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Embarrassed. Shamed. Degraded. Demeaned. Disgraced. Humiliated. Mortified. The Feelings Of A Teenage Girl Receiving Bare Bottom Spankings From Her Stepdad.



--- By Becky Romero ---

Embarrassed. Shamed. Degraded. Demeaned. Disgraced. Humiliated. Mortified.

That's how I felt nine years ago as a 16-year old teenager from having my bare bottom spanked by my stepdad on more than one occasion.

And that doesn't even get into the other emotions it fed: anger, guilt, hate...

But from having it happen first in front of my younger brother and his 12-year old playmate (a boy I regularly babysat - making those feelings intensify greatly) to the spankings I got a week later on full display in front of not only my younger brother (who was present the whole time) but also in front of my older brother, his girlfriend and two friends of theirs from college who unexpectedly walked into the house during my punishment, my humiliation and shame complete, I also felt new emotions:

Resignation, helplessness and total submission.

As that evening's spanking began, I was told from that now on, that is how I would be punished: bared from the waist down and spanked regardless of who was in the room - this time it was my younger brother again. And if I continued to reach back with my hands to block the swats, my stepdad would continue to unhook or simply remove my bra each time too (as he had last week and that night), essentially giving me a choice whether to suffer further shame or be compliant and accept my punishment.

As one vicious bare-hand slap after another that night rained down on my bare bottom, I cried and pleaded for mercy that still makes be ashamed to this day for not being stronger and more defiant.

With tears rolling down my cheeks I promised and acknowledged and agreed that I understood how I'd be spanked from that day on and that I knew I'd be spanked each weekend for the next month for my ''poor behavior'' and ''disrespect.''

With each demanding question put to me I blubbered out barely coherent answers:

"Are you going to behave from now on?" - yes

"You promise?" - yes

"Are you going to start showing me respect?" - yes

"You promise?" - yes

"Are you going to start dressing properly?" - yes

"I didn't hear you?" - yes

"You promise?" - yes

"Are you ever going to run out of the house again?" - no

"You promise?" - yes

"Are you going to stop talking back?" - yes

"You promise?" - yes

"And what will happen if you do, or if you don't listen or behave?" - I get a spanking.

"What kind of spanking?" - a... a bare bottom spanking.

"And if you don't behave while being spanked?'' - my top gets removed.

"What about your bra?'' - it gets removed too

"I didn't understand you. What did you say?" - my bra gets removed too

"Are you going to behave from now on?" - yes

"You promise?" - yes

Resignation, helplessness and total submission indeed.

Regardless of the embarrassment, the stinging to my bottom was just too much and so I let my unhooked bra fall to the floor as I grabbed the lower part of the legs of the chair with my hands to help brace myself, my younger brother having already seen me essentially spanked twice this way before: naked. (As he had done before my stepdad had unhooked my bra that night, figuring that would keep my hands busy trying to hold it up against my breasts than reaching back attempting to block the swats.)

Between my stepdad's commands, me crying, Matt watching and my mom in the shower upstairs, no one it seems heard the doorbell.

The first indication that others were behind me was upon hearing a guy's voice exclaim, ''Whoa! What the ****?! Sweeeeeet!''

An unfamiliar female voice then began giggling.

Then I heard a familiar snort - it was coming from my older brother, Bobby.

And I quickly recognized his girlfriend (now wife) Kris' voice from her, ''Oh my God!''

My stepdad stopped only momentarily, before addressing Bobby: ''This is what your sister gets for running around the neighborhood half-naked. Isn't that right, Becky?"

"Well? Answer me! Well?'' he continued.

I blubbered out a barely coherent string of ''yesses'' and could only imagine what they all must of thought of my stepdad's twisting of what had really happened that day.

Then I heard the other female say, ''Come on, Cory. Let's go and wait in the car for Kris.'' (As I later found out, the four of them had double-dated and were dropping Bobby off at home; Bobby was starting college that fall.)

''I said, 'Let's go!''' she said again, even as she giggled.

Then my mom came downstairs from her shower, yelling at my stepdad as the couple who were friends of my older brother and his girlfriend (now wife) made a hasty exit. I could hear the guy telling his girlfriend, ''Did you see the way her **** were bouncing?'', both of them giggling as they closed the door on their way outside.

Embarrassed, shamed, degraded, demeaned, disgrace, humiliated, mortified indeed.

Then as I, in retrospect, made the poor decision to answer back to the way my stepdad ''explained'' to my older brother and his girlfriend why I was being punished, my bare bottom received several more slaps for my trouble - until my mom demanding that he stop and that I stand up.

When I did, I could do nothing but stand there, my bare bottom most certainly a bright cherry red and on fire as if stung by a hive of bees from that evening's spanking and an earlier one late that afternoon. I could not help rubbing it while indifferent to my nakedness in front of my mom, my stepdad, my two brothers and my older brother's girlfriend.

As I stood there, my parents arguing, my younger brother held up and dangled my bra in front of me, grinning. I snatched it from his hands before flinging it across the room in anger - my shame and humiliation already complete.

As my parents continued arguing, my older brother Bobby stared at me, a shocked expression on his face of both disbelief but also disapproval from what my stepdad was saying about my behavior that day.

My stepdad continued, ''Who knows? Maybe she was flashing truckers on the way back home.''

I protested: ''I did not. I had the towel wrapped around me and...''

But he cut me off and made fun of me saying, ''Hear that? But she had a ''TOWEL on''! If that's the way she wants to dress in public, then she has no right to complain about being spanked this way. She already knows that from now on, when she gets spanked it will be on her bare ***. Isn't that right, Becky?''

I nodded, then mouthed a ''yes'' when ordered to speak up and answered "on my bare bottom" when questioned as to how I'd be spanked any time it was felt I needed a spanking.

My mom began arguing again, ''I said that's enough..."

I heard my dad saying something like ''That's right. On her bare ***... don't care what her brothers see...

As my mom was saying, ''I don't want you spanking her anymore.''

Matt started to say something. Then my mom added, ''And that goes for Matt, too.

My stepdad countered and said something like, ''Why? Because now that Miss Spoiled Tart here sheds a few tears? You never demanded I stop spanking him. Why should she be treated any differently? Maybe a sore *** and a little humiliation each week will finally teach her to behave.''

"Becky, should you be treated any differently than Matt? Is that fair?'' he asked.

"No," I replied.

"So if he gets spanked for misbehaving or talking back, how should you be spanked?"

"The same. On my bare bottom," I answered, my head down in shame.

"When?" he asked.

"Every time I don't listen," I replied.

He continued arguing with my mom: ''I've had it with her attitude, her disrespect and her dressing like a hooker. From now on, that's the way it's going to be until she goes off to college and I don't give a **** how embarrassed she says she is. If she's embarrassed naked and bare-assed being spanked over her father's lap, if she's embarrassed with her brothers seeing her like that, then she can start behaving herself and watching her sassy mouth. Otherwise...''

At that point I just lost it. Not over my humiliation, my nakedness and the twisting of the truth as to what had happened that day. Not over the spanking

With my hands on my hips, I turned to face him and yelled back, ''You're NOT my father. My father's DEAD. Stop calling yourself that, you don't know the meaning of the word, you son of a *****! I HATE you! Do you hear me? I HATE YOU!''

There was quite a hush in the room and I just sort of stood there, then began trembling, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

Kris, Bobby's girlfriend, left the room for a moment and walked in the kitchen, returning with an apron for me to drape around myself. As she handed it to me it fell to the floor; I didn't bother picking it up.

My mom said, ''Becky, why don't you go upstairs and put something on?''

My stepdad replied, ''After that outburst? You're going to let her get away and go unpunished for that? Apparently two spankings today weren't enough.''

At that point, I outstretched both arms away from myself and yelled back at my mom:

"Put something on? What for? You heard him. From now on, why should I bother wearing anything around the house since this is how I'm going to be spanked?''

I stood like that for at least ten seconds or so, everyone staring at me, until finally an incredible sense of shame came over me. I threw my hands across my boobs and ***** and went running off into the living and flung myself onto the couch. There I lay crying, burying my head into the pillows for I'm not sure how long. Then I felt Kris' hands caressing my shoulders.

A robe in her hand, she whispered to me that my mom wanted me to spend the night at my best friend's house, that hers and Bobby's friends were still out front in their car all that time waiting to drive her home and that they'd drop me off, Kris having already called my girlfriend that I'd soon be coming over.

As I stood up, putting on the robe, my mom walked over. She hugged and kissed me and told me that everything was going to be alright. That she was sorry she didn't act sooner. She handed me a small overnight bag that she had Kris hastily pack for me and walked out of the room, saying she'd see me in the morning. As Kris led me out the door, I didn't look back into the dining room where I could hear my stepdad still arguing with her but in a much more subdued tone. My mom had told him she was filing for divorce.

But there were to be many more spankings, more humiliation and more shame to come as the divorce progressed.

For years afterward, I was in denial. Whenever in conversation if asked had I ever been spanked by my parents, I'd deny it. Sure, I'd sometimes acknowledge that my younger brother was spanked while growing up. But not me. And certainly not as a teenager. And never, never, NEVER by my stepdad. He hadn't seen me naked since I was in diapers, I'd reply. Only my family and my closest friends knew the truth. Had guys at my high school knew, I would have never lived it down.

But the embarrassment, shame, degradation and humiliation was still there. It still is. Though I've finally come to terms that at least the shame isn't mine. It's his - for treating me like that.

But even though it has faded with time, the embarrassment and humiliation will always be there.
BeckyRomero BeckyRomero 26-30, F 64 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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how old were u for his last spanking?

I related to this story. I am a 68 year old man. When I was a child growing up in Ireland, I was beaten by my father with a school cane (they were legal in Irish schools back then. I distinctly remember one day after he had stopped striking me with the cane, I screamed at him, "Why don't you just go ahead and kill me!" He had no response. With me there was no overt sexual component, since it happened with all my clothes on, but to be assaulted in that manner by one who is supposed to love you destroyed something in me, and I still struggle with that. My heart goes out to you Becky, because no one deserves to be treated without respect for their dignity as a human being.

good

"good"? What's "good"?

sexuel agression ****** in europa he go to jail

This is clearly sexual assault.

lucky boys got to watch

Anybody who cannot admit this is obviously sexual abuse is unreasonable. Why this gets ignored is because of status quo and fear.

I know how you feel. I am 23 and because of circumstances have to live at home. Home rules apply and mom or dad will spank my bare bottom My aunt also is allowed and she has me totally naked no matter who is there , My aunt has added diaper discipline as well

Yes it will be - as a counselor, i have mature woman finding different ways that they deal with situations like that - as teens. Interesting that the key part of the session that was in your memory is the exposure and humiliation - and nothing about the pain.

Wow. Thankyou for writing this. it has helped me see my fantasies in a different light. He is sick. Maybe I am too for having such thoughts, but mine won't be acted upon. Unless she consents. Thankyou, and please add me, if I didn't make myself out to be too much of a perve.

I am so so sorry this happened to you. Your stepdad sounds like a monster and a sadist. Even though he had a legal right to discipline you he took it way too far. Although I'm not an expert in family law you may have some legal options available to you starting with an IIED claim (intentional infliction of emotional distress).

Cutting children\'s penises is legal in this country. Do you really think she\'s going to get anywhere with that claim, when you can legally take off a child\'s clothes, strap him to a table so he can\'t move, spread his legs and then cut off the most sensitive and nerve riddled part of his penis?

Child abuse will always be disguised under \'\'parental rights\'\' .
If this story is real, which I have a very hard time believing, but if it is, she\'s not going to get anywhere with that claim. You can do pretty much anything you want to kids in this country, and you will get away with it.

God Bless America !

It's true the humiliation of being spanked in front of people lasts for a LONG time....whenever my parents did that to me, often promising, "You'll never forget this spanking Missy...." it's been true.
Also i know the absurd/disturbed feeling U mentioned about "who cares how I'm undressed?" cuz I knew I'd would be bare bottomed or naked for spankings in front of everyone anyways!!!

Very nice story :)

Your story was very moving - the pain really was nothing at the time. The sheer exposure - total shame that others saw you - and you were powerless. Some of the strongest emotions one can have - how has that effected your relationships from the way of trust, need and more?

I don't think it's effected my existing relationships with others as far as trust.

Although I still have lots of resentment towards my stepdad for what he did, I still find myself wresting with the guilt I still feel because of how my younger brother was treated.

Given how he was treated for years, I often sometimes wish I was spanked years earlier than I was and in front of him and his friends just like he was spanked sometimes when I or my girlfriends were around. I think it would have helped me understand how embarrassed and humiliated he often felt if my bare bottom was spanked as often as his was when I was 12, 13, 14 and 15. Though the spankings I did start getting at 16 were quite humiliating, the number of the pales in comparison to the amount he received during all those years when I didn't receive any.

I also regret never having once had the courage to take blame for something he did and therefore get punished in his place. I think if I could somehow change one thing it would have been that -- to have had the courage at 13 or 14 to have taken the blame at least a handful of times for some of the spankings my brother got in front of his friends, even though it would have meant me being embarrassed and spanked on my bare bottom in front of them instead.

That a number of his friends later saw me spanked like that when I was 16 made it far more embarrassing given my older age (and theirs, especially when in front of 12 and 13 year olds who I still babysat at the time). But I only wish those spankings would have served a purpose.

I hope this all makes sense.

what age were u for step dads last spanking? did he always spank u on bare butt???

Yes, he always spanked me bare.

The last time he spanked me was just before my mom was awarded custody during the divorce case. I was 17. This in the fall of 2002.

Thank God for his own stupidy (he got caught by a mediator who had unexpectedly returned to the room when he slapped me hard across the face and made my lip bleed at a hearing for a comment I had made earlier). After that, he was ordered to attend anger management classes in order to keep the mandatory visitations for me and my younger brother in place. He failed to comply and that, thank God, was that.

If not for that one slap, it was likely the shared custody arrangement would have continued until I graduated high school in June 2004, still over a year and a half away from that point.

By that point my feeling was one of total resignation. My mom was unable to stop the humiliating spankings he gave me and with each additional one the shame was so bad that I started to not even look away from anyone who was present. At some point, even the tears began to almost stop flowing. My younger brother said that sometimes I just had a ''weird blank look'' on my face as I stared forward when my panties were yanked down.

dont feel alone my sisters were spanked bare *** front of the family too till age 22

Where in the HELL do you live, where what your stepfather was doing to you and your brother at that time was considered normal ?! Why didn\'t the mother call the police? Why didn\'t your older brother call the police? His girlfriend? Her friends? Where was CPS ? Why didn\'t you call CPS and tell them he touched your vagina, or that he fiddled your brother\'s private parts?

I mean, this is so unbelievable, that all those people would see and know about it, and nobody would do anything.

Where the hell do you live? I\'m sorry but this is very hard to believe.

It sounds like it actually really happened in real life.

Do you even know that spanking is sexual foreplay? That the buttocks are part of the private parts and that they\'re an erogenous zone? And doing that to children is sexual assault and child abuse and doing it to a teenager is just molestation.

I mean, WHERE THE HELL DID THIS HAPPEN !!??

That\'s what child abuse, trauma victims and people with PTSD have. It\'s when the brain locks up.

I mean...reading this is just...in 2002? In America?

It sounds like a story from a 3rd world country...

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If you had children Becky, what form of discipline would you use?

I would hope when I do that I wouldn't use any form of corporal punishment. I think many parents resort to physical punishment out of either having been punished that way themselves or not wanting to take the time to parent with love. Spending more time explaining why the child is wrong for what she or he did instead of punishing them for whatever they did. I don't think it necessarily has to be only one ''form'' of discipline. Might be a combination. Time outs. Restriction of privileges. Also, would be dependent on age. You don't punish a 4-year old by saying they can't go out with their friends. Or tell a teenager they can't watch cartoons for a week. Many pro-spanking parents, unfortunately, think their approach is a one-size fits all.

I don't think I would describe your step-father as 'Pro-spanking' but instead I would say he was a dirty bastard who may have been frustrated by your behaviour and got hard from seeing you naked and undoubtedly got a thrill from seeing your humiliation and your forced obedience. Some young adults may have enjoyed certain aspects of that, but I don't think from what you said that he cared much for your feelings. I suspect that the memories of what he did to you and made you do still form the core of his masturbatory fantasies.

Hi, Ming,

Oh yes, I'm sure he was frustrated by my ''attitude'' and behavior and how I dressed and just about everything. But if he got a ''high'' so to speak out of me being humiliated by him it wasn't from anything sexual. It was because he knew I was shamed and humiliated. He was a f'n control freak anyway.

How sexually repressed do you have to be, to have a fully nude 16 year old girl with her ***** exposed in front of you and not think of it as sexual ? *** slapping is sexual foreplay. The buttocks are an erogenous zone. Slap a grown woman on her clothes and you get sued for sexual harassment, but this...I mean...your story is just so hard to believe, specially for me because I\'m a spanko and your story is straight out of a spanking *****.

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Oh yes, you really cut the mustard here on shame and humiliation, liked it lots thanks

Becky: You knew your dad spaned bare bottom as you have seen your brother spanked bae bottom with underwear down at ankles when he was 13. You saw all of his so hom seeing you spanked should not have been that big a deal. What age did spankings stop for you and stop for your youngest brother. What age was the oldest brother when you last saw him spanked bare bottom?

Are you crazy it's ALWAYS a big deal.
Po

Exactly!

James, I never saw my older brother getting spanked. He got a few, for sure. Just didn't happen when I was around.

As for my younger brother and I, the spankings we were receiving stopped when the judge in the family court said we didn't have to attend visitations anymore with my stepdad because of his refusal to go to anger management therapy after the mediator - by a pure stroke of luck - saw him slap me hard across the face causing my lip to bleed slightly when she unexpectedly returned after a session.

My younger brother had turned 14 by then. I was nearly 17. Obviously the part-summer's worth of spankings I received was far less numerous than my younger brother had received for years. But that didn't mean there weren't hugely embarrassing.

Slapping in the face is pure abuse. A normal spanking even if it is done on bare bottom is not abuse in my opinion.The fact that you and your brother were treated the same I think is fair, but if your step dad was spanking in anger and when extremely anger then that was wrong.

I am sure you would be embarrassed if your step brother seen you spanked at 17 and he was probabloy embarrassed to be spanked in front of you as a 13 and 14 year old who had started puberty. Did your brother ever say anything to you about his spankings and how often did you see him spanked during the small time you were there that summer.

James, I think you misunderstood. This was happening before my mom divorced my stepdad. He was living with us! Over the years, I had seen my younger brother spanked a number of times, yes sometimes with his pants down.

I am not saying I should have been treated differently than my younger brother. In fact, I wish NEITHER of us were spanked, bare bottom or not. I also don't think I deserved the spankings my stepdad gave me. And my younger brother was constantly picked on. Our stepdad treated him horribly!

But try to imagine how embarrassing it was for me - then 16 - on that day being spanked bottomless in front of my kid brother for the first time as well as well as in front of his 12-year old playmate (a boy I regularly babysat!). And then for my stepdad to untie my bikini top and let it fall to the floor because I kept reaching back with my hands to interfere with the spanking.

I know that at first my younger brother thought it was great. He enjoyed seeing me embarrassed. He admitted later to me that at the time he felt I should have been spanked a lot more because he was. I guess from his point of view, he was right. But after he saw me get a couple of spankings he started to feel bad for me.

Of course that was just the first taste of the humiliation I would feel, because within a week, BOTH of my brothers would see everything while I was being spanked. Even after my mom kicked him out, my stepdad would spank me during the court-ordered visitations (these were basically weekends or specific days during the month when we had to spend time with him). He even had his new girlfriend spank me several times, too, because I called her a name the first day I met her. And it didn't matter who was around to watch, whether it be my younger brother, his girlfriend's nephews or others kids. This lasted most of the summer.

Basically, most of the time I was reduced to a crying, naked jiggling spectacle. I know my stepdad was within his 'technically' legal rights to spank me and that I, as a minor, had no 'technically' legal right to even remain clothed during spankings. But still!!!

That totally sucks Becky I feel sorry for you.
Po

Well Becky hearing all that and the fact you were being spanked in front of his g/f's nephews (how old were they) is ridiculouys and not right. Did you ever see your older brother spanked bare bottom and did you ever see your brothers naked with pants down after they both reached puberty, if so until what age did you see them naked and spanked? Spankings for you should have probably ended at age 13-14 at the most but probably before puberty.

You ever see yoiur step dad spank the nephews or see them spanked at all?

James, as I said - never saw my older brother spanked. Certainly not that I can remember unless maybe it happened before I started school when I was very young. Never saw him naked either, although one of my girlfriends did when she accidentally walked in on him changing (she was at my house for the first time, had gone downstairs and then came back up and went to the wrong bedroom door).

My younger brother? Yes. I've seen him spanked. But as I got older, I invariably left the room because it hurt me to see him beaten like that, especially if our stepdad was going to spank his bare bottom. Ironically, I've seen him naked a number of times AFTER the divorce was final. I've written about the awkwardness he felt when he injured his ankle and needed help bathing (and was too embarrassed to ask our mom). Still, at the time when I was being spanked, it was extremely shameful and humiliating for me.

At the time - when he first saw me spanked naked - it was about 3 months before I turned 17. So I think you can see why I was so mortified (also with his 12-year old playmate there - a boy whom I regularly babysat). And then a week later him seeing me spanked again - and again with my older brother, his girlfriend (now wife) and a couple who was friends of theirs. After that, during visitations with our stepdad, anytime he was with me he saw me get spanked. Ironically, once the court-ordered visitations started, my brother didn't get spanked. Only me. (My older brother was off to college that summer, so he was out of the picture as far as visitations were concerned.)

As to my stepdad's new girlfriend (that relationship didn't last long; he was just being spiteful towards my mom), her nephews were school age, I think around 8 or 9. No, I never saw them spanked. I was also forced to change in front of them in a family changing room at a public pool.

So you admit to calling her a name. That deserved one spanking. What did you do to earn more spankings from her?

I don't think I did anything to earn even ONE spanking from that *****.

Calling her a ***** didn't deserve a spanking?

First of all, I didn't call her a *****. My younger brother hadn't met her yet and asked who that was. I whispered to him that she was our stepdad's ''new-found wh..e.''

Unfortunately, my stepdad overheard me and that resulted in spanking - and to make it even more humiliating for me, he had her give it to me.

Calling a woman a ***** doesn't merit a spanking? Unless she had sex for money then she wasn't a *****. And you were being a rude girl.

That explains how you earned one spanking. What did you do to earn the other spankings you got from her?

I am in favor of spanking when it is done proper. First of all I am a christian. I am a believer in spare the rod spoil the child. I am a single dad who raised a daughter by myself with help of grandmother. My daughter now is 24yrs old and her and her husband are successful nurses. I spanked my daughter only 3 times her life all under 10yrs old with clothing on not off. I didnt have to spank as teenager, just took grounded and restriction worked fine. She liked school good student all in all a good kid. I do not believe a father should be spanking or even seeing his teenage daughter naked, or mother seeing her teenage son naked eather. It is morally wrong. Spankings are done not to embarrasse and humiliate, but to correct bad behavier. It is against the law to forcefully make a person take their clothing off. this guy should be in jail in my opinion. it is sexual abuse period. If anyone touched my daughter like that, they should fear my wrath. I am sorry for what you and your brothers went through Becky. Please, excuse grammer and spelling?

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I am sorry you had to go through that - no-one deserves such treatment!

Really? No one at all? Not even Hitler?

Godwin's Law strikes again.

But thank you, Peejay. I appreciate the sentiment - even if some people want to be nitpickers.

(As for Hitler, I feel he cheated the hangman.)

There's always someone who wants to rain on your parade - just ignore the nitpickers and enjoy what you do!

How about Himmler then? Or Taylor Swift?

Pick your own horrible person. Does no one really deserve a bare *** spanking?

probably you do.

See that wasn't so hard. Was it?

Here's a song of my roommates said her grandfather learned from some Australian buddies he made while serving in the Navy in the Pacific in WWII.

Think of The Bridge on the River Kwai theme.

''Hitler has only got one ball.
Goering... has two but very small.
Himmler... has something sim'liar.
And poor old Goebbels has no balls at all.''

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Anyone who beats a teenage girl on her bare buttocks is guilty of sexual as well as physical abuse. And anyone here who can't see this is too moronic to argue with further or is a closet pervert themselves. I'm glad this young woman's mother finally had the sense to divorce this sick **** (although he should have done time in jail too).

You don't spank a girl when she is 16 years old even if she is your kid. It's a nonsense. Definitely you don't humiliate her. You speak to her, you earn her respect, you dominate her in any other way but not like this. This way is effective at ages of 6,7,8 years. At Becky's age spanking is a suicide for the parent and definitely causes results and feeling similar with Becky's outburst. The guy was definitely a looser trying to dominate with his physical strength not his mind his step daughter. NONSENSE

I don't particularly agree with you that you (at no time) spank a 16 year old girl. I would I venture to say that at 16 it is probably a good idea that physical punishment be relegated to the mother. I agree with you that the way the story reflects her treatment by her stepdad is always, ALWAYS a no-go. I also agree with you that he was compensating. To any step parent I would say if at all possible let the blood relative handle the discipline. It would solve a lot of headaches as well as possibley legal trouble. The stepdad in this story was ripe for discipline himself (the justice system kind).

Of course it may happen, but if it happens it is wrong, I believe. On the one hand with your daughter, if you haven't already earn her respect, definitely you are not going to earn it with a spanking. If you have already earn her respect, just a word is enough. On the other hand with your step daughter you are not ever going to earn her respect like that.
In both cases the result of a spanking is definitely reverse of the expected and definitely a teen's reaction is unforeseeable.

I totally disagree. I was 19+10 months last time I went over my dad's knees and to be honest I deserved more than what I got. If you are going to be disrespectful and disobedient you deserve to get your butt beat hard enough to remember for years. She got what she deserved. After first reading this story I asked several men I work with and the all agreed with her stepdad's response.

Wow most kids need spankings growing up n u seemed to need to be spanked too but no need to spank u in front of all those people spnkbooty

Hi Becky, Thanks for sharing your experience here. I am sorry that you had to go through that. Nobody should be treated like that. How much longer did the spankings last after that night? Since your mom let you stay over at a friends that night, what was it like when you came back home? Did your step father still try to punish you the same way? Hope your doing well.

Hi, Bman,

My stepdad moved out shortly there after, as my mom filed for divorce.

But, yes, I still received more such spankings during court-ordered visitations throughout the summer.

However, eventually my mom won full legal and physical custody and my younger brother and I didn't have to see him anymore.

Hi Becky, Thanks for the responce. It was good to hear from you. You have been through quite a bit. Do you remember what it was like when you first had to start going to your stepdads throughout the summer. Do you think he tried to change at all or did he go right back to giving you spankings when you went over to visit him? I bet you were nervous because your mom was not there. Did he spank you in front of your brother or did he take you in a bedroom? I guess you tried to be on your best behavior while you were there. How long did the visits last? I hope to hear from you soon. Take care

Hi, Bman.

It was a routine thing throughout most of the summer. My stepdad spanked me or had his new girlfriend spank me nearly ever visitation. Especially once my mom's request to the judge for him to not be allowed to was rejected, he felt emboldened.

He always found some excuse, either because I talked back, wasn't talkative enough, because of my final report card from 10th grade, because he found out I got caught having sex in my boyfriend's car, etc.

Basically, he was making up for years when he hadn't spanked me. It didn't matter whether my younger brother was there or not. I don't think there was one time in which Matt didn't see me spanked if he was with me. We usually went on visitations together, though not always.

Terri's young nephews saw me spanked as well as did others. He didn't care about my dignity and when I complained how embarrassing it was his answer was always something like I should have thought about that before whatever it was I did or said or didn't do.

Hi Becky. Thanks for the response. It seemed like your stepdad not only liked spanking you for something, you mentioned that he also had his new girlfriend do it. Do you remember what that was like when she spanked you? Did your stepdad tell her to spark you or did she also try to find things that you did wrong so you would have to be punished. Was she a little easier on you or did she pull your pants down also? Did your stepdad watch when his new girlfriend was spanning you ? Did she use her hand or did she prefer an object to use on your behind? Did your stepdad tell you that she could spank you also or was it a surprise the first time it happened? Did you try to fight her or did you just comply with the spanking? Maybe you could share a story about that sometime. I hope to hear from you. Thanks

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that step dad was a ***** and should have been arrested , but think you were a little bratty though . he should never had touched you though . but you naked sure sounds exciting .

My dad did the same thing. God bless him for caring enough to teach me self respect and decency. Your step dad was a good man. The q & a was part of my dad's ritual too. I remembered the rules after those sessions and respected him for not backing off.

I don't know your dad but I know that the office of dad and the office of stepdad are almost never comparable. The guy should have shown more self-restraint (the same values he was attempting to instill in his stepdaughter). The guy practically dared his wife to divorce him. And the public humiliation was so overdone. Relationships are EASY to damage step-relationships are probably the easiest of all. He may have been a good man but it struck me as opportunism. His humiliation of her probably changed every relationship she had with everyone who was present.

Your stepfather was only giving you punishment you deserved.

How so? Why do you say ''deserved''? What did I do to deserve that?

You are an excellent writer....and sorry. :(

Becky



Just to give some perspective.



In the country I live in everything your stepdad did would be illegal. That is:



1. All forms of physical punishment is illegal, under all circumstances.



2. Force stripping someone, or possibly even ordering them to ***** themselves, would be regarded as sexual assault. The shame aspect would be the legal ground for this to be a sexual assault.



3. A stepparent would have absolutely no legal right to engage in parenting under any circumstances. Only the biological parent would be considered a parent and have a right and an obligation to take responsibility for parenting. The biological parent would also be legally liable for any actions the stepparent do regarding parenting.



I understand that this might not be culturally relevant in another society, and I don't say this to say its better. Just to let you know that there a whole countries in the world where people don't think anyone should experience what you experienced. It might be helpful to know that.

I'm not sure where you got this idea that in your country a step-parent has "no legal right to engage in parenting", but that is utter nonsense. First of all, how would such a law be written? Secondly, what person would want to marry someone who wouldn't "engage in parenting" their kids? What does that even mean? If a woman with two children marries a man, he is not responsible for the children? So if the woman gets sick and goes into the hospital, he isn't supposed to feed the children? He just allows them to run into the street? What nonsense! Don't write crap like this when you don't know what the heck you're talking about.

The Country is Sweden.

And in Sweden marriage is legally only an affair between the adults. Usually both the biological parents stay as legal guardians for the kids after a divorce. And a stepparent would have to legally adopt a kid after marriage to become a legal guardian. And for an adoption to take place both the biological parents would have to consent and if the child is over 11 years old it also has to consent to the adoption.

Marriage in general has a very weak legal status in Sweden. It mostly influences taxes, inheritance and legal liability for debt. Care of children is a completely different law and is completely separated from marriage law. Unmarried parents that gets kids have the same responsibilities towards the kid as married parents. Both the father and mother gets the same rights and responsibilities regarding the child. Stepparents do not, they're not regarded as parents at all by the law.

In the scenario you described where the mother would get sick and end up in hospital the other biological parent would be responsible, if there is no such person then of course the mother could organize so that the stepparent functions as a babysitter. But the stepparent wouldn't have any real legal right and cannot make any decisions without the biological parents consent.

If the biological parent is to sick to make decisions then social security administration would step in and place the kids in the care of a temporary foster parent. That could be the stepparent but only after a full investigation about the suitability of that person to act as foster parent.

And to be honest, you're the one writing crap and have absolutely no clue whatsoever when it comes to laws in other countries than your own.

What you are talking about are legal rights as it pertains to custody. What I am talking about is legal *obligation*. For example (since you mentioned "babysitting"), what legal obligation do you think a stepparent has for the child it is "babysitting" for? If the stepparent neglects the child, if it doesn't feed the child, can that stepparent get into trouble with the law? Yes, they can. The legal parent will too, but the stepparent has a legal *obligation* to treat the child properly. Caring for a child properly is "parenting". I'm not saying that a stepparent has "legal rights". I'm saying that a stepparent has a "legal obligation" as it pertains to how they care for a child living with them (and their legal custodian, i.e., the parent).

Secondly, in Sweden a stepparent cannot adopt a child if both parents are living (and have joint custody) contrary to your example. In Sweden a child can have only two "custodians" and if both parents are living, a stepparent cannot adopt.

Lastly, it doesn't really matter what the laws are, abuse happens. It happens everywhere, including in Sweden. In fact, stepparents in Sweden are more likely to abuse children to death than their own parents:

http://www.nkmr.org/english/step_parents_abuse_children_to_death_more_often.htm

You will also notice in that study that the following conclusion was made:

"A study performed by Richard Gelles and Ǻke Edfelt in 1986 compared Sweden and the USA in regard to violence against children. The study showed that Swedish parents in general use less violence than American parents. This difference was explained by the relatively new law against corporal punishment.

But when you compared the violence against children more specifically, there was no major difference between the countries."

"No major difference". Swedish laws don't stop parents from abusing, and it certainly doesn't stop stepparents from abusing. So your original statement, which was:

"Just to let you know that there a whole countries in the world where people don't think anyone should experience what you experienced. It might be helpful to know that.."

...doesn't hold water. Your country isn't any different.

It is very different.

And you are completely wrong regarding Swedish laws. I have an uncle who legally adopted his wife's child with the consent of the biological father. It's extremely uncommon though.

Anyone who interacts with a child would have a legal obligation to treat that child properly in Sweden, being a stepparent doesn't have anything to do with it.

And yes there is child abuse in Sweden too. That was not my point. The point is what is regarded as child abuse by the law is a much wider definition and almost everything Becky has experienced would actually be illegal as I stated in my original comment.

This was my last comment on this matter because I find you're way of debating aggressive, abusive, dishonest and there is no value whatsoever in debating with people who are outright lying about things they have no knowledge of just because they cannot admit they are wrong.

Thanks for making my point for me. You just said, "Anyone who interacts with a child would have a legal obligation to treat that child properly in Sweden, being a stepparent doesn't have anything to do with it." That is exactly what I was saying. A stepparent does not have to have any "legal" rights to parent, they are expected to parent because that is what a stepparent is supposed to do. You said, "Only the biological parent would be considered a parent and have a right and an obligation to take responsibility for parenting. " But now you say, "Anyone who interacts with a child would have a legal obligation to treat that child properly in Sweden". So which is it? Does a stepparent have a legal obligation to treat a child properly, meaning care for the child, which is PARENTING, or are they not supposed to parent at all? See, you don't know what you're talking about. As far as your example goes, about some uncle who legally adopted his wife's child with the consent of the biological parent, the only way that would happen is if the biological parent gave up ALL legal rights to be the child's parent. So what I said was true, in Sweden there can only be two legal guardians. As far as what Becky experienced, you and I don't differ on the fact that she was abused. NO child should EVER be spanked nude, and certainly no female teen should EVER be forced to ***** for a stepparent. That is wrong, sick and horrible. As far as your comment that I'm "aggressive, abusive and dishonest", how was I dishonest? You called me a liar, without ANY evidence. I think calling someone a liar, without any evidence, is very "abusive, dishonest and aggressive". I don't really care if you comment again, because (as I said before) you don't know what the heck you're talking about. You change your mind as you go along and you don't read what I write. I don't appreciate you saying I'm "lying" when I haven't told a single lie. The only person who has made things up, is you.

2 More Responses

Is he still alive?I could use his name and address along with the other guy who exposed his STEP daughter.There are members of at least 3 1%er bike clubs that would really like to meet them.

May have your step fathers adress? I would like to slowly cut off his hands if you wouldent mind. What he did to you was crewel torcher. I think he just wanted to touch you pervertedly and humiliate you. He had no right to do that :/ I don't care if u were dressed like a hooker flashing people (which he probably completely lied about and took a small fact and changed it to a twisted lie) I feel compleatly sorry for you

You were treated wrong by your stepfather.



It was not necessary and it was wrong, that you got caned naked in front of strangers.



I can understand that you have been embarrassed and felt degraded not only because strangers saw as you got caned on your bare buttocks but also because you had to remove your bra, and because your boobs bounced and jiggled to the amusement of spectators as you were spanked.