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I Prefer To Dress My Son As A Girl

My son Curtis is a frail skinny little thing with thin delicate features and straight fine shoulder length blonde hair. He's never been a rough and tumble sort of boy, he prefers playing pretend games and he likes drawing and doing other kinds of art projects and he likes cooking with me and helping me with the chores around the house. He doesn't like things to be messy and actually enjoys cleaning up and "making things neat" as he puts it. His room is always very orderly. He has a very sweet and delicate way about him and isn't into wrestling or playing "Army men" or "Cops and Robbers" or other traditionally boyish games like this. And though he likes his little toy cars and his Lego's he also has a thing for horses and has a collection of toy horses and My Little Pony toys. He also has some Groovy Girl dolls that he likes playing with and though he doesn't officially have a dollhouse he does have this really cool wooden tree house that was made in Switzerland that I bought for him for Christmas a few years ago and he has an assortment of little wooden people, animals, and furniture that go along with the tree house. There's even little wooden plants and a toy planter boxes with holes for the plants to go in so he can pretend the little people have their own organic garden. It's so sweet to watch him play with his little wooden people and make up these elaborate stories about what they're doing. Unfortunately when other boys have been over to play they criticize his toys and tease him for playing with "girls toys" so he brings out his Lego's and hos toy cars but I can see that he's disappointed that other boys won't play with his tree house or his My Little Pony toys. But when girls come over to play he's right at home with them and they play with his My Little Pony toys and they play with his Groovy Girl dolls and with the tree house and all the little wooden people and he's happiest little boy in the world because the girls don't criticize him and make fun of him for his choices in what toys he likes.

I've always encouraged him to be himself, to embrace his natural demeanor and personality, I've never tried to make him into more of a boy and when he's asked for toys like Groovy Girl dolls and My Little Pony horses I've bought them for him without question because I really don't see anything wrong with a boy playing with these kinds of toys.

So about a year ago when Curtis had just turned six (he's seven now) we went to visit a friend of mine with two daughters about Curtis' age who had just recently become a single mother due to a divorce with her deadbeat husband. We visited for one week and Curtis was perfectly happy and comfortable having two girls to play with. On the second day we were there the girls dressed him as a princess and I could not believe how adorable he was in that pink little princess dress! He had the cutest shy little smile on his face as he and the girls came out to show off his 'new outfit'. The girls were also dressed and princesses and I didn't break out in laughter or ask why he was wearing a dress I took him in my arms and gave him hugs and kisses and told him that he looked absolutely precious and adorable and he giggled and laughed and twirled about the living room with the girls and I could see in his eyes how much he was enjoying being in that adorable little princess dress.

The girls brought him outside and three of them went dancing twirling and running all over the front and back yards of the house and Curtis was perfectly happy to be running around outside in a dress. When it came time for lunch we called the kids inside and he was also perfectly happy sitting at the table and eating lunch in the pink princess dress. After lunch the kids played inside for a while in the girls' bedroom and when I checked on them I saw that they were playing with Barbie Dolls and Curtis was very happy sitting there on the floor in a pink princess dress playing with Barbie's so I let him be and didn't say anything. The truth was I found that I really enjoyed seeing my little boy in a cute little dress playing with Barbie Dolls!

By four in the afternoon the kids were in the TV room watching Sponge Bob and all three of them were still in the princess dresses and the dresses stayed on until after dinner when it was time for baths and getting ready for bed. I put Curtis into his regular boy pajamas and asked him if he had a good day and he got a dreamy sort of smile on his face and said that he had more fun than ever. I hugged and kissed him and then read a book to the him and the girls and soon after they were all asleep and when I went to bed that night I thought about how much I enjoyed seeing Curtis being so happy in a pink princess dress.

The next day we had plans to take the kids to a children's museum and to have a picnic at a park near the museum and after breakfast as we were getting the kids dressed I had what I guess could consider to be a bit of a wicked thought. I wanted to see my little boy going around happily dressed as a girl! I'm not sure why other than the fact that he really had fun the day before being a princess all day and I wanted him to be happy and I just couldn't get over how adorable he looked in that dress. It just seemed to fit his personality so well and with his long straight fine blonde hair and his delicate thin features he looked more like a girl than a boy already but especially when he was running around in a pink dress. So as I helped Curtis out of his pajamas I said to him, "You know Curtis, it's a really hot day out today. I think that you'd be much more comfortably of you wore a dress today instead of your pants and t-shirt."

Curtis gave me an inquiring look and I glanced over at my friend and she gave me a surprised sort of smile shrugged her shoulders and said, "Why not? I'm sure the girls won't mind lending a dress to him for the day."

The girls thought this was a great idea and they started taking dresses out of their closet that he could wear and soon Curtis was overwhelmed with choices of dresses that he could wear but before he tried any of them on I said that he needed to have appropriate underwear if he was going to wear a dress and I took his Spider-man underpants off of him and looked in the girls’ underwear drawer for some panties. Curtis is such a sweet and innocent little boy that he didn't really care that the girls were seeing him naked, he just stood there and waited for me to get him some underwear and I just couldn't help myself, I chose a pair of bright pink panties that had a little white bow in the front and I held them up and said, "I think these will be nice for you" and I helped Curtis put them on and we all noticed how he ran his hands all over the panties and touched the little bow with his thin finger.

Next he tried on several dresses and he really loved twirling about the room in them and looking at himself in the mirror and after about forty five minutes of trying different dresses on he settled on a cute little sundress that had pastel stripes in plaid patterns all over it and tied in bows at the shoulders with thin straps and had a sash sewn into the middle that tied into a bow in the back. He danced and twirled about and admired himself in the mirror and then I put a pink barrette in his hair and he looked at himself in the full length mirror and held the dresses skirt out and turned around a few times seeing how he looked from all angles and his eyes were sparkling the entire time. He finally said, "Wow, I really look like a girl mommy! This is fun! I like being a girl!" We all cheered when he said this and then we finished getting ourselves ready and soon we were out the door and into my friend’s car and on our way to the Children's museum.

Curtis was in heaven all day long. He was so natural and comfortable in the dress and as far as I could tell no one at the museum suspected anything. He looked like a girl and people just assumed that he was a girl although a few people did overhear one of us call him Curtis a few times and I noticed some funny looks when this happened but we just carried on like all was normal and we all had a wonderful time at the museum. Afterwards we had out picnic in the park and Curtis and the girl's ran around and played on the playground for a couple of hours. Afterwards we went for ice cream and then eventually headed back to my friend’s house. Once we were back home the girls changed their clothes and Curtis changed into a pretty pink blouse and a light purple terry cloth skirt and he exclaimed very loudly that girl's clothes were so much better than boys clothes.

That night I put Curtis into a nightgown and he was absolutely thrilled with it. The next day he expected to dress like a girl again so I had him choose the dress and panties on his own and he chose white panties that had pink hearts printed on them and sparkling trim on the waistband and a pink sundress. We went into town and did some shopping and went to see a movie and again went to a park where the children played together and at one point I saw some boys gathered around Curtis and the girls and I was wondering what it was all about and then Curtis and the girls came running over to us and Sarah,, the older girl (She was eight at this time) said, "People know Curtis is a boy because of his name and those boys over there started to tease him for being a sissy"

We all talked about it and Curtis suggested that we call him Courtney instead so it was decided. So long as Curtis was dressed as a girl we would call him Courtney. It took a little getting used to for all of us including Curtis who didn't even respond to the name Courtney a few times until he was nudged and then he remembered and he laughed about it.

Curtis refused to wear boy clothes for the rest of the visit and spent all his time being dressed as a girl and he was very excited about it. When it was time for us to leave he couldn't stop saying how much of a wonderful time he had but when it came time for him to put boy clothes back on he became really sad. He didn't want to go back to being a boy and the girl's rushed off to their bedroom and came back a few minutes later with two dresses that they said they hardly ever wore and of it was OK with their mother they would like to give them to 'Courtney' as a gift. Their mother smiled and said it was fine and Curtis hugged all them in turn and thanked them profusely. I helped him out of the nightgown he was wearing and into one of the dresses and after more hugs and kisses and goodbyes we got into our car and drove home.

Curtis wanted to wear the dress to bed that night but I wouldn't let him. Instead I gave him a long t-shirt and told him to pretend that it was a nightgown. He wasn't quite so happy with this choice but he was tired and accepted it and went to bed and the next day I put him into the other dress that the girls had given him and brought him to Target and he and I had the time of our lives shopping in the girls section for an entire new wardrobe for my little boy! he was the happiest child on the face of the planet that morning and I spent over two hundred dollars on new girl’s clothing for him - several dresses and skirts, blouses, four packages of girl's panties, a collection of tights, five different nightgowns and I even bought him a pink leotard and a girl's one-piece pink bathing suit with Barbie printed across the front in sparkling letters! We had quite a fashion show that afternoon!

I packed all of Curtis' boy clothes into a suitcase and put it on a corner of his closet and we filled his closet with his new girl clothes and now, more than a year later, Curtis is seven and a half years old and he dresses like a girl all the time. He won't go back to wearing boys clothing. I now there will be issues to deal with as he gets older but for now he is the happiest little boy ever. He decided to keep his name as Curtis because he's not ashamed of being a "boy/girl" as he has coined himself to be and I have him enrolled in a small private school that accepts him as a "girl/boy" and supports his choice in being feminine. The school already had two Tomboys attending - two girls with short boy's haircuts who always dress like boys and prefer to play boys games - one would never know they were girls - and the school embraced the idea of having a boy who prefers dressing and presenting as a girl for the contrast it would create in the classroom and for furthering the teaching of tolerance and acceptance to the other children in the school. Curtis is now best friends with both boys and girls at his school and he is so incredibly happy to be living as a girl even though he has the body of a boy. We've watched the videos together on youtube about transgendered children and he's decided that he must also be transgendered and he's happy that he's not alone.

So that's my story. My "Confession". I chose to put my little boy in girl's clothing because I enjoyed seeing him dressed this way and by doing so I believe that I helped him to discover his true inner nature. Maybe some of the readers here will think I'm a bad mother for telling my son that fateful day that I thought he'd be happier wearing a dress but I believe that I did the right thing, that he's much happier as a girl than he was a boy.
I was looking for somewhere to share this story for my own therapy, to just tell it and put it out there that once I saw my son dressed as a girl I wanted him to stay that way and as it turned out, he prefers it himself, if he didn't like wearing dresses and being like a girl then there’s no way I would of forced it on him but when I saw how happy he was in that pink princess dress I wanted to provide him the opportunity to indulge in feminine clothing, after all he already had always been more feminine than masculine and when he embraced the chance to be like a girl I couldn't help but encourage it so when I came across Experience Project and saw what people are doing here, sharing their stories about their lives I decided to share the story of me and my little boy/girl. If you’re so inspired then please feel free to let me know what you think, even if it’s negative, I can take it because I’m 100% convinced what I did the right thing by my little boy but I’m curious to know how others will react.
jennbaa jennbaa 36-40, F 134 Responses Nov 24, 2012

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He sounds very brave, good on him!

That sounds just like my childhood lol

has your child shown any sexual tendencies towards boys or girls at this point? PM me please

I needed to say how sorry I am. EP on my end only feed me half your story and it made it seam like you had been dressing him since he was a baby to believe he should dress as a girl. I feel aweful. Your a great mom loving and supportive. I am a big enough person. To say I'm wrong I am truly sorry your son is lilucky to have you.

I applaud you, my son/daughter has been dressed and treated as a girl from birth. I became pregnant when my husband was shipped off to Iraq. When the baby was born a boy I was so disappointed I became totally depressed. I was so sure it was a girl that I had purchased all girly things, painted the baby room pink and pastel yellow, everything was girly. I made a decision to use what I had and dressed him as a girl. He was so adorable and all the other wives told me what a pretty daughter I had, so I just kept up the façade. I even lied to my husband that we had a daughter. When he returned from Iraq he was a different person, always drinking, loud, obnoxious, and abusive. He was gone within 4 months and I was left to raise my child on my own. I let his hair grow out, kept him in girls things, and lengthened his name from Daryl to Darlene. No one knew any difference, I had a baby girl. That was 7 years ago and I now have a bright, intelligent, happy beautiful daughter. She never even talks about being a boy and seems totally adjusted to her life as a girl. She is In a private all girls school and the school knows of her gender differences. She only brought up the question of her "extra" part once, asking why she was different than all the other girls. I told her they made a mistake when she was born, but when she is old enough we can fix that. I love having a daughter, I love buying all the frilly things, dressing her in pretty dresses, tights, panties and Mary Janes. When the time comes, I will give her T-blockers and then Hormones to allow her to become the beautiful girl she already is. I am saving up for the eventual surgery that will complete her.

Maybe, that's why your husband was so drunken and abusive.Raising your son as girl. That's despicable! I would have left you myself.

There are good reasons why some wives disappear.

unfortunately there are too many men that think like you do, as if you have some right to power over a woman for your own ben ifit. What you are suggesting goes far beyond abuse......

Yes, Ddsmen, this kind of long term psychological trauma goes far beyond regular child abuse.

There are good reasons why ****** like you disappear too.

sorry you feel so strongly. She is very petite and her male appendage is very small. I believe I have taken the right path and saved her from much abuse and humiliation. Perhaps if you had found your feminine side at a young age, you wouldn't believe it was okay to beat on women.

It's never right to beat on women. I would never think of that. However, if a man is predisposed, why give him provocation. If I were her husband, I would have just left.

Parents like you visit their children in a cemetary, and tell a piece of marble or granite how they wish they had done things different. **** you. Btw, hitting a woman for anything other than last resort self defence is never acceptable.

Wow. U need help

I wish my mother had been more like you, mine was big on appearances. I grew up to hate myself, having felt my whole life that my parents were ashamed of me and wished they had someone besides me. I cry when I read things like this, the happy wonderful life I could have had as a girl. I am a seemingly well adjusted, heterosexual, full time crossdresser. The little known truth is im a severely depressed, drug addicted, transsexual who loves men. No one knows I use meth everyday just so I can tolerate being alive. No one knows I want to transition. No one knows I have been with and prefer men. I want to become a female, marry a man, and get off dope. None of those things will be possible, and I will likely take my own life as soon as my faith is lost and I no longer fear hell. I hope its soon.

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Growing up I had a friend who was (probably transgender-ed) but back then they called him a sissy. He would take his sisters clothes and underwear and wear it. Most of the other kids in the neighborhood made fun of him.. but I knew his sister so I didn't. When he was a little older 9/10 his mother got remarried to a real strict guy, and when he got caught wearing his sisters underwear, his step dad spanked him and made him do things.. later he went to live with is aunt out of state. I lost track of him and his sister after middle school.

That is so sad. If that is who the child is then it should be embrassed. I just think it should be there choice. And to start them that way its not a choice it is what they know and therefore are more comfortable in.

Child abuse is evil. Custody needs to be changed.

JM sorry but that's wrong

I didn't mean to be so harsh. If he asked you to that's one thing but if it was your idea then you don't know what he would have grown to be. Lots of me are very feminine but they are still men and glad to be men and proud of that. My closest and favorite cousin was born a girl and is a transgender and now goes by the name of Joe very successful in his life and very happy our family was very supported in any choices she made as a child and any traces she made to become amen we let her make the choice though we never made it for her her brother is gay he didn't want to become a girl.I'm sorry I just think that the way you wrote that you went about it is wrong you placed an idea into his head and it sounds as if you get it young age when he was impressionable and our children natually get much of their happiness from ours and the more happy and secure we are more happy and secure they are I hope your son is happy because in the end that is all that matters I did not mean to be unkind or hurtful and anyway. my 5 year old son also quite enjoys getting dressed up with his sisters and playing dress up but he also really enjoys Power Rangers and wrestling and looking handsome like a young man at first I wondered if that was something he wanted to dress like a girl and be a girl like his sisters I quickly found out that it wasn't about being feminine but it was about the creativity behind getting dressed up different it was not about him wanting to be like a little girl and not be a little boy it was merely the chance to be more creative and that there are not as many options to do so with boys clothing my son is very very creative but he doesn't want to be a girl its just most of the influences in his life or female once he had a man and his life the more of his masculine trades started to showmy fear is that its not accepted by society as a whole and why make growing up for your child even harder than growing up already is and were confusing

She still has that choice and can decide that she wants to live as a boy and I will honor that, but I don't believe she will ever feel that way....

Whats so wrong about it?

Its only wrong if the choice was made for him love. Just like if you were forced to be something your not. If you dress a boy as a girl from the start us that him making the choice or who dressed him. I think you dress them according to what there born as until they decide differently and if they do you embrace it with themwhat's wrong with it is the freedom of choice

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Such a wonderful, genuine, heartwarming story. No doubt, this is the best thing for your little one. (I wasn't transgendered growing up, nor am I today, but being dressed and treated like a pretty sissy girly panty boy made my entire boy body shake with excitement like nothing else did, or still does!

Everything makes sense to a point in your story. He is always a male. Now he is a male wearing comfortable clothing. That does not make anyone feminine. I wear dresses or skirts over a panty as a man who can emphatically state that it will be a very cold day in hell before I want any feminine characteristics. I am a testosterone-filled man who wears comfortable clothing.

please consider adding me to your circle, I think you are a great mom. I wish I had that kind of support when I was young.

WOW! I think you are a wonderful mom, giving him the choice of what clothes to wear, but on the other hand, I would be worried about the bullying he will get at school, or after school. Perhaps a better idea would be to home school him if he wants to dress as a girl. I
At school, which gym class does he go to and which change room does/will he use. He certainly can't use the girls change room, and if he uses the boys room, I think he may get hurt.
What ever your decision, good on you girl, and all the best in the future. Please keep us updated as time goes on as to how things are going. CHEERS!

It sounds to me like Curtis is a person we would call transgendered today. More and more young children are coming out with the idea that their minds are of the opposite gender from their physical bodies. If you go on Youtube and look for videos from the CBS program "60 Minutes" you will find several in this category. In particular, look for videos about a child named Jazz who was born a boy but decided she was really a girl in a boy's body when she was five years old. Jazz is a few years older than Curtis, so watching those videos may give you some idea what is ahead for both Curtis and you in the coming years. I believe there is also some contact information to organizations of parents of transgendered children like Jazz and Curtis.

Trying to put a lot of scientific research in a short summary, researchers studying how children learn have definitely concluded there are both anatomical and physiological differences between boys brains and girls brains but they need to do a lot more research to determine exactly what those differences are and how they work. Also, most doctors now agree all fetuses start off as female, then early in the pregnancy some change to male. Nature is not always perfect, so it is reasonable to assume that in some cases, such as Curtis, the body changes from female to male resulting in an apparent boy who feels s/he should be a girl. Similarly, there are cases where the brain changes from female to male while the body remains female, resulting in apparent girls who feel they should have been born as boys.

I noted your comment about Curtis saying God made him the way he is. I can relate very much to this. I have male anatomy but I have always had a definite feminine side in me. I was in my 30s when I came to the realization that God made me the way I am to fill a definite purpose in His Divine Plan, although I may never know what that Divine Plan is in this life. This did not come to me in any great revelation, but came to me over several years.

Curtis is very fortunate to have your acceptance of him they way he is. He also has a Heavenly Father who accepts him just as you do.

That is a crock of horse manure. Real men wear skirts and dresses just as real women wear pants. I always wear a skirt or a dress and I am damn certain that I do NOT want to be a female. It is just a choice for comfortable clothing. Nothing more.

Do real men actually believe that everyone has the same feelings about everything as they do? I wear skirts and dresses most of the time too, and im damn certain I do want to be a female.

whether you think you did the right or wrong thing, your right. it is absolutely fine if you are trying to make your som happy. howevr i do think that you should have said, "you had los of fun in that dress yesterday, do you want to do it again?" indstead of making up a reson like "it's hot today" scince it makes hom happy let him do it until it becomes a problem. up a reason like "it's hot today" scince i

Wearing a skirt or a dress has no affect on your gender identity unless you are mentally ill. A man who has functioning testicles can wear a skirt or a dress without exhibiting any of those sissy wimp characteristics.

you are a very mean man. I'm glad that you don't want to be a woman, I wouldn't want someone like you being my gender. Come to think of it, you're not a man either. You are just a hater!!!

You're right when you say you did the right thing. You did what every parent should do and that is to embrace your child's decisions and encourage their curiosities without pushing them into doing what the world thinks to be right.

Thanks to your support, your child will become successful in many things and will make you proud.

you are a great mom i wish i had a mom like you

What a cute story. You make your son happy so that's great.

why would you do that to your son

Jenbaa explained herself very clearly. Her motivations and her son's desire to try this were easy to see in her story. This may be impossible for you to imagine, but there are people, who at that age, know that they are not cisgendered and want to explore their gender identity.

Bravo to Jenbaa for her measured response and her loving support for her son!

Your right trust me I held it in I didn't have a supportive mother like you to let me make that choice I was to afraid to come out and now I have to hide it for the rest of my life I always regret not telling someone when I was little you did a great thing you made his life so much easier you are a wonderful mother

Your story is awesome and I enjoyed reading it. I'm a woman but I'm trapped in a man body. I would live to dress the way I feel inside; a woman. It is really hard living this way. My heart goes out to you and your little girl.

So very great I wish you were my mom you could have to little boy/girls and id love having him as my little sister

Why would you do that? Please stop the girly stuffs for him for the sake of his long term personality. I mean, he's still a kid, and he'll go along with whatever you presented to him. If you'll guide him to be a man, and become one.

Perhaps you don't understand what is going on here. He -is- who he -is-, not 'who-you-make-him-to-be'. He may continue in this path, or become more traditional. No one can predict his outcome.

Jennbaa is responding to where he is right now, a most loving and supportive gesture. Forcing him to be something he is not will lead to unhappiness, depression or worse.

I like your choices. It seems to me that you have done the right thing for your son. Some boys just cannot be the he-men that they are expected to be. I have read several stories on EP written by mothers that have sons that are miserable but these moms can't do what you have done because of the husbands attitude. Keep on following your mothers intuition and your boy will be a happy, contributing person when he grows up.

i love it...so cute/funny. just wondering have you ever given him a wedgie because i know when i was younger and wore tighty whities (basically the same as panties) my sister gave me wedgies and now i like to put a pair of panties on and get wedgies idk why but i love it. I even give myself them but i like when others give them to me more(hence my stories). My point is maybe he will like them too.

You do what you want........my mother did it too......i was cute.........and i live all my life like that.......and that is complicated.......in the begining :)......and all the way

Wow Jen you are a great lady you must really love Curtis and he must be very happy well done. I really think that we should live as we feel and not as others say we should live.
Steve

Sounds like your using your son to be the daughter you never had. He's probably just like that because he realises that you approve of it. I'm not saying you should try to change him. And its totally fine for little boys to play with horses and dolls. But how much of it is your influence?? Have you ever gotten him a "family" of super hero dolls? Or maybe a little farm set with horses, instead of my little ponies? I'm sure he's a great kid and some boys are less masculine but you shouldn't encourage him to "be a girl". The panties... the complete girls clothing... i dont know. Maybe he is a little more girly than most boys and thats OK. but are you supporting his feminine qualities?, or are you taking them and turning him in to a girl? I'm not judging your decisions as his mother, but i have friends who were in his position and it was forced on them. Just my experience and some things to think about.

sorry but my brother was the same way and he wanted to wear dresses and nail polish and my did wouldn't allow it so my mom would paint them clear but he wanted colors and it made life harder for him because he was pretending to be what he wasn't and it has had negative affects ever since. trust me, if he didn't want to be girly he wouldn't have gotten in the princess dress on his own in the first place! he wanted to be a girl she just said "yes its ok" and most parents wont do that for there child!

What a great Mother he must really love you !!! There are so many little boy out here that would have been so much better off if there mothers would have opened there eyes and did what was best for there child

I think your son is a lucky boy/girl and I think you must be a world class Mom...good for you.

how many gurls dying of envy hearing such a wonderful story.

hey'why ???