Even Among Outsiders

Throughout school I was always an outsider, an outcast. Prior to high school, I attended a private school, so there weren't enough students for there to be anyone else for me to befriend.

Once in high school, and back in the public school system, I found other outsiders and outcasts, and these people became those I had lunch with, was surrounded by during school breaks, but I never hung out with after school.

Even among the outcasts I was an outsider.

These days, I'm out of school, living on my own, and literally alone. Studio apartment, only socializing with coworkers when at work, and coming home to an empty apartment where I stay until I have to go to work again.
mononoaware mononoaware
26-30, M
4 Responses Sep 22, 2012

:( same here I hated elementary school I just didn't fit in and still don't in most places

mononoaware ... ditto. I often feel very, very old when I watch people and listen to people ... what they talk about just seems like nonsense to me. They get their knickers tied in a loop about the silliest of things , meanwhile I'm thinking of what is the most meaningful way to live life, and the best ways to bring peace and happiness....

Think of it this way: it's refreshing to come come to the clearness of solitude. Being alone can be a healthy thing for you ... you don't need to believe what society tells you that being alone "is deviant and weird". Many people live like you. Embrace it bro!

I used to be content with solitude, until I found a few people who I actually enjoyed being around. Now, they've ruined it for me. When I'm alone, I almost perpetually feel their absence.

I'm the same. I never fitted in at school and it's the same at work. People I work with often hang out together or are friends with one another but I have always felt like an outsider there. I used to try to be friendly and chatty but people at work always revert back to their default setting which is to bond together with me on the 'outside' of their group.

Same here mate I also never fitted in anywhere
Not even amogst the outcasts

Livin in a empty apartment the only one welcoming me is a bottle of Old Gentlemens Jack
So I know what you mean mate but no worry it build character