Farewell My Love, We Will Meet Again


From the first day we met  there was something unique about us.  Never in my wildest dreams did I picture the life that we lived together.  You were such a rogue, a party animal, nothing about you appealed to me.  Except for your fascination with my mothering skills!  You loved to hang out with me and my girls!  I should have known I was in trouble then!  When you were around I made sure I wore my dumpiest clothes.  I told you I couldn't cook, we couldn't date because I didn't know anyone well enough to trust with my kids.  So we were never alone.   On out first "date" I tripped in a gopher hole!  The girls insisted on wading below the little waterfall, I didn't want to, my toenails were painted ten different colours!  Then we waded through a field of wild  Hollyhocks!  You freaked when I fed the Clydesdale horses apples from my hand and two more came up and I fed them all!  I laughed so hard and teased you about being afraid of horses!  You couldn't get me away from them fast enough!  That was the true beginning.  You kept pulling me from disasters that never happened.  I was fearless around you because you were always more afraid for me... so I had no fear!  How liberating that was.  Thank you.  

I remember the look on your face the first time you saw me dressed up, dress,makeup, heels (for an appointment with my divorce lawyer)!  You said , "You've got legs!", with a stunned look on your face!  LOL  I punched you in the arm and said, " well what the hell do you think I've been walking on!"  You stumbled helping me out the door!  You actually had to have a drink and you kept putting your hand on my waist because I wouldn't hold your hand!  I was fiercely independent, you were my chauffeur, period.  You pouted because I wouldn't let you come in to the office with me, left you sitting in the waiting room, explaining you were a family friend who drove me because I was new to the city.  Moving on.

When we decided to live together we moved back to my hometown.  You wanted a line of demarcation between that life and our life.  What a line it was!  The first beer you had gave you a migraine!  That ended your drinking.  We were busy putting our home, our family together, bringing Jim to live with us after he graduated grade eight.  No more partying.  Sending the kids to a Catholic school.  We started going to church.  I bribed my uncles to take you for a fishing weekend.  You were on the phone with me all night!  No more weekends with the boys!  That rainy day after you dropped the kids off at school, we raced each other back up the stairs to bed and you held me close and said, "You've been divorced for awhile, why don't we go get a marriage license?"    We did.  Getting married December 20 because it was the only day I had enough staff  coverage to actually take a day off to get married!  Getting married again, in church on Holy Wednesday the following year.  Continually having our marriage blessed every time you got a priest for more than five minutes alone!  How many times did we say "I do"?  I lost count!  I called you "my marrying fool"!  We were fools for each other.  We loved each other so much!  We were always saying, and showing our love.

We raised our family.  We became Grandparents.  You loved us well!  Each and every one of us.  And we loved you.

The final year.  You had cancer.  We did all we could to stop it until we had to face the fact that nothing was working.  We told the kids in the Fall.  We spent every second of every day together.  I went to work with you.  I became your voice when you could no longer speak out loud.  You whispered in my ear, I spoke your words.  We laughed, we loved!  We prepared for you to die at home.  It was just you and I  ... no strangers came into our home to see you weak.  The last day, April 30, 2002, you woke up and said you changed your mind.  You wanted to see the Doctor.  Our middle child dropped by, you had her drive us, the first time you didn't drive yourself.  We spent all day together, talking, laughing, you wouldn't let me call anyone.  You sent our daughter home for supper and asked her to call everyone.  As soon as she left, you wanted to lay down.  We held hands, said I love you a few more times.  You left.  We never did say "Good Bye"

Good Bye My Love.  I have finally let you go.  It has not been easy ... but I am okay.  You will always have a special piece of my heart ... you loved me well.  I laugh and I sing and I will love again.  Thank you for showing me how.


ItsWindy ItsWindy
56-60, F
8 Responses Oct 19, 2011

Wow....Simply Amazing....I am utterly speechless

Sounds like a great love

Sounds like a great love

Never really get emotional but I cried my eyes out....this has touch my heart and I would never forget this story

Oh how I was so hoping for a punch line at the end of your story ...it's the defensive comic in me at all times when I KNOW my heart will hurt. And it does at the moment. I am so very sorry for your loss and yet I feel as if you have had a wonderful love story that no one would ever dare say "sorry" about. BEAUTIFUL ode to your husband. I TRULY, SINCERELY and with all respect hope you are at peace and living a great life with the children and grandchild you and "Russy" rasied. For that, you are blessed beyond words. I literally look like a raccoon thanks to you.

But you would be such a beautiful raccoon! You are so right! This is NOT a story of regret, it is a tribute to my Russy ... and a letting go without sorrow. It is an affirmation of love that truly did and does exist. I am at peace, and our family is a tribute (there are now 6 grandchildren)! There is more love for me in this life ... it is so close, I can feel it, enjoy it, and one day I will touch it, taste it's sweetness again. I have been truly blessed ... and I know and appreciate it, so very much!

I am positive he is smiling at you just as much as he had the pleasure of doing when he was here to hold you hand. Enjoy those 6 (yikes) grandchildren.

Aww this is so sweet, He sounds like a wounderful man. I am sure you will be happy again. You are such a good person someone is bound to fill you with smiles again. This story brought me to tears because I was thinking of mom and what she is going through. Thank you for sharing thiis. I'm happy you are able to move on. That must have been difficult.

Give your Mom a hug from me. Call her often, she needs you more than she will admit. He was, it took over 9 years to get to this point. He would not have been happy about that!

This was so touching. What a wonderful life. What a wonderful man. This is so courageous of you to be able to put this in words and be free enough to express this. He is smiling knowing you will be ok. He still loves you, Windy. He never left you. Thank you for sharing this tribute to him. You are a lucky woman. You give us hope.

What can I say? We are all made partly from our experiences and Russy was quite the experience! I learned a lot from him! A part of us will be forever entwined and I am enriched because of it! It is my obligation to go forth and multiply this experience, or it would have all been for naught!

I can't even begin to tell you how beautiful this was, and how lucky I feel to have had the chance to read this. Thank you.

Thank you!