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To The Man Who Broke My Heart Recently

 

My dearest  

Thank you for the email you sent me recently. Now you have admitted that you are completely idiot for not choosing me. While you said I am smarter and good looking than her ( I am well pleased), you have fell for her, who is, according to you giving you more headache.  

You have chosen a woman who is a gold digger (this is the word you said). He made you pay for her debts and will make you give her family a big amount. You have chosen a woman, who appeared to be hard-to-get at first; ours was founded by friendship while you felt that she is giving you hard time to win her heart.

So, now she have you, she found out that you are good with negotiations with money matters, so what she did is to look for another man who could possibly pay for her debts; and that give you a headache. So I asked you what else does she want and how much money does she need?   In other words, you have chosen a woman who is not responsible for herself and is after your money.  

While when we were together we talked on how things to be workout after the marriage. We shared our thoughts and we are trying to resolve things together. We even did that with small details during our dating periods.  

You reconnect with me and said you believe we have strong basis for friendship, now I'd like to remind you, isn't this is what we first, or originally believe that friendship is the good foundation for a long lasting relationship? it is just so sad that you didn't hold on to your words and believe that love is craziness.  

You have sent me your chat conversations with her, which it seems you are just trying to believe yourself that she is now tamed and is committed to you than before. But you admit that along the way, there will be problem ahead of time. By the way, I have observed how you edited some words there. How long will you be crazy?  

While when we were together we talked about so many things in common and had appeared that we have same interests. I wonder how will she appreciates your likes in music and arts? Now, it occurred to me that those words you said when I tried to "win" you back are all lies. You were just trying to prove to yourself that you made a right choice. And here you are now, you are not even married to her, but you run to me when you know you need somebody to talk to, somebody who you can be yourself and discuss to me your innermost thoughts.  

I am disappointed. Is it really you that I was fallen in love? You'd like to have a woman who is confident, responsible and is intelligent. Now, it occurs that you are molding a woman according to your plan. You want to be in control of her even though she is controlling you now with your money. While you were given a woman who is a partner, you have chosen an irresponsible woman who can't decide for herself and is in control of her family.   When I told you that you must have peace of mind with your choices, you are convincing yourself that you are in peace.

Go on and be idiot for the rest of your life. You believe that everything will be okay but let me remind you, you can't change the person for what she is now. And, let me tell you, it will still occur during your marriage life. I know that you know these facts because you are a psychologist.  

My dearest, I was fallen in love with the profile you made. Now that I'm knowing you more, I am thankful that you didn't chose me. How can I be with the man who will confide with someone else with all the shortcomings I'll have along the way? I don't wanna hear you someday that you regret it that you marry me and have chosen me because you fell in love with me. I would rather hear you say, "You are the best thing happen to me despite of all your insecurities and scathes in life".  

Lastly, you said in front of my face that I should go, look for my man who will commit to me. These words of yours still carved in my heart. But now, I am completely convinced that each man who went in my way would like to commit with me, they have wanted me to be their wife and to be the mother of their children. It is just me who didn't want to commit with them because I do not want a man who will mold me according to his plan. I am a woman who has a character molded by my beliefs, culture, and most of all experiences that made me strong and irresistible.   You are just one of the men in my past, whether I was in a relationship or just a fling, who after they marry the chosen woman, came back to me and told me; "I wish I waited for you and I have chosen you over her" (rephrased)  

Do I sound arrogant to you now? I am not, I just want you to know I am still, a woman, who is looking for her partner who genuinely seeking for love according to its genuinely description. Someone who is just so good to be true and will accept me for who I am.

yenohtel yenohtel 31-35, F 8 Responses Oct 14, 2009

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I'd like to find a man to pay off my debts. Any suggestions ?

Damn, she must have some good ***** or something !

hi yenohtel, i created a poll after reading this experience.. i am just wondering what reall matters many in terms of choosing a lifetime partner. because i think if this man still chose this girl even thogh it sounds like he is being scammed over you who are smarter and much prettier.. i think this man has something in mind too to somehow use this scaming girl. to anyone who happen to read this.. please participate in the poll. thanks

the woman asked this man to pay her debt if he wanted to marry her..uhmnnn kinda like that. in other words, yes.

so what you saying is he is paying her off? ...

Hi Mawna,thanks! Well, the woman he had chosen is not rich. The family is requiring him to give an amount of money because it is a tradition, a culture. Worst to all I heard from this man is that he accepted to pay the personal debt of her gf to be able to marry her. Well, at first the chosen woman seemed a "winner" but i doubt it in a long run in their marriage life, she is according to this man, demanding and not smart. This man also speaks his mind so I guess, in the long run they will just gonna hurt each other with words... how can you be peaceful with that? right? What if there will come a time that the do not have money at all? I respected this man with his views during our time but now, he sounds nonsense to me.

We need more women like you out there to stand her ground! You too precious to be sitting with a A$$... I pray you find your sole mate!

Whoa whewww don't know your situation, BUT it certainly sounds like you just barely avoided a HUGE messy mistake concerning this man. Many men will say what they think a woman wishes to hear at the time, they are with them. Then they get away from that woman and say the same things to another woman. It sounds like you are VERY lucky to have this person out of your life, for once and for all times. Keep being the intelligent woman you are. We all have to learn hard lessons concerning members of the opposite sex, you just have learned one very large one. Just one question though, is this man the only one with money OR does the woman he is now with, does her family have money also. Just wondering as if her family has money this could have been a deciding factor between the two of you. Especially If he is as cold a fish as your letter makes him out to be.