Farewell My Love, We Will Meet AgainRussy
From the first day we met there was something unique about us. Never in my wildest dreams did I picture the life that we lived together. You were such a rogue, a party animal, nothing about you appealed to me. Except for your fascination with my mothering skills! You loved to hang out with me and my girls! I should have known I was in trouble then! When you were around I made sure I wore my dumpiest clothes. I told you I couldn't cook, we couldn't date because I didn't know anyone well enough to trust with my kids. So we were never alone. On out first "date" I tripped in a gopher hole! The girls insisted on wading below the little waterfall, I didn't want to, my toenails were painted ten different colours! Then we waded through a field of wild Hollyhocks! You freaked when I fed the Clydesdale horses apples from my hand and two more came up and I fed them all! I laughed so hard and teased you about being afraid of horses! You couldn't get me away from them fast enough! That was the true beginning. You kept pulling me from disasters that never happened. I was fearless around you because you were always more afraid for me... so I had no fear! How liberating that was. Thank you.
I remember the look on your face the first time you saw me dressed up, dress,makeup, heels (for an appointment with my divorce lawyer)! You said , "You've got legs!", with a stunned look on your face! LOL I punched you in the arm and said, " well what the hell do you think I've been walking on!" You stumbled helping me out the door! You actually had to have a drink and you kept putting your hand on my waist because I wouldn't hold your hand! I was fiercely independent, you were my chauffeur, period. You pouted because I wouldn't let you come in to the office with me, left you sitting in the waiting room, explaining you were a family friend who drove me because I was new to the city. Moving on.
When we decided to live together we moved back to my hometown. You wanted a line of demarcation between that life and our life. What a line it was! The first beer you had gave you a migraine! That ended your drinking. We were busy putting our home, our family together, bringing Jim to live with us after he graduated grade eight. No more partying. Sending the kids to a Catholic school. We started going to church. I bribed my uncles to take you for a fishing weekend. You were on the phone with me all night! No more weekends with the boys! That rainy day after you dropped the kids off at school, we raced each other back up the stairs to bed and you held me close and said, "You've been divorced for awhile, why don't we go get a marriage license?" We did. Getting married December 20 because it was the only day I had enough staff coverage to actually take a day off to get married! Getting married again, in church on Holy Wednesday the following year. Continually having our marriage blessed every time you got a priest for more than five minutes alone! How many times did we say "I do"? I lost count! I called you "my marrying fool"! We were fools for each other. We loved each other so much! We were always saying, and showing our love.
We raised our family. We became Grandparents. You loved us well! Each and every one of us. And we loved you.
The final year. You had cancer. We did all we could to stop it until we had to face the fact that nothing was working. We told the kids in the Fall. We spent every second of every day together. I went to work with you. I became your voice when you could no longer speak out loud. You whispered in my ear, I spoke your words. We laughed, we loved! We prepared for you to die at home. It was just you and I ... no strangers came into our home to see you weak. The last day, April 30, 2002, you woke up and said you changed your mind. You wanted to see the Doctor. Our middle child dropped by, you had her drive us, the first time you didn't drive yourself. We spent all day together, talking, laughing, you wouldn't let me call anyone. You sent our daughter home for supper and asked her to call everyone. As soon as she left, you wanted to lay down. We held hands, said I love you a few more times. You left. We never did say "Good Bye"
Good Bye My Love. I have finally let you go. It has not been easy ... but I am okay. You will always have a special piece of my heart ... you loved me well. I laugh and I sing and I will love again. Thank you for showing me how.