Too Much Thought...

I am guilty of over analyzing. No way around it, I guess it stems from seeing how things effect other things. Sometimes well most of the time I take it too far. I was not really picked on as a kid too harshly as some have but I guess I was always the fat friend, the fall back. I would so badly wanna be just a normal type person, but somehow I seemed to get the short end of the stick as they say. I had no brothers or sisters until I was 11 going on 12 (just stared 6th grade at the same time) and I always felt different because of that and I would always wonder why. I had a last name that was sort of uncommon and I would hardly say it because it was just another difference that I saw. I heard a girl I liked had a crush on me and when I tried to ask her out she said no and I just figured it was cause I was husky. I took steps to correct what I saw wrong but the "possible" reactions always played hell on my thoughts. Sometimes I was right but other times nothing major happened. I just needed to write this because I am out to leave and something happened that brought up so harsh memories, I needed to vent or it would cause me to have a chip on my sholder all night.

Im over some of these things and have had an equal number of events happen to me that will never be able to be explained but still whenever I want to go somewhere or do something its always in my mind "what if?" Its like my mind never stops

HowAboutNoScott HowAboutNoScott
22-25, M
Mar 13, 2010