Peeling Back the Rind

Dizzy all the time - vertigo sways me deep inside
Like a mast on a ship making wide arcs through the storm
My eyes when closed see fantastic objects
Columns of texts in unfamiliar and ancient languages
Scroll before my sight
Unusual sounds become colorful and contorting shapes
Randomly flashing in and out, dancing or moving chaotically
A vibration and sense of being outside of time
Fantastic and difficult to explain imagery
as well as deep foreboding and fear of retribution
A witch stands before me - leering
Unholy and full of malice

Blood spontaneously pours from my nose
I awake to find blood on my pillow
And while sitting the crimson stream pours out
Food tastes metallic - like aluminum dust mixed with copper
I eat automatically, like an animal gulping down

Sweating and sleep in the middle of the day
Like a trance or a hypnotic state

I find I do have a choice - the fleeting cascade boils down on my imagination and froths
But I can choose to consider the holy scriptures
I can meditate on the Word of God
This I find to be my only path back to sanity
The raging maelstrom whips around the periphery of my mind
But peace comes to me by remembering the Words of God
Committed to memory long ago

I know I'll come out the other side a better creature
Going through this difficult process is certainly a challenge
I take responsibility and confess my consistent wrongdoings
For if I walked a perfect life like a righteous man
There would be no place for the madness I helped create
Over a lifetime

I can feel, perceive, and visualize the exposing of the black and ugly rind
Pried and peeling slowly and painfully off me
Splitting away, to reveal more and more ugliness
Like tough thick rotting black and crimson bark
Being peeled with much effort from around a massive tree
To reveal an ebony surface below, pure and purified

I am thankful to God the tree is not being hewn down
Nor is it being burned in the fire
Nor is is being turned for evil purposes
Nor has disease afflicted its branches
My roots cling with all their strength
to the promise of hope that comes from God
I cling to His Word and pray continually
That I may become a servant of honor
And leave my dishonor far behind in the sea of forgetfullness

by Compelled Three
 

compelled3 compelled3
46-50, M
Mar 8, 2009