For The First Time, I Registered In An On-line Dating Site.

In an effort to cure my loneliness and longing, sometimes, for intimacy, I have taken the advice of a good EP friend and set up a profile on an on-line dating site.  At first I was totally nervous and feeling very self-conscious.  I put up several pictures, then took some down, and worked mighty hard at creating a thorough blurb.  As I love to write, I totally overdid myself, and ended up having to cut, cut, cut.  That's okay, though.  It's like copy-editing, which comes with being a writer.  I browsed other member's profiles for a while (kind of like here), and actually got up the courage to message someone who lives in a city not too far away.

I'm not under any illusions.  At least not yet.  I don't know this person from a hole in the wall (sorry to put it so bluntly).  And, I mean, she looks nice, and I like what she wrote about herself.  But she's a person, just like me, shy and uncertain about where this might lead, and not wanting to get hurt in the process of 'reaching out to (potentially) touch someone,' as the old expression goes.

I left the site alone for a couple days.  There are just too many women, you know?  Actually, I didn't know.  Like, you mean you've all been hiding out here all this time?  Before too long it was hard to know if I was looking for the right thing any more.  When I came back this morning I found that my message had been replied to, with a similar, short "Hi, thanks for your message, nice to meet you" note.  I wrote back a more detailed message, and I'll just wait and see what comes.  I'm totally relaxed about this right now.  There's no expectation on my part, except to keep messaging and to maybe have a first meet and greet over coffee if we seem to get along.  It all feels . . .cool.

Another woman sent me a message, just to say she enjoyed reading my profile.  So I sent her a message, too.  And a sent a third woman, whose profile I just looked at for the first time (she had looked at mine, the web-site advised me), a short message saying that I liked her profile and what she wrote about herself.  She lives further away, though, so at this moment I doubt we'll hook up.  But, hey, you never know.  Great distances have been travelled before to meet someone special. 

As I said, right now I'm just being cool.  I don't think I'll send messages to any more women right now, though.  I'm a one-man, one-woman kind of guy.  When you're just getting started it's okay to say hi to lots of people, to put myself "out there," as it were.  But I don't want to end up with a mess of having to communicate with too many girls, especially when everyone (including me) is a bit cautious and insecure and doesn't want to end up getting hurt.  That last bit will probably resonate with some users here, too

Anyway, I'm glad I've taken this first step now.  It's become something positive for the moment, and just feels all right.
UnderEli UnderEli
46-50, M
2 Responses Aug 8, 2010

Thanks for your reply. I have found that my very best relationships always started out as friendships, so I know what you're talking about. I'm content to stay in the shallow end for now. I have no desire to get in over my head or go swimming with a sharks. One step at a time. And whatever happens happens.

Very good. It is good to limit yourself to just a few women at first and not get all egotistical and too crazy. You're controlling the situation and taking time to feel out each of the potential prospective women in a sensible way. Meeting for coffee or something simple like that is a nice way to meet also. Comfortable, nice surroundings. Great place to talk. I hope you will find that special someone you seek. So it will take a little while to really get to know her. You sound like a patient man who will take his time. Becoming friends is the best way to see if it can go further but i'm sure you know that by now. Good luck in finding The One :)