My Penis RemovalI was willingly castrated about six years ago because of my desire to rid myself of testosterone and its effects upon me. I believe I’m a MtF transsexual though I’ve never been diagnosed as such. However, after my castration I slowly began to imagine myself without a penis or any genitals. The incessant desire to have my penis removed pushed me over the edge recently and I enlisted the help of a woman body piercer. I know it’s going to be hard for some people to believe, but if you’re a frustrated MtF transsexual who wants to get rid of his maleness, you’ll understand. Since I knew this woman body piercer for some time, getting multiple piercing from her, I thought I’d try to get her to help me. I also knew she’d been down on her luck and could use some extra money. She’s older, divorced, probably late thirties or early forties with some children and the deadbeat dad skips on child support. She’s also a little ghoulish and freaky. So I bought an elastrator and a ratcheting PVC pipe cutter, along with some disinfecting supplies. I knew she had rubber gloves and I took $500.00 out of my bank account in $20’s. I knew she was usually alone when the Piercing Palace opened up on Wednesdays and that most of the time no one ever came in right at the opening. I also knew that in order for the band or bands not to slip off, I wanted a shaft ampallang piercing at the ba
I got out, took my bag of goodies, and walked inside. Sheena heard me come and said, “Oh, please have a seat, I’ll be with you in a minute.” She opened the cash register, read what looked like a note and then just as she called me up, the phone rang. I politely walked back and waited, I watched her without staring. Then I heard her say, “How much?” Then there was silence and finally, “O.K., go a head and fix it, I can’t get to work without it.” She looked at me and motioned for me to come up. I said, “Hi Sheena,” how are you? “Well, not so good, my car needs a bunch of stuff and it’s going to cost me a bundle.” “Sorry to hear that,” I said. “Yeah, I’ll have to work some over time to pay for it. Now, what can I do for you?” she said. I was a little startled by her question, but then I composed myself and said, “Sheena, I’ve been coming here off and on for a while and you know that I’m castrated.” “Yes,” she said. “Well, maybe we can help each other.” I pulled the $500.00 wad out of my pocket. Her eyes got big. “O.K., now you’ve got my interest,” she said. “Well, I need your help, I want to get rid of my penis and I’ll give you $500.00 dollars if you help me remove it.” She tilted her head back, grabbed the back of the bar stool and sat down. Finally she said, “I don’t do that kind of thing, I’ll go to jail.” But before she could say anything else I said, “Who’s going to know? Just me and you, and I’m not going to say anything to anyone. It’ll only take a few minutes, I’ve got all the tools, I know what I’m doing, I’ve planned it all out, I just can’t cut it off myself. Please!” Sheena stood up and walked to the end of the counter and came around. She looked me in the eye and said, “You’ll give me $500.00 for doing this?” “Yes,” I said and no one will know. She looked at the $500.00 dollars and then turned to look me in my eyes, “Let me see the tools.” I pulled out the elastrator and the PVC pipe cutter. She took them both from me and after examining them, she said, “How does this cutting thing work? I can’t get it apart.” I took it from her and opened it up, then handed it back to her. “Don’t touch the blade, it’s extremely sharp.” “Yeah, I can see that,” she said. “You just squeeze the handle, you’ll hear a click, and that’s the ratcheting mechanism. You keep squeezing and let the tool cut off my penis. Like this…” I took it from her and demonstrated how it worked. “Let me try it.” She pulled the blade open and said, “I just lay your penis down here and keep squeezing?” she said questioningly. “Yes,” I replied. “It won’t stand a chance, will it? It’ll come off quick.” She nodded and then asked, “Will there be a lot of blood?” “No, there will be a little,” I said, “but not much as long as the band stays on.” “How do these work?” she asked, referring the elastrator. Then I explained my plan. First, I said, you’ll give me a shaft ampallang piercing at the ba
“O.K. that was easy. Now help me with this, elasterer?” she asked. “It’s an elastrator,” I replied. I put a band over the prongs, and handed it back to her. Then I told her to squeeze the handles, which she did and the band opened wide. “Wow, that’s kind of cool,” she said looking at me. “O.K., now fish my penis through it and…” Before I could finish, she had the band over the barbell and started closing the handles. She looked back questioningly and I told her, “Now close the handle slowly and push the band off with your fingers.” “Maybe I did the piercing too close to the ba
“Can I ask you a question?” she asked. How many women did you make love too with your penis?” “Some,” I replied. “Did they like it?” “They said they did,” I replied. “What are you going to do with your penis once I cut it off?” “I don’t want it; you can dispose of it or do whatever you want with it.” “Really,” she said. “I can have it?” “Yes,” you can have it. “I think if you stand up, it’ll be easier. I can lay your penis right where it needs to be.” So I stood up and she sat in front of me. She then laid my penis in the jaws of the pipe cutter. “Oops,” we need a basket or a plate to catch it on. So she reached over and grabbed a small bowl and sat it between my feet. Then, finding the exact middle, between the bands, she looked at me and said, “O.K., here goes!” “Slowly,” I replied. She nodded. One squeeze coming up! She then squeezed the handle, click. Looks good, then she squeezed again. Click! I stood there with my hands gripping the back of the table. She squeezed again; click, “Now the blade is touching your penis. It hasn’t broken the skin yet, but the next time I squeeze it’s going to slice into it pretty deep.” Before I could say anything she squeezed the handle again and this time I felt a sharp pain. Click. “Wow that went halfway through! There’s a little blood dripping off both sides, but not much” she said. She grabbed my penis by the tip to lift it up and as I looked down she twisted it from side to side, exposing the cut area. “Can you see?” she said, looking up at me. “Yes, you’re almost there. “Yeah, it should come off this next squeeze,” she said. And then I saw her squeeze the handle again and heard a little crunching sound and my knees buckled and I fell back as she cut my penis off.” The pain was harsh and then I doubled over closing my eyes. She helped me sit down and she didn’t say anything for a minute, but after I composed myself from the shock and initial pain, she said, “I did it,” and then she held my penis up by the tip right in front of my eyes. “It came right off right in my hand. I can’t believe it,” she said. “I cut your penis off! Oh, that was so…ugh, she doubled over and started whimpering. She seemed a little crazed by her deed. After a few moments she said, “I’m sorry, I got this strange quiver in my…” We both stared at my penis and then she said, “Do you want to hold it one last time?” I nodded and took it from her. There was nothing, no feeling, no life. My penis was dead or going to be very soon. The bands were holding and though I was bleeding a little from the stump, nothing was coming out the back of my penis. The bands held it tightly together and there I stood with it. Finally, Sheena asked, “Can I have it now?” I handed it over to her and she grabbed a sandwich bag, pulled it apart and dropped my penis into it, and zipped it close. It looked strange seeing my penis in a sandwich bag. A drop of pre-*** was dripping from it. Then she told me to stay seated for a moment and she’d be right back. When she returned, she didn’t have my penis with her but she politely said, “I put it in the back of the freezer for safe keeping.” “No ones going to believe me unless I can prove it.” Then she said, “Let’s clean up your stump a little.” So she took a cautery pen and touched a few places where it was bleeding. “I have to admit it was easy, too easy really,” and she looked up at me with a strange devilish smile. “You look kinda cool with your penis cut off. You’re bare, no balls, no scrotum, and now no penis. I really like the smooth look; well I guess I’m kind of partial.” She stood up and immediately pulled her pants and underwear down. She was clean shaven and her labia glistened in the light, a small coy fish design encircled her mons. It was beautiful to just look at, but I would never be able to penetrate it, she had cut my penis off. “Hey I don’t have to be afraid of you raping me,” she giggled. “Look,” the only difference now is that I’ve got a slit, my lips are a little puffier, but we look the same! Can I take a picture of us?” “Sure,” I said. She got her cell phone and sat down close to me. She held the camera up, focused it and snapped a few pictures. “I’m glad you’ve got the word “eunuch” tattooed above where your penis used to be. That’ll clear things up when people ask questions!” She pulled up her underwear and pants, and then tapped a bandage over my stump, we’ll it wasn’t even a stump, the bar was stopping the remains of my penis from retracting into my body. Then she told me I’d better get to the ER. So I put my pants on, handed her the $500.00 and was about to leave when Sheena reached out and kissed my cheek, saying, “Thanks,” you made my day, I’ll never forget this.” I just nodded and walked out the door. I felt a little lighter then when I walked in.
At the ER I just signed in and said I had pain in my groin. After 20 minutes or so I was ushered back into a side room where a nurse took my vitals and plagued me with questions, finally I just told her that my penis had been cut off and I allowed it to happen. She jumped up and ran out. Finally another nurse and a woman doctor came in. “Are you telling us the truth? Your penis was cut off?” “Yes,” I replied and I allowed it. The doctor said, “O.K., let’s have a look.” They handed me a gown. I undressed and put it on. When they came back in, the doctor made me lie down. Then the doctor lifted up my gown and looked up at the nurse. She sent the nurse out and then she began to ask me questions. “When were you castrated and why did you allow someone to cut your penis off?” I told her I got castrated because I was tired of my sexual urges and I allowed someone to cut my penis off because I was sick of it. It didn’t work and I didn’t want it. Well, she got a urologist who removed the barbell and after a thorough check of what was left of my plumbing he said, “We have a few options, I can redirect the flow of your urine by making a new urinary exit in your perineum, close to your anus and then stitch the stump of you penis closed. Is that acceptable?” he asked. “What’s the other option?” I replied. “I can cut the suspensory ligament, pull the remains of you penis down through where your scrotum once was so that you’ll be able to urinate standing up. It’ll give you two, maybe three inches of penis,” he said. “No,” I replied. “I want you to remove the rest of my penis, I don’t want any of it to remain. Then you can redirect my urethra down below.” He sat there for a moment and finally said, “Well,” I guess if you’ve already been castrated and partially penectomized, it’s not going to matter.” So he walked out, a nurse came in and prepped me for surgery. They gave me a spinal block so I was awake for the surgery and I was able to watch the nurses and doctors remove all of my penis. After that I was put in a recovery room with another person. This guy had a gunshot wound to his lower abdomen. I heard one of the nurses say, “Their two peas in a pod,” so I knew he was missing some or all of his genitals. I spent three weeks in the psych ward, but they finally allowed me to leave because they determined I was no longer a danger to myself or to anyone else. There was nothing else to lose and everything had healed up pretty well. Funny thing, it was Wednesday and I thought, “Wonder if Sheena’s working?”
I drove up to the Piercing Palace and sure enough Sheena was there with one customer who quickly left. She ran up to me and said, “How are you doing? Did everything go alright? Are you all healed up?” “Want to see?” I asked her. “I sure do!” So I quickly went back to one of the piercing booths and dropped my pants! She asked me, “Can you get up on the table, this is so interesting!” “Wow, you are so smooth down there. It’s like you never had a penis or testicles, or even a scrotum! There’s nothing. I’d love to give you a little piercing where your penis once was, there’s enough skin.” “O.K.” I said, but just as I said it, she ran out. Then she came back with her hands behind her back. Guess what I still got! Then she showed me my penis! “Look, it’s as hard as a popsicle.” She handed it to me and I got to examine my penis for the last time. “I hope it’s alright, I told some close friends about cutting it off; they didn’t believe me until I showed it to them. They were in awe! I handed it back to her and said, “It’s yours Sheena, you can do whatever you want with it!” “Thanks, can I tell you something?” she asked. “Sure,” I said. “Well, I used it.” “You used it?” “Yeah, like in sex, me and my girlfriend. It’s frozen solid and even though it small, we used it. I hope you don’t mind, you can have it back if you don’t want me to use it.” I thought about it for a moment and said, “I think it’s great that someone’s getting some use out of it!” “We do too, and what’s funny is that it’s like a real human *****.” I hope we can keep using it for a long time.
bethkamolski 41-45, F 5 Responses 11 Aug 15, 2012