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More Semi-reclusive Than Reclusive

A lot of the stories I've read on this site depict people who are recluses but do not really wish to be. I do and I am and have more or less been semi-reclusive most of my adult life.

During the time that I interacted *very* socially with other people, I did so because everything that I read and heard about recluse behavior was bad; it's abnormal, something is mentally wrong, blah, blah, blah. This outlook made me question myself. Then - I accepted myself and became much happier and more contented.

I seldom had problems getting along with people in my job and part of my job was to communicate with many people within diverse groups. I worked hard, was efficient, did my job well and even received awards. But, my personal life was my own.

Sure, it's nice to have friends... as long as they are really friends. What I have found in my 68 years of living is that real friends are scant. People who accept you as you are, who do not use you, and who practice common decency are short in supply in this society. Most humans have many personality problems due to their childhood history, their zealous religious beliefs, and their cultural beliefs. Fortunately, there are those people who have enough intelligence to overcome their discriminatory teachings and directions and use reason to guide them in their lives, doing the best that they can ethically and morally. But... they are the true minority.

For those reasons, I have chosen my semi-reclusive life. I'm highly functional. I have no problems dealing with those with whom I must deal - service providers, etc, visiting my grown children and the few friends that I have, having them visit me, grocery shopping and other errands.

The above is as social as I get. For entertainment I read, I have hobbies, I explore the internet for items of interest, and I have an on-line private journal where I record the activities of each day. I live alone and lead a very quiet and calm life without the interruptions of phone calls and unwanted guests... or a spouse or "partner".

I truly like my semi-reclusive life. Some could say my life is boring; perhaps to them it is but I'm never bored. Lonely sometimes? Seldom, but sure, I'm lonely sometimes but isn't everyone lonely sometimes? Even when they have someone living with them? Even when they are surrounded by people?

So you may ask, why am I here? Perhaps to give other semi-reclusive people hope; to let them know that just because they have chosen to stay unto themselves doesn't make them freaks or full of phobias. To let them know that a person can lead this kind of life just because THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT TO DO.



Retiree2003 Retiree2003 66-70 5 Responses Apr 8, 2011

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I find the second to last paragraph interesting... People have asked me whether about the "being lonely"... I usually say to them that there is a great difference between being alone and being lonely.
As for being a "recluse" ... I'm in sales... it's my job to listen to people all day long... It's a relief to be able to switch off and being able to consider on MY needs and desires when I get home!

This makes more sense to me than most things I have read. I feel bad because I have become more reclusive and I struggle to find 'close' friends like during my high school and college years. People just don't seem to want to be best friends anymore. I have friends who have tons of people around them, but none of them are close friends. They basically 'play to the crowd'. I hate that and consider it phony. I try very hard to start groups etc. and they never seem to provide satisfaction. Perhaps I need to do as you do and be happy with a semi-reclusive life. I have a husband and he is the same way - semi-reclusive. Your post has given me a lot to think about today. Thank you.

I too like to be a recluse. I go out, take a walk. I am never bored. Sometimes I find I do not have enough time in the day to do the things I have to. I paint and draw and that in itself takes a good long few hours. I do not watch television. Just a load of junk on the box. I chat with friends online and write on my blog. So life is really what you make of it.

thanks for the post.this is the most positive thing i have read.i have family and a spouse,hold down a job.but my life is my own out of work.but to prefer the private life.have struggled in my twenties and thirties to go out and fit in.but to be honest definatley not me.i prefer the quiet life and contrary to popular belief their is nothing wrong with it.once you accept that your a lot happier.

Agree completly! Thanks for posting. I want to live a reclusive lifestyle but have a family etc.. and feel I just need to bide my time so I can live how I truly need to live. I do cherish all the time alone I can get.