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I Went To A Funeral Today

I went to the funeral of a good friend today. I had no interest in getting close to the corpse. My friend is dead. The body is of no use anymore. What I suppose was of use was the service itself. It was some kind of protestant thing. I can handle the Catholic, Episcopal, Methodist, and Lutheran services just fine, but this free form stuff gets my goat.

He started by referrencing all over the Bible, from Lamentations to Revelations. Once he hit that book, I was close to the end. But then...

The minister said he did not know my friend, that he was speaking from the memories relayed to him by the family, and then he proceeded to imagine his way into my friend's life, including sound effects, and he just would not stop. Then, as we were all going, he decided to "comfort" a family member who was holding it together just fine. The poor man just exploded into a waling mess. Thanks, Mr Minister.

Maybe I am just mean-spirited. This is a good possibility. I was a bible-thumper once myself. I don't like seeing vulnerable people shaken up like that. I don't think it helps. I wish I thought they were being played, but I think that the guy really thought he was being helpful. I can't see how anybody would find that sort of thing helpful. I wanted to punch him and tell him to shut up.
TheSquirrel TheSquirrel 46-50, M 1 Response Apr 4, 2011

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{HUGS} Some folks were truly meant for other work...<br />
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It was 1986... I was newly emancipated, at a gymnastics competition, all day event. That morning, I didn't feel "right." After floor and beam, I was standing on deck for bars, my worst event. I saluted the judge (knowing it was in vain, my routine sucked). I did my mount, got into the swing (no pun intended), when out of nowhere, I lost my grasp and sailed to the floor. I stood up and tried to shake it off. I saw my adoptive mum standing by the door. Something was wrong.<br />
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In short, my uncle (real) who had me babysit his son often had called her. His wife (evil b_tch who must die) had killed the baby. Baby Seth was 1 year, 1 month and 4 days old. She killed him because she thought my uncle loved HIM more than he loved HER. That day, no matter what hell I endured over my lifetime... that day I knew that I would never be right again. At the funeral, I was just beyond help. I wasn't crying or sobbing--that's the reaction of a person coping just fine. I was stoic and unable to feel. During the service, the priest had the gall to say that such crimes didn't make sense, but that we all might perhaps find some peace in the knowledge that God needs more cherubs. <br />
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um, WHAT? God needs more cherubs?? So THAT is why this evil, awful woman killed her baby, my cousin? I sincerely doubt it now, but at the impressionable age of 15 (about to turn 16), I couldn't separate the clergyman from God. His words made it seem like that was really the reason my cousin was brutally murdered. It didn't help that my cousin had very curly blonde hair, soft blue eyes, and the sweetest little voice. It didn't help that his smile lit up the room. He LOOKED like a cherub. After that, I have always detested the depiction of cherubs. <br />
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Some clergy really needs to be smacked about... just so they understand that their little theories about God and horribly painful events are theirs to keep to themselves. I'm sorry you witnessed this idiocy as well.

Clergy are not God, thank God. They are human, too, and often are no more able to comprehend a given situation than anyone else is. They have no good answers and, I suspect, hope that those who listen will be carried to a place where they feel better, even it the way there makes no sense at all.

That is one of the saddest stories I have ever heard, yet I am not surprised by the woman's behavior. I have seen a few things over the years. Don't let this person's foolishness shake your faith.

Also, do you not find it interesting, but not surprising, that you had the disconcerting feeling that day? We often "know" things before they are communicated to us.