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I'm Bored With Life

As a child I was abused mentally and emotionally by my Dad. He hated me and tried to murder me. I spent my school years being bullied. I spent my dating years going from one broken heart to the next. I could never keep a job more than 2 weeks. My first marriage was to an abusive man. I'm in my 2nd marriage,another abusive man. I've never known anything but poverty,always had to sacrifice to get things I wanted. Had 7 cars repossesed,evicted from 3 apartments,and lost a house to foreclosure. I've been raped 3 times,and nearly beaten to death by a boyfriend. I was 30 before I was able to move out of my parents' home. I've known nothing but failure,loss,rejection,and defeat,suffering and misery. My children treat me like a slave. They show me nothing but disrespect. My 10 year old hates me. My parents live over 500 miles away from me. My husband's family hates me. My family and me are in a financial crisis,facing losing our home and living on the streets,cuz we have no place to go. We are in debt and can no longer afford to pay our bills and rent. I'm beyond tired. I can't fight anymore. I'm tired of life. Nothing ever gets better. It justs gets worse. I can't continue living this way. I don't want to.

glimmerized glimmerized 41-45, T 5 Responses Jul 16, 2008

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Glimmerized, what you share is heart-rending. I don't know how to respond other than to tell you that you have my deepest respect for enduring the difficulties you have. I clicked on your story title because I, too, feel exhausted with life, despite not yet even being legal drinking age. But reading your story, I feel humbled. Would you like to "speak" more here on EP?

Ahhh May God and the angels protect you. Pray to God and ask him for love and protection. I'm here should u wanna talk.

Ahhh May God and the angels protect you. Pray to God and ask him for love and protection. I'm here should u wanna talk.

OMG you poor thing. I mean OMG you are really not having any luck whatsoever. I feel really sad for you because I have the same life minus the rapes and stuff. But yeah, pretty much there with ya with the whole "oh life will get better" crap as it never seems to. And my attitude is a result of that...not the cause of it. Believe that.

I dont even know what to say. Just know that I was here and read ur story. Msg me if u need to talk some more.