Hate My Former Step Dad

My step dad used to spank me and I hated it!  What I used to almost hate just as much was other people knowing about it.  James became my stepdad a few months before my fifteenth birthday and he spanked me up until I left for college and even once while I was in college and was home for the summer.  My mom isn’t very assertive and she allowed James to discipline me how he saw fit and he definitely took advantage of it.

My stepdad also had two kids from a previous marriage whom he spanked too, but me being the oldest, I always got the worst of it.  On top of that, my step brother and sister never got along with me so it was very much them against me in many situations. 

When James first became my stepdad I already hated him for many reasons, but my hatred only grew throughout the years.  He used to intentionally embarrass me by bringing up my spankings in public.   He would pick me up from a friend’s houses and say things like “Did she behave herself for you? Lately she’s been one step away from getting her bottom spanked at home” 

Things got worse as I got older and rebelled some.  He would spank me on the bare bottom at home and didn’t care if other people saw or heard.  It was like he would intentionally try to make me as embarrassed as possible.  I have so many repressed memories till this day.  My step brother and his friends saw me get spanked on a number of occasions.  It was horrible…not until my mom stepped in and told James not to spank me in front of others did he stop. 

Even then though, if she wasn’t there he would sometimes “forget.”  One of the worst instances was when I was 17.  My mom made me go to a dance with a boy in our neighborhood that went to a different school (we’ll call him Todd).   He was a complete dork, but I never made fun of him or anything, we just never really hung out.  So anyway, after we went to the dance I could tell he had a crush on me and wanted to date me but I told him I thought he was really nice, but I wasn’t interested. 

It became annoying when Todd continued to come around and my stepdad would bring up rules like curfews and mention spankings.  One time I basically told my dad to shut up because I last thing I wanted was someone like James blabbing to other boys in the neighborhood that my stepdad spanked me. 

Well James I guess didn’t like getting shown up and grabbed me by the arm and pulled me over to the back of the couch right in front on Todd.  Then to my absolute horror my stepdad said he was going to spank me right there!  He yanked my skirt up high exposing my panties.  I looked back and saw Todd’s eyes bulging out of his head.  But it didn’t end there, James grabbed the waist band of my panties and said something like “ I’m sorry you have to witness this Todd but my stepdaughter here has earned herself a spanking and I always spank on the bare bottom.  She has a very cute hiney though so I don’t think you’ll mind seeing it and seeing me turn it red!”

And with that he pulled my panties down to my knees right in front of Todd and began spanking me.  It was easily one of the most embarrassing things ever! After a few minutes I broke away and ran out of the room leaving my panties on the floor and my skirt still up in the back.  I could never look Todd in the face again knowing what he saw and I will never forgive my now ex step dad.

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bit123 bit123 22-25, F 14 Responses Mar 10, 2011

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Oh thank God it's not real. Goddamnit you are one good write. You had me there for a second.

I love being spanked


Sad to say you knew the rules and what would be the consequences and you chose to ignore them. Your mom should have butted out and let him teach you respect, self decency and you never ever disrespect father or stepdad, he put food on your table and a roof over your head. You deserved what you got. This is NOT child abuse. If you don't respect your first authority figures you'll never fear consequences or authority. You should kiss the ground he walks on.

Yes, and slaves should be grateful for their masters whips. This IS abuse, the point of these punishments wasn't to punish, but to humiliate and degrade while her stepdad got his fill of as much sadistic behavior as he could get away with. You shouldn't fear authority, people need to learn to stand up for themselves even if it is to an adult or a parent.

Fine it's abuse. That means every father from the beginning of time should be jailed. NOT. You should fear authority, that's what keeps you from doing things that will harm you or anyone else. Soft touches who cry for disobedient disrespectful children are the same ones who are outraged when these same children grow up to be sociopathic killers. Too late to cry then.

If you think she needs the discipline. Then try reading the previous experience before this one. Honestly, it\'s like you don\'t understand her at all, or her feelings

Im glad ur mom kicked ur ex stepdad to curve i can't beileve he did that to u i think his whole family seemed ****** up and ur ex step aunt had no right to spank u either I think ur ex stepfather is manipulative bastard and I hope ur mom cussed him for spanking u in public and I feel bad for the next family he is with because I bet he probably would of went balistic if ur mom spanked his kids but Im glad he's out of your life my stepdad and I have a love hate relationship and I bet ur real dad would of went balistic too if he found out but I'm sorry atleast u never have to see his *** ever again

It doesn´t matter if others know that a 17 year old girl is still beaten up. It was therefore not correct your stepfather ban the mouth, tell him that he should shut up. You earned yourself a spanking for it.

I can understand that it was humiliating for you, but you did your stepfather reprimanded before Todd, that's why you didnt deserve it otherwise, that your stepfather announced to you that he will have to spank you on your bare bottom in the present of Todd.


But it was wrong that your stepdad implied that the boy should get sexual gratification from seeing you bottomless.

I also think that it was sexual abuse as your stepfather let a boy get sexually aroused when he was asked to watch your bare bottom, your naked crotch and your spanking.

It must have been particularly bad for you, to be used as an object of sexual desire, because you've just rejected Todd.

I´m in the same age and get get spanked on my bare bottom too. But My (step)father never used me as an object of sexual desire.

As a victim of child abuse you need to forgive just for yourself to move on take back you power by allowing him to control your emontion you are allowing to win again which we do not want that. good luck

@Becky and @Bit, I'm definitely feel lke I'm prying (from 3,000 miles away) but I'm transfixed by your shared experiences and sort of compelled to read. I hope in some way it's been good for y'all writing these experiences down. I have nothing comparable to share. You both write well. I'm not clear about 2 things. Are you both in favour of corporal punishment by (non-abusive and loving) parents of their offspring? What's your view of when, ie at what age, this corporal punishment should stop.

Hi, Bit,

Sorry I forgot to get back to you. Will post another reply to you soon.

Yes, you're right. I was embarrassed that my stepdad, brother and his friend saw me in that g-string thong bikini. Not that it stayed on very long. Some people have wondered if I was so embarrassed, then why would I wear it to the lake? Well, there's a difference between immediate family seeing you like that unexpectedly in your house and just your friends or strangers seeing you in an appropriate setting (the lake).

Yes, Colleen knew her boys saw me basically because they walked right on in as she was giving me the sponge bath.

One them even grinned as she scolded him, ''But I just wanted to see if Becky was o.k.''

Causing her to quickly answer without realizing what she was actually saying, ''Well, you saw her. Now out!'' (though the boy caught the unintended pun and giggled)

Colleen then asked Vaughn (the 12-year old) to go downstairs and warm up a couple of bath towels in the clothes dryer and bring them back upstairs to her.

I don't know how much of me Colleen's husband later saw as I laid on the bed with the rectal thermometer up my butt. But I could hear them talking right outside the partially opened guest bedroom door. I would think he probably averted his eyes even if he could have otherwise saw me. But what I did not know was that both boys were soon at the foot of the bed, having come in the bedroom from the adjoining bathroom, the older boy using the excuse when their mom walked back in that he was just bringing up the warm towels from the clothes dryer downstairs his mom requested.

(thanks for your comments, too, Paddy)

This is just abuse. There is a place in some hell - in this life or the next - for this sort of bullying. My sympathy to you and BeckyRomero but I sense neither of have been 'broken' by it so congrats on having that inner strength. And thanks for sharing here on EP.

Wow, truly what an ******* stepdad! Just like mine! Thanks for sharing your experiences, it makes feel good to know I wasn’t alone in my also miserable stepfather relationship. That whole weekend of yours though seemed terrible!

First, you’re very brave to have been willing to wear a thong in public at that age. I still am not quite brave enough to do that. I imagine it was one of those situations where you would have worn the bikini to the beach and been with your friend’s so you wouldn’t have cared about having your bum cheeks exposed to them. But you probably didn’t want your stepdad or brother and friend so see you wearing that. Am I right?

That spanking though was awful. What a ***** move of your step dad to untie your bikini. I mean your butt was already bare! And then to untie your top too! That’s so cruel! I would have been mortified to have had to babysit Vaughn later knowing that he got an eyeful!

However, as bad as all that sounds your experiences getting taken care of while sick, sounds extremely embarrassing as well. I know how terrible it is to be standing there naked trying to get clean and then getting spied on. Did Colleen know the boys peeked at you? Or did her husband see you? I’ll have to tell my experience in a separate story. Thanks again for sharing. Also, I cringe to think about how your step dad “finished what he started” the next weekend!

Hi, Bit,

The two jackasses must have been separated at birth, your EX-stepdad and my EX-stepdad.

This is a little long, but writing about it all and being able to talk about it on EP has been a catharsis for me. I was still trying to decide how to best approach it all, on the blog, a series of experiences, when I got into that argument with that guy ''markintex''. So, it's sort of all come out piecemeal.

I wasn't initially going to be as detailed, but I already chatted about it and made the decision to talk about it all openly - finally getting around to my New Year's Resolution. So what the hell. It's his shame, not mine, for humiliating me.

That weekend I mentioned above basically starting a string of embarrassments, a domino effect if you will. Unknown to me at the time, my mother was already in the process of discussing a divorce with an attorney. In a way, my stepdad spanking me became a catalyst for her speeding up the process. I suppose in that sense, the spankings helped bring about a better situation. But it was hell for a while.

My stepdad also bad-mouthed us constantly to his family, especially with regards to his brother's kids. It was also why couldn't we be like them, that we were spoiled, constant name calling, berating and belittling. His brother's family wasn't too bad, but it was embarrassing being around them knowing every poor grade at school, every little thing, was gossiped to them.

There was also plenty of arguing between him and my mom; I think part of it was he resented that she made more money, that she tried to stick up for us when he wanted to spank us (which saved me from a lot of spankings) and that he simply had a miserable disposition.

Anyway, one day back in 2002, I had put on and was showing my mom a new g-string tie thong bikini that I had bought at the mall the day before and which I intended to wear at a beach outing the following weekend with my girlfriends. She was fine with it. My older brother was away with friends, checking out his new college campus.

My stepdad, my younger brother Matt (who had just graduated 8th grade) and his friend Vaughn (the boy who I regularly babysat, along with his four younger siblings), who was 12, had gone out. I had already been babysitting Vaughn, his younger brother and three younger sisters for several years. Their mom was a close friend of my mom's from college. Colleen was about 40 at the time, the same age as my mom back then. Ironically, Colleen had babysat me when I was younger.

Despite having a cold, I had promised Vaughn's parents that the next night I would babysit their kids I had done so for about three years when needed. But I just dreaded the thought of even facing the kid again after him seeing me spanked and exposed. But my mom had a meeting the next night and my younger brother Matt was going out with friends to the movies. I sure didn't want to be around in our house alone with my stepdad after what had transpired, since he'd be sure to pick on me some more. So I reluctantly kept my promise to babysit despite the added embarrassment that ended up coming with it.

Plus, Colleen is great. In fact, much to her kids' amusement, she liked to note the irony of how when I was a baby she used to change my diapers and now here I was babysitting her kids, giving them their baths and so on. Unfortunately by the time that weekend was over they had a lot more to be amused about.

When my real dad died she was very supportive for my mom in a difficult time. Later, when my mom began dating again and eventually married my stepdad, Colleen babysat me, even after her own kids were born.

Her husband, a Englishman with a Roger Moore-like voice and good looks too, traveled a lot for work. So it was not unusual for me to watch their kids for a few hours, a whole evening or, in summertime with school out, even overnight. They have a big house and a great rec room. On hot days, Colleen sometimes asked me to take the kids to the local pool (they didn't have one in their yard). On cold winters nights, it might be popcorn and TV, playing Monopoly or helping them with homework.

The kids themselves were pretty much well-behaved. At least with me. They liked to tell me that I was their favorite babysitter (also the most frequent one), which was so sweet. Vaughn was the oldest at 12. His brother Cameron was seven. The three girls, Courtney, Jessica and Sabrina, were 10, 8 and 5 at the time.

Vaughn was a little wild at times and could get his younger siblings going to. But sometimes it would be the girls teasing their brothers. But in all seriousness if most kids behaved like they all did most of the time, their parents would be pleased.

As for me, I was never what you would call a 'strict' or 'mean' babysitter, not one who would order kids to bed just so I could talk on the phone with my boyfriend, watch TV or whatever. Spanking another parent's kid was out of the question, although I would sometimes (though rarely) resort to the dreaded 'I will call your parents' if you don't behave line, though I never had a problem with Colleen's kids.

I think it helped that I was able to project at least some aura of authority over them that they respected, much like an older cousin would have done. As a result, they were never out of control. Unfortunately, after Vaughn had witnessed me exposed and spanked over my stepdad's lap the day before I was to babysit them again, he knew my shame was a weakness that could be exploited - and exploited it was.

Still, despite my embarrassment from the spanking, I was eager to get out of the house the next day. My mom wasn't going to be home that evening and I didn't want to be around my stepdad after what had transpired the day before over my thong bikini. Although I was already coming down with a cold and didn't feel good, I also didn't want to let Colleen and her husband down. They really need me to babysit that night, which I was told might be an overnighter if they got back too late from a wedding they were attending.

I had a good guess that Colleen had heard some of the details of my spanking from Vaughn. When after I arrived at the house she asked - without mentioning the spanking - how I was in a very gentle, concerned way. Of course, Vaughn's brother and sisters knew too; I found that out when a giggling Cameron asked me if my butt was still red.

Before Colleen and her husband even left, I got another hint of what kind of an usual unruly afternoon and evening it would when Vaughn and his 8-year old sister began fighting, ending with him swatting Jessica on her butt, saying if she didn't behave that night that their father would spank her like my stepdad spanked me. (Ironically, the girl later made Vaughn pay for that remark in a most embarrassing way at bath/bedtime). He then pushed the pouting girl onto the couch but earned a swat on his own behind from his mom in the process.

The whole weekend was horrible, which I blame on my stepdad. If he hadn't been such a miserable jackass, Vaughn would have never seen me exposed and spanked, wouldn't have gotten his younger brother and sisters all riled up about it that weekend and I likely would have avoided additional embarrassment.

As it was, I ended up feeling like a five-year old by the time that weekend was over. I wound up getting quite sick that first night at their house, after having accidentally pushed into a bathtub full of water while trying to break up a fight between the two boys when the 7-year old was getting ready for his bath.

After sitting in my soaked clothes the rest of the evening, my cold got worse and I came down with the chills bad and with a high fever. As soon as Colleen and her husband got back from the wedding and reception they had attended, the first thing she did was to get me out of my wet clothes and sponge bathe me to bring my temperature down. As if the peeking-in by the boys into the bathroom as I stood in the bathtub as Colleen sponge-bathed me wasn't embarrassing enough, Colleen couldn't find the regular thermometer to take my temperature. She did have a quite different one, a certain type of one she used when her kids were babies. (God, I'm blushing just thinking and recalling that as I write this.)

Colleen's husband had to get ready to head out to the airport for a unexpected early departure for a business trip and Colleen was going to drive to a 24-hour pharmacy to try to find and buy a regular oral thermometer and save me from the embarrassment (the only other choices, having Colleen take me, with the 5 kids in tow, to the emergency room at the hospital or driving me home and letting my stepdad deal with me were dismissed without giving a second thought). I was already feeling quite badly that I had inconvenienced them by being sick and I certainly didn't want her going out past midnight alone to some store. And since knowing my temperature was imperative... Well, as I said, she had diapered me when I was a baby, so... I just wish the boys didn't peek again when she left the guest bedroom for a few minutes to talk with her husband as I laid on the bed naked with my bottom up and the rectal thermometer sticking out of my butt hole.

When school started up in the fall, Vaughn embarrassed me further one day in front of his friends (including two other kids I babysat) when I went to pick up him, his brothers and sisters up for their mom, the other kids finding out all the embarrassing details.

He was only 12 at the time and was a pretty decent kid so he wasn't being intentionally cruel or anything. Plus, at that age for a boy to see his 16-year old female babysitter in very compromising positions... let's just say I had pretty much got ''owned.''

When he graduated high school a few years ago, we were invited to the party his parents had at their house. Vaughn came up to me and said he just wanted to apologize to me for being a jerk and for embarrassing me back then, which I thought was sweet for him to say.

OK, that pretty much answers your ''did the boy ever tease me'' question.

Now, back to my spanking of the day before.

As I stood wearing the bikini, my mom and I starting talking in the kitchen and didn't realize my stepdad, my younger brother Matt and Vaughn had returned. As I thought my mom left out the back door to the driveway, (she came back in to use the bathroom and get something), I heading out from the kitchen to go upstairs to change out of the bikini. That's when my stepdad saw me. That alone was embarrassing, Matt and Vaughn giggling when I blushed.

My stepdad, however, was furious with me. He started yelling at me, ''What the f--- are you wearing?''

I told him as matter-of-factly, it was a new thong bikini I had bought to wear to the beach the following weekend.

He said, ''Like hell you will" and proceeded to order me to get upstairs and change. I told him, yes, I was going to change, but that's what I would be wearing to the beach. He said no "STEPdaughter" of his was going to be walking around looking like a two-bit ********. I lashed right back, saying no "STEPfather" of mine was going to tell me how I could dress. And it basically got worse from there. We continued arguing and shouting at each other and then he grabbed me and put me over his knee, saying by the time he was done I ''wouldn't want any guys looking at my bare ***.''

I can still visualize my brother's face, smirking, as I struggled over my stepdad's lap, basically trying to let myself fall off his lap to avoid the spanking, when his first hard slap hit more of my thigh than my butt and I did indeed almost fell off his lap.

Pulling me up again, he then untied my string bikini bottoms and pulled down the back portion of it, out of my butt crack and down below my bottom. Out of fear if I fell off his lap, my bottoms would fall off completely, I changed strategies.

Instead, I reached around my back with both my hands, interfering with his attempts to spank me. He kept ordering me to put down my hands, but I refused. He grabbed my right hand with his and held it behind my back. So I kicked up my feet as he continued to spank me. Then he yelled that if I kept insisting on trying to block his slaps with my left arm and hand, he'd give them something to do. So, without warning, he yanked hard on the string of my bikini top, undoing it. As it fell to the floor, my brother's friend Vaughn giggled at my exposure. I gasped and then pulled my left arm back from behind me, trying to cover my exposed breasts as best I could, my right arm still being held behind my back.

He then placed his left leg over mine, holding then down. Resigning myself to the inevitable, I then winced in pain as one hard slap after another crashed down on my bare bottom. I was soon crying, begging him to stop to no avail and only the unexpected intervention of my mom, who thankfully heard me crying when she had come back into the house, avoided a much more prolonged spanking. Still, my butt was really stinging from his repeated slaps.

My mom and stepdad started arguing, her telling him to stop spanking. He responded that I was disrespectful and nothing but a "spoiled brat" and he didn't want me going to the beach looking like a "****" and embarrassing him. I was still over his lap as they argued for another minute or so, though he had stopped swatting me.

Then he slapped me one more time on my bare bottom, one that really stung, and then he let go of my right arm, warning me if I ever wore that "slutty outfit" again, he'd finish what he started. (yes, unfortunately, he was a man of his word the following weekend.)

I heard my mom telling my brother something like, "Matt, go upstairs into Becky's bedroom and grab her green dress, the one she had on yesterday. It should be hanging on the door."

As I practically fell off my stepdad's lap and then stood up, I threw my hands behind me, holding and rubbing my bottom in pain for more than a few seconds, tears rolling down my cheeks, holding the untied strings of one side of my bikini bottoms. Then I froze, opened and blinked my eyes clear of the tears. Sure enough, to my horror, Matt's friend Vaughn was still in the room, sitting on a couch a few feet away in front of me with a wide grin on his face. I gasped, threw my arms in front of my breasts and turned away from him, facing the wall in humiliation.

As my mom and stepdad continued to argue, her telling him that lots of teenage girls wear thong bottoms to the beach nowadays, him telling her that he's seen strippers dressed more modestly than me. Then from behind my back I heard Matt snickering as he was probably handing my dress to my mom.

My mom walked over, picked up my bikini top from the floor and pulled my bottoms back up into place and tied the strings. Then she touched me on my shoulder and led me out of the room as I held my arms in front of my breasts and into the kitchen where I put on the dress and my shoes. She then took me out with her to go shopping, but my butt was so sore I couldn't even sit in the car, laying down across the back seat. I even took my thong bottoms off.

We first went to a park, where we got out of the car and just slowly walked or stood, since I still couldn't sit comfortably. I told my mom how much I hated my stepdad and so on. My mom said she didn't think there was anything wrong with the swimsuit, but that he was stubborn and I shouldn't provoke him. I finally blurted out what I had been holding back for years: "Why don't you divorce him?" Little did I know at that time she was already taking steps to do so. We talked about my real dad, how much he loved me when I was a baby, how his death effected her, how things would have been different had he lived. We must have talked for a couple hours, crying, laughing, sometimes just staring at the birds and flowers. By then I was able to sit in the car and we went shopping. When we got home, I avoided my stepdad the rest of the evening, not to mention my brother and his friend Vaughn. Of course there was never an apology from my stepdad for humiliating me. He felt that just went with the territory. If anything he felt I had gotten away with not being punished as severely as he thought I deserved.

YES! “EX” stepdad does sound nice! I can’t express enough how happy I was when my mom and him divorced. James really was a source of several of my most mortifying moments.

I think you are totally right about James. I think he got some twisted satisfaction out of embarrassing me and knowing that Todd would enjoy seeing me bared was too good to pass up. There were other instances where James did stuff like that too. I might have to post those stories when I get some more time. Venting about James and his cruelness does seem to make me feel better about myself.

Anyway, your stepdad seems like a real winner too, LOL. But seriously, I feel so bad for you for what happened at that barbeque. I also feel terrible for your poor brother. I too know what it feels like to be exposed in front of boys. It can be truly humiliating. You are very right about being lucky you weren’t in your swimsuit. I know from experience how easy it can be for a pair of bikini bottoms to get pulled down!

Another terrible thing about having James as my step dad was that I had to be associated with his side of the family for many years. At family gatherings, James would often talk about how his kids were so good but how I was such a ”spoiled brat.” He basically turned them all against me so whenever I had to stay with members of that side of the family, they would always take any opportunity to “teach me a lesson” and it was always with James’ blessing. I became the outcast and whenever some kind of situation arose spanking me was usually a simple solution.

I also saw that your step dad spanked you in front of a boy that you babysat for. That’s terrible and so embarrassing! Did the boy ever tease you? I would feel like the boy would never respect me as a babysitter after witnessing that. If you ever feel up to it, you should share your experience. I know you will get a sympathetic ear from me.

''EX'' stepdad does have a nice ring to it, doesn't it? But even that title is too good for ******** like them. I don't blame you for not forgiving him. I wouldn't either.

Although my butt was bared more than once by my stepdad in front of others, at least there wasn't the implied sexual humiliation you suffered though. Not that being exposed and spanked wasn't humiliating enough. But your stepdad implied that the boy would get sexual gratification from seeing you bottomless. It could certainly be argued that's more than just abuse, but sexual abuse.

My real dad was killed by a drunk-driver before I turned 3. My younger brother was just a baby at the time. My mom met my stepdad not long after and they got married in 1990; I was 4 at the time.

My older brother escaped most of the wrath from our stepdad, I think because he was always the bookworm of the three of us. He got the straight A's, was involved in sports after school and such. But my younger brother didn't get as good grades and his behavior wasn't always the best. I was in the middle, literally. Got in trouble sometimes, my grades fluctuated, but I think me being a girl is what saved my butt, literally, when I was younger.

He had threatened to spank me numerous times while I was growing up, I was turned over his knee and my bottom was bared more than once when I was younger (including as a teenager) and for whatever reasons only escaped being hit usually by the interventions of my mom or other relatives; another time it was by a guest at 4th of July weekend barbecue at his brother's house when I was 13 - after he had spanked my brother's bare butt and had already bared and was about to spank mine.

My younger brother, Matt, and I started fighting and arguing about something and were running around and our stepdad told us to stop or we'd get spanked right in front of everyone. But we didn't stop and ended up tipping over a potted plant, breaking it and he called us over. We didn't immediately listen, so he called us again, even more sternly. When we approached, he grabbed me first while yelling at Matt. But Matt talked back so he let me go for the moment and grabbed Matt, as I stood there. He then grabbed Matt's shorts and briefs, yanking them both down to his knees at the same time, spun him around and then spanked him about 10 times on his bare butt, as Matt cried and tried to pull his t-shirt down in front of himself since my stepdad's young nieces were standing there and giggling at Matt.

When he was done with Matt, who ran off to a corner of the yard, embarrassed and crying, I was next. Only I didn't have a long t-shirt on to try to yank down lower. Just a tank top that exposed my midriff. My stepdad was already upset at me that my mom let me wear that, along with shorts, and now I was wishing I had worn a longer top.

He then made me turn around (my back toward him) as he placed his fingers inside my shorts and panties to pull them both down in one swoop like he did to Matt. As I prepared for the inevitable, I remember looking down at the ground to avoid eye contact with his two teenage nephews who were standing there grinning, as well as a young couple sitting nearby and several other of my stepdad's relatives.

But my shorts were on too tight. So my stepdad yelled and swore at me to turn around. When I did, he started undoing the snap and zipper on my shorts and they were soon down at my knees. Then he spun me around by my hips and grabbed the sides of my panties, as his two teenage nephews smirked. As he pulled them down off my hips, lowering them inside-out over my thighs, another guest walked over and told him that his brother needed help in the house with something (turns out, his brother had burnt the meat and needed my stepdad to run to the store). I was told, ''I'll deal with you later.'' (luckily, my mom intervened when we got home) As soon as he walked away, after slapping me once on my thigh instead of my butt as I turned, I pulled up my panties and shorts and ran off to find my mom.

That was one time I had certainly been misbehaving just as bad as Matt. But I was spared more embarrassment that day simply by luck.

I had brought a bathing suit that day to change into later, as my stepdad's brother and his wife had a pool. Just as well that I hadn't though. My stepdad obviously wouldn't have had any problem pulling my bikinis bottoms down! Of course after what had happened, I was too embarrassed to hang out with my stepdad's nephews or anyone else near the pool and instead stuck close to my mom the rest of the day. They had seen my panties pulled down far enough that I was almost fully exposed down there, so eye contact with them after that was most certainly out of the question.

But after the divorce, I would feel guilty about how that day transpired. By all rights, I should have felt the same shame Matt felt, standing there bottomless and being spanked, as it would have made me understood at the time how Matt felt, instead of me thinking I had ''gotten away with it'' and at the time not really feeling sorry for Matt that he was embarrassed since we had been arguing. I really was at that point still insensitive to what Matt had been going through for years. But I'm sure I wouldn't have been as insensitive if I had gone home that day as red-faced and red-bottomed as he was.

All things considered though and with the benefit of hindsight given everything that happened in the four years after that with the divorce and all, I now really wish that my stepdad had not been interrupted and instead had continued and finished pulling my panties down all the way and then gave me a good hard spanking just like he did Matt right in front of everyone if for no other reason than his family and their friends would have seen what a complete and total rotten ******* he was instead of them mostly feeling sorry for him during the divorce.

My stepdad increasingly got on my case once I was in high school, disapproving of how I dressed, insulting me and often embarrassing me in front of my friends if he didn't like what I was wearing. Not to mention just the whole idea of me dating guys.

Plus, my stepdad would do nothing but complain about everything. He'd ***** about the toast not being dark enough, the coffee to weak. Something was always not perfect enough for him. One weekend when I was 16 and my mom was out of town and I was fixing breakfast for him and my brothers, I got so sick of his complaining I told him, 'then fix breakfast yourself.' He was already angry at Matt from the day before for breaking a neighbor's window with a baseball. So that got me a slap across the face.

When I answered back with a 'what the **** was that for?', he suddenly grabbed and pulled me over his knee, grabbed the inside back of my panties and jeans and started yanking them down. I let out a stream of frantic, desperate 'I'm sorrys' and he stopped with them halfways down off my butt, I think more so because my jeans were so tight than for my pleas.

As I stood up, he got off the chair and walked to the other side of the kitchen. My brother Bobby smirked and said, 'Shaving it for the new boyfriend, Becky?' just as I heard my stepdad said something about the eggs.

I yelled, 'shut up' and yanked my panties up the rest of the way so fast that my jeans slide down off my thighs.

Our stepdad then turned around and said, "What did you say?'

I said 'nothing' which led him to think all the more I had back-talked to him. But Bobby spoke up and said he was just teasing me about my jeans falling down (which I had to unfasten in order to pull back up).

About nine months later, there was no stopping him. I got it good - and it was far more embarrassing - as it happened in front of both my younger brother and his friend (a then 12-year old boy who I frequently babysat along with the boy's younger siblings).

My mom was already pretty much fed up with him and, unknown to me at the time, was already talking to a divorce attorney. A lot still went on after that (including more spankings), even during the divorce and during the ordered visitation periods he initially was awarded, but by 2003 it was all over with and my mom was awarded full custody.