Have Everyone Yet Alone!!!

I have my mother , brothers and sisters yet i feel i am alone. My dad died when i as 14, i miss him alot, mostly i wish he was alive. I have family who don't care if i live or die but when it comes for me to take decision about my life then everyone just pops up from nowhere.

I talk to myself most of the times, when i do, i smile, i cry, i make facial expression. Sometimes i think i am nuts.

I stay awake all night, like today... it's 6am and i have not slept. My husband is fast asleep.