I Once Had a Male Best Friend
When I was in college , my best friend was a guy. We met our freshman year but really did not become friends until the year after and it took awhile before we actually became best friends. This was not my first close male friend but it was the first time in my life that my best friend was male. Actually, I think I need to take that back because as a small child, my very best friend was a neighbor boy.
I am not sure how my male friend in college became my best friend. We had a fair bit in common but we had many things about us that were completely different. One of the best things about the relationship is that we had great conversations. We used to have very long, deep conversations about everything. I remember many nights in college where we would go to one another's apartment and talk all night long. We always seemed to have fun with one another despite our different interests. We both were genuinely devoted to one another and understood each other very deeply.
There was never any sexual tension in our relationship. Our relationship was always platonic. When we met, the assumption we each made was that the other person was straight. I suppose it was within about two years, that I came out as a lesbian and not long after that he came out as a gay man. He introduced me to my first lover and partner, a woman who had been one of his college professors. I was there the night that he hooked up with his first lover and partner.
Although we live in different cities now, only talk a handful of times each year, and only see one another approximtely every five years, we remain good friends. We are no longer best friends but we remain close. Each time we talk it is like we just spoke the day before and we pick up right where we left off. I am sad to say that I was not a part of his commitment ceremony with his long-term partner. I would have liked to have been at his side for that. His mother was dying in hospice and ultimately he decided to have the ceremony at her bedside before she died. It has been hard for him this past year since she died and I often wish that I lived closer to him so that I could be there for him in more ways than I can be living so far away.
