I Am Married, But Somehow, I Feel Like Being Solitary

I guess my stories are different because they happened in China. China is such a traditional country and it seems that everything i can tell is deeply rooted in China, this ancient oriental country.

I am married, and I have a beautiful and capable wife and I have a one-year-old daughter, but I am not that happy. I think largly, it is because of the coming of my daughter that brings so many issues that put me aside in the corner of my familiy. However, a second thought convinces me that it is from my nature.

Indeed, my daught comes to jion us in a sligthly unproper time. In China, it is common that the kid's four grands-two grandfathers and two grandmothers, take the responsibility to take care of the kid. But, when my daughter comes to us, my father passed away, and the other three, due to some personnel reasons, can't take care of her. And, it is never easy to find a nanny here.

In deed, my mother came to help, but there also came a very traditaional domestic conflict-the conflict between the wife and the mother of the husband. I thought they could play a harmonious tune, but they fail, and my mother left with some angers.

Then, my wife makes more fusses, and I feel more solitary. We are so different, I suddently feel so clear. I believe this is common to a great number of Chinese hunsbands, but i feel it so troublesome to me.

I work in the international office of a university, but in nature, i am very intervert, i am afraid. I see people are after so many meanless pursuits, and there is not much common among us. There are so few colleagues on the same wave length with me. I choose to be solitary. Doing my own things silently in my own world.

Sometimes, I wanted to change myself. Later, i gave up, because I saw there was no hope in attainning such a goal. And, the passing away of my Father almost a year ago also told me that life comes to a peaceful end anyway. why bother?

qingdaoleo qingdaoleo
26-30, M
1 Response Feb 28, 2010

There is little of use that I can say to you...but I do hope that somehow you found peace and contentment. Though this story was posted almost two years ago, I do wish you all the best.