What Be Mightier Than A Sword "words"

I am a logical overanalytical obsessing individual If ever you are to find a person who studies his use of words its me...
I will think atleast 10 times before I say somthing the majority of the time I even go back and read my stories before posting.
Though I am horrible at grammer. I am not sure why I do this but before I say a statement these proceses happen:

1. Am I right in saying this statement to the person?
2. Will it upset them?
3. What will they say back to me when said?
4. If I am right in saying this is it relavant?
5. Is this the right time to say this?

Also even after all this I still reanalyze those steps over and over and I even sit at home alone thinking and thinking...
The only way I can stop this craziness is music and....thank! Disturbed and Seether there is Music in life! I would go more insane than I already am if there wasnt. There is no need for me to think as much as I do... Some say its good but for me I think way too much about words and my mind can be a dark place thats why I tend to write depessing poetry. Although after writing it, it has a tendancy of making me feel better... I have been avoiding my thoughts and words as much as I can. Which is one of the reasons that I have not been on Ep. I still talked to the very few I hold dear but words have been my enemy because I fear my thoughts....My mind keeps replaying my past and words like "Dark", "Horrible", "Hell" and so forth keep repeating themselves. I have had my Angel help me through all this but still I feel the need to fill my time as much as possible the inevitable time when I do sit and think I become upset...So do I keep doing what I'm doing and fill my time and talk with my closest few only... and never let my mind have time to dwell or do I give myself the time to think and be stuck with my sadness and the dark words that are waiting to come haunt me with every second to pass?
dejin1 dejin1
22-25, M
2 Responses Feb 6, 2012

dj understanding what you are thinking and saying is great but know that anger is apart of your syci right now. it is okay to question but it would help if you let all of the words pour out. it will come in time. for you will need something to grasp too. it just is not time and it will take time. don't be so hard on your self it is good to monitor what you say for most just say with out thought. some just are at a loss for words that is normal. but most of all words express how much someone cares even if they do not have the right ones.

No wonder you don't say stuff I want to hear, like all that I wrote in that story I sent you due to which I won the title :P