I'm Going to Try and See My Grandchildren

I haven't had any contact with my poor grandkids in 11 months.  I took a deep breath and went to see them last Saturdayand was surprised that they wanted to see me. Fortunately I didn't have to have contact with their drug addict alcoholic mother so there was no confrontation.  I told them that I would come back for them today and maybe they will be able to stay the weekend.  There is no school on Monday.  This is a totally different scenario than my just happening upon my granddaughter coming outside and the boys being next door at the neighbors like last time.  I will have to go to their home and I dread it cause that means having to deal with HER!!  She is a liar and a cheat and a user and she spreads poison about me to anyone who will listen.  I seriously despise the kind of person she is.  She has her moments of being civil and has a great sense of humor but she is also a tyrant, is spiteful, jealous and vendictive when it suits her.  I intend to maintain my cool and not let her bait me into an argument that will manipulate me to walk away and stay gone for another 11 months.  I gave her power over me when I let that happen and I shouldn't done that cause she got what she wanted and it was her children and me that suffered the consequences of her childishness and drug haze.  Being able to keep the children again is important to me and she knows it and it gives her a TOOL to control me just like always or so she THINKS.  She no longer has that kind of strength over me now.  My ability to stay away from them is due to my having a neutrality in regards to seeing them or not.  I called a few times but she would never let me speak to them and hung up on me and after the fourth time trying I stopped.  That was 11 months ago.  I am in a different place now emotionally and financially and I want to get my grandma relationship with my grandchildren back to the level of closeness that it was at before their mother lost her mind and lied to them about what she does and cut me off so that I wouldn't be able to show them the truth.  That is what my separation from them was about.  Hiding her addiction from them.  Makes no sense to me.  They have already been homeless and maltreated because of her drug and alcohol problems and she chose to cut them off from the security and strong love and affection of their grandma for the sake of keeping her "secret".  She is a selfish idiot.  They live in filth now.  I used to keep their house clean and encouraged them to help out to maintain it and when I visited the house the other day to check on them because I wanted to give my oldest a brithday gift and he hadn't been in school I saw the filth was back and it was terrible.  Trash and junk all over the yard and the door is nasty dirty and it's just bad there.  I didn't get an answer when I knocked but I know how bad the inside was because it's always bad.  Having them stay with me gave them a clean safe environment for a couple of days and they like it.  She'd cuss them out for asking to come over to my house all the time and I got on her about that.  She is so jealous and will make them suffer rather than let them have decency with their grandma. Her attitude towards my oldest is abusive as far as I am concerned.  He has threatened to run away countless times and has tried to do so a couple of times because of how she treats him.  He says he's coming to my house to live with me and doesn't want to live with her anymore.  She sees me as a threat because he loves me and wants to live with me.  If she treated him better he wouldn't want to leave home but she trasehs him all the time.  I've seen it and he talks to me about things.  I've intervened on his behalf pointing out that whatever the incident at the time it wasn't his responsibility but the youngest childs and she wouldn't even apologize to the oldest one for the mistake that she made.  I would hug him and tell him it's okay.   I've learned a lot being a single parent and more patience being a grand parent.  Hopefully things will go well and I will get them for the weekend and work things out.  I DO NOT WANT AYTHING TO DO WITH THEIR MOTHER!!!!   

Comprehensive2 Comprehensive2
2 Responses Feb 14, 2009

*crossing my fingers* I hope things will go well!

God bless you all and I hope you get to see them as needed.