Unsaid...unspoken

" I had written you letters.... deleted them....I had written you a second poem ...deleted it... I have unsaid feelings written down... deleted too.  I don't know when will I ever get the guts to tell you all that I feel inside.  I was told at times it is healthy to write down my own feelings...read them over and over again...dont' send it in case they caused any heartache.  There are a couple of times..it works.  I had no regrets not sending them.

I love you babe... I believe I always will but we both know happiness is too far away..and we will never get there.  As much as I wanted to seal our love with a band of gold...the reality is..it aint gonna happen so I can only love you as what you are ...and hope one day someone out there will give me his love completely and not just the crumbs.

I know you can't love me any better and I am so afraid to ask for more.... worrying that you will go away even further?  All these while when I feel lonely..I can only keep quiet and blame myself for loving you more than I should.  You belong to her... you are hers.. what rights do I have to love another woman's man?  I can only accept the balance of love and affection you can give... hoping it will never get any lesser.

I used to have half of your time...but since you are far away now...I had lesser than half.  I noticed life for you carries on forgetting I still love you... and I still exist ?  What happen to the 'Text me when you arrived' and you said 'I will' ?

Eternal Eternal
31-35, F
2 Responses Mar 7, 2010

Hugs.

I feel your sadness in every word. How many times I've heard the words ... the heart wants who the heart wants. Unfortunately, my heart is neither reasonable or logical. I'm not judging at all. I simply think someday you must reach a point where the "crumbs" of someone's love aren't enough. You certainly deserve far more, at least as much as you're willing to give yourself. <br />
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I enjoy your stories for your honesty and willingness to put very difficult emotions into words.