My Nandue to isues within the family i wasnt allowed to see my nan but i knew were she lived and my uncle took me to see her often, as soon as i was old enough i used to walk to hers to visit her 3 or 4 times a week, we kept it our secret, between me, my nan and my uncle. me and my nan got on so well and i shared everything with her as she did with me, she was my idol and i always looked up to her.
i was closer to her than my parents, i couldnt go to my parents about being bullied because they made jokes and said i should just stick up for myself so i always went to my nan.
as the years went on me and my parents grew apart but i always stayed close to my nan.
i moved away in 2007 but i always kept close phone contact to my nan and saw her as often as i could, in 2009 she was diagnosed with osophogus(sp) cancer, luckily she survived it and we thought her battle with cancer was over but in november 2011 she was diagnosed with very aggresive lung cancer and she only lived 2 weeks from her diagnosis and she had to spend that in hospital - this is were my world has fallen apart, the one person i used to go to, the one person apart from my husband i really care about and the one person who knows all of my secrets, the one person i got on with compleatly and the one person i used to speak to all the time had gone.
we share so many great memories and now i realise that she is now out of my life, she is no longer her, i miss her so much, i feel so usless because there was nothing i could do to make her better, i wish i could. if i could have one wish it wouldnt be to have loads of money, to live forever etc it would be for my nan to be back here and healthy.
some days i forget she is gone and then i try and call her to realise there is no longer that voice at the end.
i will always miss her but i will never forget the memories we have together, she will always be in my heart x