My Decline Into........

Hi everyone, My story, normal childhood parents still alive and married. started using drugs at 15 i am now 56 bad idea recommend it to no one. Married young 21 2 kids wife divorced me after 10 yrs. Single for 15 married again in 2002 she left me in 2010. That's the flow of things now here is the rest. Have bad hips had pins put in my left one at 15 dealt with severe pain until 93 had hip replaced never used any pain pills. Now my right hip needs replaced decided to get on pain pills from my family doctor so as of right now i am hooked on them completely. Also i was not "happy" years ago so same doctor put me on Prozac for depression with no test what so ever then after no improvement he changed me to effexor. I stopped them once had my first panic attack. When i got that felling off the pain pills i thought that's it that's how i want to feel. Well between the dependency on the pain pills taking antidepressants when i don't know if i have anxiety disorder or bipolar or both and my wife leaving me and me being 56 i feel its over. I have no close friend that are not drunks or just not good friends to talk to. I have a place for therapy but i cannot afford it that's another issue money. Also i cant see a granddaughter that is a step that kills me. i'm rambling my life is just S... and i need somebody thanks for listing
modoc51 modoc51
56-60, M
May 21, 2012