. Today, I doubt that any average, economically middle-road school would have invested that kind of funding into a single evening (for one set of pupils, much less in annual repeat for every progressive class of students). I don't feel bad because I realize that prom is much more of an idea than a life-altering event. For teens gradually reaching the precipice of their high school term--and the beginning of young adulthood--prom has traditionally become somewhat a rite of passage. Although, I think we fail to realize that prom is much more of an interdependent event than a passive experience that just "happens" to us. Unlike a wedding or Bar/ Bat Mitzvah where every detail can be shaped to preference to create as much of a fairytale as desired, with a prom, individually everyone has very little say over what happens and how everything plays out. If minimal effort is invested, then a menial experience will ensue. If lots of money and strong collective efforts are enforced, then--obviously--a far more elaborate experience will abound. No two proms are alike. Each person's experience will be different (this doubles on a personal level depending on social rank). Essentially, the value of a prom should never be determined from a comparative standpoint. No one can say whether or not another should or shouldn't attend their event. Only the person themselves can discern what value attending (or not attending) will hold for them.



As for me, I say let them drink punch. Your entire life is one continued prom after another. High school will always echo into adulthood, try as you might to escape it.

I was home-schooled and, needless to say, didn't participate in the traditional experience of High School. Looking back, I have no regrets about what I may or may not have missed out on. I feel as though I'm on the same level academically (or higher) than the majority of my peers, and through my own efforts, I've managed to hone even more opportunities than those who were carefully guided through much of their high school term. With regard to prom, I think my expectations were far grander than the reality of what would have been offered. I'd expected the wide-budget splendor and attention-to-detail of a Hollywood-produced film, replete with vibrant live band, designer gowns, and crystalline lights. Today, I doubt that any average, economically middle-road school would have invested that kind of funding into a single evening (for one set of pupils, much less in annual repeat for every progressive class of students). I don't feel bad because I realize that prom is much more of an idea than a life-altering event. For teens gradually reaching the precipice of their high school term--and the beginning of young adulthood--prom has traditionally become somewhat a rite of passage. Although, I think we fail to realize that prom is much more of an interdependent event than a passive experience that just "happens" to us. Unlike a wedding or Bar/ Bat Mitzvah where every detail can be shaped to preference to create as much of a fairytale as desired, with a prom, individually everyone has very little say over what happens and how everything plays out. If minimal effort is invested, then a menial experience will ensue. If lots of money and strong collective efforts are enforced, then--obviously--a far more elaborate experience will abound. No two proms are alike. Each person's experience will be different (this doubles on a personal level depending on social rank). Essentially, the value of a prom should never be determined from a comparative standpoint. No one can say whether or not another should or shouldn't attend their event. Only the person themselves can discern what value attending (or not attending) will hold for them.



As for me, I say let them drink punch. Your entire life is one continued prom after another. High school will always echo into adulthood, try as you might to escape it.

I was home-schooled and, needless to say, didn't participate in the traditional experience of High School. Looking back, I have no regrets about what I may or may not have missed out on. I feel as though I'm on the same level academically (or higher) than the majority of my peers, and through my own efforts, I've managed to hone even more opportunities than those who were carefully guided through much of their high school term. With regard to prom, I think my expectations were far grander than the reality of what would have been offered. I'd expected the wide-budget splendor and attention-to-detail of a Hollywood-produced film, replete with vibrant live band, designer gowns, and crystalline lights. Today, I doubt that any average, economically middle-road school would have invested that kind of funding into a single evening (for one set of pupils, much less in annual repeat for every progressive class of students). I don't feel bad because I realize that prom is much more of an idea than a life-altering event. For teens gradually reaching the precipice of their high school term--and the beginning of young adulthood--prom has traditionally become somewhat a rite of passage. Although, I think we fail to realize that prom is much more of an interdependent event than a passive experience that just "happens" to us. Unlike a wedding or Bar/ Bat Mitzvah where every detail can be shaped to preference to create as much of a fairytale as desired, with a prom, individually everyone has very little say over what happens and how everything plays out. If minimal effort is invested, then a menial experience will ensue. If lots of money and strong collective efforts are enforced, then--obviously--a far more elaborate experience will abound. No two proms are alike. Each person's experience will be different (this doubles on a personal level depending on social rank). Essentially, the value of a prom should never be determined from a comparative standpoint. No one can say whether or not another should or shouldn't attend their event. Only the person themselves can discern what value attending (or not attending) will hold for them.



As for me, I say let them drink punch. Your entire life is one continued prom after another. High school will always echo into adulthood, try as you might to escape it.

This is an old post but I feel the exact same way. Prom was yesterday but I didn't go. There's no point really... I would have just been sitting by myself since nobody even cares to talk to me. The funny thing is that there was a storm last night and the power went out so they would've been dancing in the dark with no music. lol

that's how I feel. I don't have a date (no one's ever dated me), I don't feel comfortable dressing up, I don't like dances or crowds, and I probably won't enjoy myself. But everyone seems so shocked when I tell them I am not going to prom. I don't think it's that big a deal..

XE, I'm glad you have your boyfriend there to bring you :) Yes, the real fun DOES begin when you're away from high school. Life really does change once you leave :) Good luck to you!



Diane- Back in high school I was way too afraid to even think of asking anyone, and my high school was relatively small, so most of them already had dates or would've rather died than gone with me (I don't say that to self-depricate, but out of honest truth). The few guys I did know who weren't going weren't going to change their minds if they got dates, so that kind of went out the window too :-/

wasn't there someone who wasn't going that you could have asked him to go with you. many times people dont have a date for the prom., so they dont go. i dont blame them as i wouldnt want to go alone. i didn't go to any proms myself as my folks would not let me date till i was 20.very old fashion.

My high school experience hasnt been great either. I'm a senior and am seriosly lacking a social life. I have no friends at my school and every looks at me like i'm some kind of monster. Fortunatly I have by best friend/ boyfriend. He's taking me to prom this year. We're just going to eat and leave he didnt go to his do he just wants to check it out. The real fun starts when we're away from the morons I was forced to learn with. I'm sorry bout what you went through though. I hope your having an awesome time now.