Men Not Being Open About Their 'Feelings'Just for the record, I do know that there are plenty of men who are emotional and expressive and talk about everything they think and feel, but I still think it's the other way around more.
The widely-held idea in our culture is that men aren’t very emotional and don’t talk about how they feel because they’ve been conditioned not to, that it’s unmanly and weak. I think this is true to an extent - but a very short one. I believe that ultimately many men don’t openly express how they feel because they fear criticism, and sometimes for good reason: you have common occurrances where a man feels a certain way and expresses it, tries to talk about it, but is treated like a whiner for doing so, or a “girl,” and not just by other men; even girlfriends and wives have treated men this way. All too often females love complimenting themselves on being more emotional or more understanding, yet when a guy opens up, sometimes women act like he's being a "baby" and needs to "grow up." Too often what bothers many men or what matters to them is treated as something he should “get over,” not “take so seriously,” or “let go.”
I myself am a pretty open, emotional guy, and I have experienced this kind of insensitive treatment - even here on EP, and from women as well. As a man, there's this expectation from women and society for men to be open and talk about things, yet when we do, it seems to be that it still isn't taken seriously. You are treated like a complainer - or worse your complaints are minimized ("What are you complaining for?! You have it easier!"), you are told what you think or what you feel is silly, and the worst of it all is that because you do talk about what bothers you, you are judged as being "sexually frustrated," having "mommy issues," not being able to "get laid," and a whole host of other high school-minded insults and judgments for what bothers you. And I think this is why a lot of guys don't talk about everything they feel or think to avoid this scrutiny.
So in the end, what do we expect from guys? How can we - but mostly women - want them to be expressive and emotional yet disregard what he feels? And then we wonder why some men get so angry and just lose it. The indifference from people to what they think and feel can certainly make a man feel lost and alone, and I can sympathize with that. This is something we as a society and women need to focus on and make a real effort to fix.
AllStarcrushNate 26-30, M 6 Responses 17 Jan 23, 2013