I'm Not Pretty Enough.

Basic fact of life, some people are pretty, while others aren't. I'm not pretty. I know I'm not, and I accept it even though I wish I didn't have to because it sucks.
I've had boyfriends before, but only because they liked me and I thought that was nice. But recently I have developed standards, which is awful because I don't deserve the guys I find attractive. I'm not pretty enough or stable enough or anything, they deserve better.
Occasionally, people will tell me I'm pretty, like my patents, which doesn't count, or unattractive guys at my school, which doesn't help. I feel bad for not being able to settle, but I can't help who I find attractive even thought that's kind of hypocritical. Junior prom is coming up and I've opted not to go because 1) I don't have a date, 2) I feel bad for having turned down two guys that I just can't bring myself to like, and 3) I can't go alone. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does.
I keep telling my friends it's no big deal, that I don't really care about jprom or even prom...but deep down I know I do care and I would love to go. But it's just not in the cards for me. Nothing is going to make me happy so why bother?
I'm just so pathetic and I hate myself so much. I hate it when people compliment me because they clearly are lying or want something or are trying to be nice. I'm turning into a heartless, emotionless person who, rather than have a real boyfriend, would rather go to clubs and hu with strangers because at least I won't know if they are talking **** about me later. Ughh. I'm pathetic and I deserve this crap.