The Pain Of One-sided Relationship

I have always been serious about relationships. I don’t remember anytime when I thought of starting relationship with a girl just for the sake of relationship. I believe that my position with respect to relationship is influenced by my Christian upbringing. When I feel like getting close to a lady, the question I ask myself is: am I ready for commitment? In short, my position has been that I can only start romantic relationship with someone whom I believe is a soul mate for the rest of my life. Such thinking kept me out of relationship till I do my masters degree and getting to my 30s. And finally I thought I got the one which I was dreaming about and I started communicating and it is almost a year since I started talking to this lady. Before I started talking seriously, we would often talk about relationship that I felt we share many common things and I finally posed the question and her answer was wonderful. She said, “if God be willing, I am ok.” I started with excitement and hope. We would talk about kids, about how couples should respect one another and other so many things. Unfortunately, the communication is one-sided and oftentimes dry as she always try to kill conversations. I have to do everything and in return I get nothing. I call her everyday and at times many times within one day and I tell her how I love her, I arrange for surprises. Yet, I have not seen anything that pleases her. At times, it is so frustrating and I feel like ending the relationship at once. It is so painful when u love someone but the latter does not have the same love rhythm as u.  Indeed, this has been so painful experience that I finally decided to share it against my Conviction. My Conviction and Belief is that God is good and He makes everything possible and I know that one day, I will find my true soul mate.


BTW, both of us are born-again Christians who do not believe in pre-marital sexual activities. Admittedly, she is spiritually stronger than me in terms of her biblical knowledge. Additionally, she is only high school complete. Reading what others have to say on this may help me deal with my current situation. I thank everyone in advance!!

May God bless us all!!

Biniam Biniam
Feb 7, 2010