Painful To Let Go

I once dated a wonderful woman. She was educated, astute, wise, warm and fun to be with. But she yearned to be a mother. A year earlier I'd been divorced from a bad marriage and wasn't particularly looking to get too deeply involved again but was prepared to take the risk for this lovely woman.

But when she told her family about me they strongly dis-approved. Her brother for one, advised her not to get involved. I think his reasoning was that I'd be paying alimony and, as she was an heiress (yes, honestly!) , it might prove to be very expensive if my ex wanted a slice of any money I came into.

We loved each other deeply but I could see this issue was tearing her apart. She didn't want to go against her family's wishes and I understood that so we said a painful goodbye.

A year or so later, I'd met another wonderful woman to whom I am now married and have a wonderful family with. It turns out the alimony issue never was a problem.

A few months after my re-marriage this person contacted me again just to say 'hi'. She asked my situation and I told her that I'd re-married.

She asked if I'd had any more children and I said yes.

I could hear that she was torn-up inside. I dearly would have loved to have been with her and give her the children she longed for.

That was many years ago. I don't know what happened in her life afterwards or whether she ever had her own children. I hope she did. I worry that she may have resented the advice her family gave her and fallenl out with them? I hope not.

I am sending my love to her through the ether as I write this.

EnglishMuffin EnglishMuffin
46-50, M
10 Responses Oct 21, 2009

I was never approved by my mother in law, subsequently she disinherited his only son with the help of my husband's son from a previous marriage<br />
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She only took care of the first three grandchildren, my three kids never counted

Some families are obsessed with money!

And how is that situation working out?

I also dated a girl and her mother certainly did not approve of me----------------------so, I MARRIED HER !!!!

Thank you for your comment. You are quite correct, the in-law relationship could have been very uncomfortable. But that doesn't stop me from wondering how she is though. And even though I have a strong, happy marriage now, I feel a little guilty that I still care for her.

Your decision was for the best. Had she ignored their wishes and married you anyhow, you would have had problems with you in-laws for the length of your time together and that may have over time split you apart anyhow. Obviously it wasn't a perfect fit. Sometimes love isn't enough.<br />
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You're right woman came along and now you don't have her family's wishes looming over every decision you make in your lives together.

Thank you LLJ, I needed to write it down.<br />
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I sincerely hope she had the children she yearned for and is having a truly beautiful life with them.

That's so sad and beautiful x

Thank you birdiesail

You sound like a good person.