2005

Let me paint you a picture.



I wake up and it feels as if the muscles within my body have swollen, tightening against the bones and the body, every motion triggering those uncontrollable sobs. Everything feels so heavy. I have my father run the bath water for me, for I can't manage to do so myself, figuring a hot bath would loosen up some of the tension. The water scorches my icy skin, but I am more concerned in how I am to get back up. Why does getting back up always have to be the most difficult part? I'd hate for anyone to see me as I was. I'm supposed to be the strong one. I just want to be weak for once, so that someone else can be strong enough to cure me. Instead, I'm left, burnt out of my appetite and of my sanity. I'm so tired, I just want to lay down in the gutter and sleep and never wake up, or wake up somewhere else, where the past year has been nothing but a nightmare I won't remember. Excuse me if I still fantasize about waking up in your arms. Excuse me if I'm selfish.


I'll keep waking up.
ashlynnx ashlynnx
26-30, F
Aug 5, 2010