My Classical Guitar, My Lost Love

I became good enough after 8 years to play professionally. Still, it took a lot of practice, and I eventually suffered repetitive stress issues. This happened at the same time I needed to make some decisions about my choice of careers.

I was frightened that if I chose to be a classical guitarist and the carpal tunnel injury kept recurring, that I'd be left without a means to make a living. So, I gave it up -- slowly at first, but then I stopped playing all together.

I still have my guitar -- she sits in an alcove built into the wall especially for her, but has remained silent now for decades. I wonder if her voice is the same as before, or if she'll let me caress her as I once did. Can she still sing? Can my hands ever be worthy of her again? I have her body, but I have lost her voice.

I know it's too late for me to go back, because I know how good I was, and how long it will likely take for me to be anywhere near as good again -- assuming the injuries to my hands don't prevent the process. So, I admire others who have made careers of playing classical guitar, and I harbor jealousy and respect for those who play so beautifully!

I still dream of playing my guitar, especially after hearing someone like Phillip Hii play something like Bach's Toccata and Fugue ... at least I play in my dreams!
auroramaru auroramaru
46-50, F
9 Responses Jan 16, 2013

jagandvstan, classical guitar is mostly about technique -- making some of the required sounds isn't all that intuitive, or it wasn't for me. i taught myself for about 6 years, then took lessons. coincidentally, i did that for restaurant work, too. ;)

I have an Ovation guitar that I tried teaching myself to play on. Do you have any recommendations on how to learn? I would just love to serenade you and others with folk or classical guitar melodies.

chantellette, you always inspire me -- thank you!

As a student i played gipsy melodies on my violin with a friens, to recompensate our missing monthly money. After I finished my professinal studys I had toleaave my violin alone for lack of time to study. So i know what you are going through. And guess what, at 72 I am building violins, finished 4 off them and play them to tune them. So never say never. And yes my fingers forgot Bach, but im am very rewarded doing what i do. You never know!! xoxo

oldjack, the problem is that when i play, i grow frustrated at being unable ... i listen to others, in awe and appreciation of what they can do. that entertains me! but you know what i mean when you say that your fingers don't move like they used to!

railfan, even with encouragement, i still feel a sense of shame at neglecting her for so long. it's interesting how inanimate objects take on sentience when we are ashamed of ourselves! i still can't let her go, but i hope that when you do let the guild -- and perhaps then the fender -- go, you can do it magnanimously!

I feel for you, I played professionally for 25 years and while I no longer play for the money I still have alittle fun with my guitars. My fingers just don't move like they used to.

I hope you get to play again if only to intertain yourself.

I can empathize with you. Haven't played my Guild in several years and if my EP girlfriend didn't encourage me, my Fender would be sitting as well.

lukes, it is, and i feel guilt every time i pass by her. while not a corpse, i feel like i should have sold her or given her away to someone else, but i never had the nerve to do that.