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I Prefer To Dress My Son As A Girl

My son Curtis is a frail skinny little thing with thin delicate features and straight fine shoulder length blonde hair. He's never been a rough and tumble sort of boy, he prefers playing pretend games and he likes drawing and doing other kinds of art projects and he likes cooking with me and helping me with the chores around the house. He doesn't like things to be messy and actually enjoys cleaning up and "making things neat" as he puts it. His room is always very orderly. He has a very sweet and delicate way about him and isn't into wrestling or playing "Army men" or "Cops and Robbers" or other traditionally boyish games like this. And though he likes his little toy cars and his Lego's he also has a thing for horses and has a collection of toy horses and My Little Pony toys. He also has some Groovy Girl dolls that he likes playing with and though he doesn't officially have a dollhouse he does have this really cool wooden tree house that was made in Switzerland that I bought for him for Christmas a few years ago and he has an assortment of little wooden people, animals, and furniture that go along with the tree house. There's even little wooden plants and a toy planter boxes with holes for the plants to go in so he can pretend the little people have their own organic garden. It's so sweet to watch him play with his little wooden people and make up these elaborate stories about what they're doing. Unfortunately when other boys have been over to play they criticize his toys and tease him for playing with "girls toys" so he brings out his Lego's and hos toy cars but I can see that he's disappointed that other boys won't play with his tree house or his My Little Pony toys. But when girls come over to play he's right at home with them and they play with his My Little Pony toys and they play with his Groovy Girl dolls and with the tree house and all the little wooden people and he's happiest little boy in the world because the girls don't criticize him and make fun of him for his choices in what toys he likes.

I've always encouraged him to be himself, to embrace his natural demeanor and personality, I've never tried to make him into more of a boy and when he's asked for toys like Groovy Girl dolls and My Little Pony horses I've bought them for him without question because I really don't see anything wrong with a boy playing with these kinds of toys.

So about a year ago when Curtis had just turned six (he's seven now) we went to visit a friend of mine with two daughters about Curtis' age who had just recently become a single mother due to a divorce with her deadbeat husband. We visited for one week and Curtis was perfectly happy and comfortable having two girls to play with. On the second day we were there the girls dressed him as a princess and I could not believe how adorable he was in that pink little princess dress! He had the cutest shy little smile on his face as he and the girls came out to show off his 'new outfit'. The girls were also dressed and princesses and I didn't break out in laughter or ask why he was wearing a dress I took him in my arms and gave him hugs and kisses and told him that he looked absolutely precious and adorable and he giggled and laughed and twirled about the living room with the girls and I could see in his eyes how much he was enjoying being in that adorable little princess dress.

The girls brought him outside and three of them went dancing twirling and running all over the front and back yards of the house and Curtis was perfectly happy to be running around outside in a dress. When it came time for lunch we called the kids inside and he was also perfectly happy sitting at the table and eating lunch in the pink princess dress. After lunch the kids played inside for a while in the girls' bedroom and when I checked on them I saw that they were playing with Barbie Dolls and Curtis was very happy sitting there on the floor in a pink princess dress playing with Barbie's so I let him be and didn't say anything. The truth was I found that I really enjoyed seeing my little boy in a cute little dress playing with Barbie Dolls!

By four in the afternoon the kids were in the TV room watching Sponge Bob and all three of them were still in the princess dresses and the dresses stayed on until after dinner when it was time for baths and getting ready for bed. I put Curtis into his regular boy pajamas and asked him if he had a good day and he got a dreamy sort of smile on his face and said that he had more fun than ever. I hugged and kissed him and then read a book to the him and the girls and soon after they were all asleep and when I went to bed that night I thought about how much I enjoyed seeing Curtis being so happy in a pink princess dress.

The next day we had plans to take the kids to a children's museum and to have a picnic at a park near the museum and after breakfast as we were getting the kids dressed I had what I guess could consider to be a bit of a wicked thought. I wanted to see my little boy going around happily dressed as a girl! I'm not sure why other than the fact that he really had fun the day before being a princess all day and I wanted him to be happy and I just couldn't get over how adorable he looked in that dress. It just seemed to fit his personality so well and with his long straight fine blonde hair and his delicate thin features he looked more like a girl than a boy already but especially when he was running around in a pink dress. So as I helped Curtis out of his pajamas I said to him, "You know Curtis, it's a really hot day out today. I think that you'd be much more comfortably of you wore a dress today instead of your pants and t-shirt."

Curtis gave me an inquiring look and I glanced over at my friend and she gave me a surprised sort of smile shrugged her shoulders and said, "Why not? I'm sure the girls won't mind lending a dress to him for the day."

The girls thought this was a great idea and they started taking dresses out of their closet that he could wear and soon Curtis was overwhelmed with choices of dresses that he could wear but before he tried any of them on I said that he needed to have appropriate underwear if he was going to wear a dress and I took his Spider-man underpants off of him and looked in the girls’ underwear drawer for some panties. Curtis is such a sweet and innocent little boy that he didn't really care that the girls were seeing him naked, he just stood there and waited for me to get him some underwear and I just couldn't help myself, I chose a pair of bright pink panties that had a little white bow in the front and I held them up and said, "I think these will be nice for you" and I helped Curtis put them on and we all noticed how he ran his hands all over the panties and touched the little bow with his thin finger.

Next he tried on several dresses and he really loved twirling about the room in them and looking at himself in the mirror and after about forty five minutes of trying different dresses on he settled on a cute little sundress that had pastel stripes in plaid patterns all over it and tied in bows at the shoulders with thin straps and had a sash sewn into the middle that tied into a bow in the back. He danced and twirled about and admired himself in the mirror and then I put a pink barrette in his hair and he looked at himself in the full length mirror and held the dresses skirt out and turned around a few times seeing how he looked from all angles and his eyes were sparkling the entire time. He finally said, "Wow, I really look like a girl mommy! This is fun! I like being a girl!" We all cheered when he said this and then we finished getting ourselves ready and soon we were out the door and into my friend’s car and on our way to the Children's museum.

Curtis was in heaven all day long. He was so natural and comfortable in the dress and as far as I could tell no one at the museum suspected anything. He looked like a girl and people just assumed that he was a girl although a few people did overhear one of us call him Curtis a few times and I noticed some funny looks when this happened but we just carried on like all was normal and we all had a wonderful time at the museum. Afterwards we had out picnic in the park and Curtis and the girl's ran around and played on the playground for a couple of hours. Afterwards we went for ice cream and then eventually headed back to my friend’s house. Once we were back home the girls changed their clothes and Curtis changed into a pretty pink blouse and a light purple terry cloth skirt and he exclaimed very loudly that girl's clothes were so much better than boys clothes.

That night I put Curtis into a nightgown and he was absolutely thrilled with it. The next day he expected to dress like a girl again so I had him choose the dress and panties on his own and he chose white panties that had pink hearts printed on them and sparkling trim on the waistband and a pink sundress. We went into town and did some shopping and went to see a movie and again went to a park where the children played together and at one point I saw some boys gathered around Curtis and the girls and I was wondering what it was all about and then Curtis and the girls came running over to us and Sarah,, the older girl (She was eight at this time) said, "People know Curtis is a boy because of his name and those boys over there started to tease him for being a sissy"

We all talked about it and Curtis suggested that we call him Courtney instead so it was decided. So long as Curtis was dressed as a girl we would call him Courtney. It took a little getting used to for all of us including Curtis who didn't even respond to the name Courtney a few times until he was nudged and then he remembered and he laughed about it.

Curtis refused to wear boy clothes for the rest of the visit and spent all his time being dressed as a girl and he was very excited about it. When it was time for us to leave he couldn't stop saying how much of a wonderful time he had but when it came time for him to put boy clothes back on he became really sad. He didn't want to go back to being a boy and the girl's rushed off to their bedroom and came back a few minutes later with two dresses that they said they hardly ever wore and of it was OK with their mother they would like to give them to 'Courtney' as a gift. Their mother smiled and said it was fine and Curtis hugged all them in turn and thanked them profusely. I helped him out of the nightgown he was wearing and into one of the dresses and after more hugs and kisses and goodbyes we got into our car and drove home.

Curtis wanted to wear the dress to bed that night but I wouldn't let him. Instead I gave him a long t-shirt and told him to pretend that it was a nightgown. He wasn't quite so happy with this choice but he was tired and accepted it and went to bed and the next day I put him into the other dress that the girls had given him and brought him to Target and he and I had the time of our lives shopping in the girls section for an entire new wardrobe for my little boy! he was the happiest child on the face of the planet that morning and I spent over two hundred dollars on new girl’s clothing for him - several dresses and skirts, blouses, four packages of girl's panties, a collection of tights, five different nightgowns and I even bought him a pink leotard and a girl's one-piece pink bathing suit with Barbie printed across the front in sparkling letters! We had quite a fashion show that afternoon!

I packed all of Curtis' boy clothes into a suitcase and put it on a corner of his closet and we filled his closet with his new girl clothes and now, more than a year later, Curtis is seven and a half years old and he dresses like a girl all the time. He won't go back to wearing boys clothing. I now there will be issues to deal with as he gets older but for now he is the happiest little boy ever. He decided to keep his name as Curtis because he's not ashamed of being a "boy/girl" as he has coined himself to be and I have him enrolled in a small private school that accepts him as a "girl/boy" and supports his choice in being feminine. The school already had two Tomboys attending - two girls with short boy's haircuts who always dress like boys and prefer to play boys games - one would never know they were girls - and the school embraced the idea of having a boy who prefers dressing and presenting as a girl for the contrast it would create in the classroom and for furthering the teaching of tolerance and acceptance to the other children in the school. Curtis is now best friends with both boys and girls at his school and he is so incredibly happy to be living as a girl even though he has the body of a boy. We've watched the videos together on youtube about transgendered children and he's decided that he must also be transgendered and he's happy that he's not alone.

So that's my story. My "Confession". I chose to put my little boy in girl's clothing because I enjoyed seeing him dressed this way and by doing so I believe that I helped him to discover his true inner nature. Maybe some of the readers here will think I'm a bad mother for telling my son that fateful day that I thought he'd be happier wearing a dress but I believe that I did the right thing, that he's much happier as a girl than he was a boy.
I was looking for somewhere to share this story for my own therapy, to just tell it and put it out there that once I saw my son dressed as a girl I wanted him to stay that way and as it turned out, he prefers it himself, if he didn't like wearing dresses and being like a girl then there’s no way I would of forced it on him but when I saw how happy he was in that pink princess dress I wanted to provide him the opportunity to indulge in feminine clothing, after all he already had always been more feminine than masculine and when he embraced the chance to be like a girl I couldn't help but encourage it so when I came across Experience Project and saw what people are doing here, sharing their stories about their lives I decided to share the story of me and my little boy/girl. If you’re so inspired then please feel free to let me know what you think, even if it’s negative, I can take it because I’m 100% convinced what I did the right thing by my little boy but I’m curious to know how others will react.
jennbaa jennbaa 36-40, F 141 Responses Nov 24, 2012

Your Response


You did the wrong thing. Make him dress like a boy.

Would making you dress like a girl change your mind? The few therapists that use that reasoning have fallen into disrepute. Loving and supporting your children is more important than ideology.

completely agreed with epjoni - all to often people follow stero types and frankly it is boring, old and stale and in serious need of a refresh.

All people should be allowed and encouraged to dress as they want and NOT as some stero typing person thinks.

Also just a tip from your friendly neigboorhood trans girl, we are not 'transgendered'. We are transgender. It's a tiny change in grammar but makes a big difference to a lot of us. That aside, I am so happy that you are very supportive of your kid!

It was a mistake people commonly made in 2012.

Its okay to dress him like a girl if he likes it. And yes others will not be as supportive as you are. My mom started me out at 5yrs old and by the time I graduated no one knew I was a boy.
I became exactly what my mom wanted me to be.

Kudos to you! If he truly feels he is transgendered then get him on hormone therapy as soon as he turns around 12, because then he'll truly understand himself and if you get her on hormones early then she will start to grow breasts throughout puberty and won't have the same puberty as boys (less pimples, no facial hair, no deep voice, no facial masculinisation -which transgender adults who start after puberty pay a lot of money on surgery to have feminisation-)

what if he turn out to be gay or bi?
just thinking I am bi

You don't just turn gay or by from wearing feminine clothing- Do girls turn male just for wearing pants or a shirt ??? of course not.

those of us who fit into the GBLIT group of which I think I am 1 are born like that - I am happy being who I am and I hope other GBLIT people are too and I full well know its NOT EASY being GBLIT all the time - in fact its rarely easy in my opinion.

u r right in all. I was just trying to strike conversation I said I am bi if I would believe that one can change by putting on cloths that is not true. My son is bi too

Do you think there is a connection between your orientation and his?

That's cool be so hot to have family being bi.

You can always stop the hormones anytime he wants and he can become a boy again. The testosterone blockers stops him from being a boy, then the female hormones give him a girls figure and he will grow long hair, breast etc.
If he wants to stop later eventually he will return to looking like a boy.

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it is good ether your "doter" would if you did not do that "she" would one day not exipt "her" self so it is beter ps i am all so LGBT but i am BBB Bisexual Biromantik Bigender or nonbinary if you need any help with understanding LGBT or your "doter" has questing jest ask

Wow, beautiful story. I'd love to be Courtney.

You said Curtis was 7 when you posted your story two and one half years ago, so Curtis must be 9 or 10 now. Is he still dressing and living full time as a girl? Has he had any new girl experiences such as wearing nail polish or getting his ears pierced? Are you considering any gender therapy or other treatments to keep him from going through normal male puberty in a few more years?

Jenbaa hasn't posted for over a year. I'm afraid she's left the community.

best mom ever

That is the sweetest story, and Curtis (Courtney) is lucky to have such a wonderful mother :)

The story is now over 2 yrs old. What has happened since. Did he grow out of it?

As a closet cross dresser I do agree an update would be very nice. Put those against guys wearing dresses to bed hopefully for good.

Jenbaa hasn't posted for well over a year, but I hope one day to have an update also.

I agree with your comments about an update - can't comment on when she was last on EP

Lucky boy,i wish you couldve been my in process of making pantiesmy permenate underwear myself among other clothes im switching

What a very nice Store

If you didn't force it, and that's the way he's more happy, you've done a wonderful thing. I wish you and your little girl the best.

lucky boy wish that had been me

What a beautiful and inspiring story i wish every mother out there was brave enough to support her child like you are. I began reading it with defined ideas in my head and by the end i understood. Good luck to ou and courtenay

I wish that my mother had not stopped with it.

You regret that your Mother stop dressing you in dresses and skirts and that goes with it.

When people saying that there Mother dressed them up in féminin clothing to punish them I find that ridiculous.

We girls had all the nice clothing Back then, slowly it's turning around.

She did not do it to punnish me! I all ready thought and acted like a girl.

Where did you get punishment out of it?

No as a woman in the late 60's and 70's it was the normal thing to do to wear mini skirts and extra short dresses as a matter of fact it was very much in vogue.

Yes I agree. I too was punished by mom dressing me as a girl, but I wanted to be dressed, so to me I was not punished, but didnt let mom know that cause she wouldnt have done it she knew I liked it.

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Whow!! you really opened up the discussion. I'm on the side that generally supports what you did. As I look back on my life, I thank my Mother daily for responding as supportively as you when the ackward moment finally came and she asked if I wanted to be a girl. When I said YES!!! and she gave me that big supportive hug & kiss, I felt years of built-up stress just fall off my shoulders. Curtis may have been dropping hints like me in my early years. I really felt like a girl in Elementry school and tried to leave "Hints" for my parents to ask me sooner but this was in the 50's and a different time. An older neighbor girl took me under her wing and let me "practice" being a girl when she babysat me. Finally, she went to my Mom on my behalf and that lead to the "Question". Over the last 50+ years I've had a mostly wonderful life with great supportive friends. Part of it living 24/7 as a woman, earlier spending 4 years in the Navy which paid for college and helped my gender exploration. Today, after celebrating my 2/3rds of a Century Event ( 66 years and 8 months old) with both M/F, Gay/Straight and everything in between, I told the group at dinner how blest I was to have support from those around me as I "experimented" with various lifestyles. My Mom's instincts were right on and I wish she was still alive as I miss our "Mother-Daughter" talks. Today, I'm a satisfied bi-sexual, androgynous male who wears everything from heels & skirts to baggy cargo pants and combat boots, but always female lingerie and a little make-up. So like me, as long as Curtis doesn't hurt small animals or molest children, I feel it's nobody elses business for the most part what he looks like. Just encourage him to find a way to give back to society for giving him/her so much opportunity to find that inner self. Great Post... Thank You

I completely agree with this post - you are a very lucky lady to have a mother who supported you back in the 50's- I wish I had such supportive parents

best mom ever

well done I bet he look cute

I wish u was my mom n i be your "daughter"

Loved the story, my mom did the same to me and I turned out to be a great girl too.


That is so wrong

No its not, did u even read the story?! It wasn't forced on him, he liked it, I hate how people r so closed minded! And ur not a f***ing master genius

The only reason i said that it was wrong is that she should have not asked him she should have let things play out

mastergenius, you could admit that she, being there, and you, not being there, may have had better insight into what Curtis wanted...

I knew at 4 yrs that I was transgender, but parenting in the 50s didn't allow parents to support a boy with those challenges.

Bravo to jenbaa for actually listening to her child and doing what is right by them. Most parents aren't brave enough to support their child.

I think that Curtis may not have asked to dress as a girl if his mother didn't mention it.
Thus Curtis would be stuck dressing as a boy and that's just very boring in my book.

I say good on the mother for asking what her son wanted and do so - considering the world will not fall down around him when he does wear girls clothes

why because you do not agree with it

sorry for how you must live or have been brought up with litte lacks of understand we are not all the same

I was in 8 th grade when I learned my best friend like to wear dress by accident over the next few month we shared many great times with each other in feb 1961 we were playing in my back yard and we heard the boy and girl next door talking and tried to do something with each other.
my friends said he wonder if any one would ever love him like that, I looked at him and told him it was ok while I did not under stand I was still his friend and ask him if he would like me to treat him like a girl. over the next few weeks our play changed at night when I spent the time at his home.
early march his mother caught us kissing like boy and girl she did not freak out or scream and I was invited to go to the cabin with them that week it was the start of easter vacation and we had like 10 days.

we both were scared that Wednesday night as his mother picked us up from work and took us home she sent him to changes and pulled me off to the side and started to explane some things to me and I learned there deepest scereat and I was introduce to my best friend as she had been born a girl

she became my wife at age 13 and we never looked back she even loved me enough to join the USMC and follow me to viet nam on 1/14/1967 she was killed in siagon as she walked to her office it was just under 24 hours sense I was reported down and all dead only 2 of us lived out of a crash with 15 on board I was in a coma for over 6 months and the hospital for 2 years she lost hjer life at just 19 years old so you have a right to be an *** hole and make comments of thing you can never understand and I feel sorry for you and the others that think they have to force you belif down other throats and over the years I have now many others the same who just were born in the wrong body many think it is called parasitic twins where twins start then go back to one so you have a body of one twin but yet the head and brane of the others and very possible to be different then body

I'm just curious since you said you were in Viet Nam and I never talked to anyone that was there, how do you feel today about that war?

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He sounds very brave, good on him!

has your child shown any sexual tendencies towards boys or girls at this point? PM me please

I needed to say how sorry I am. EP on my end only feed me half your story and it made it seam like you had been dressing him since he was a baby to believe he should dress as a girl. I feel aweful. Your a great mom loving and supportive. I am a big enough person. To say I'm wrong I am truly sorry your son is lilucky to have you.

Sounds like i should be friends with you women cause u seem to know how i feel

I applaud you, my son/daughter has been dressed and treated as a girl from birth. I became pregnant when my husband was shipped off to Iraq. When the baby was born a boy I was so disappointed I became totally depressed. I was so sure it was a girl that I had purchased all girly things, painted the baby room pink and pastel yellow, everything was girly. I made a decision to use what I had and dressed him as a girl. He was so adorable and all the other wives told me what a pretty daughter I had, so I just kept up the façade. I even lied to my husband that we had a daughter. When he returned from Iraq he was a different person, always drinking, loud, obnoxious, and abusive. He was gone within 4 months and I was left to raise my child on my own. I let his hair grow out, kept him in girls things, and lengthened his name from Daryl to Darlene. No one knew any difference, I had a baby girl. That was 7 years ago and I now have a bright, intelligent, happy beautiful daughter. She never even talks about being a boy and seems totally adjusted to her life as a girl. She is In a private all girls school and the school knows of her gender differences. She only brought up the question of her "extra" part once, asking why she was different than all the other girls. I told her they made a mistake when she was born, but when she is old enough we can fix that. I love having a daughter, I love buying all the frilly things, dressing her in pretty dresses, tights, panties and Mary Janes. When the time comes, I will give her T-blockers and then Hormones to allow her to become the beautiful girl she already is. I am saving up for the eventual surgery that will complete her.

Maybe, that's why your husband was so drunken and abusive.Raising your son as girl. That's despicable! I would have left you myself.

There are good reasons why some wives disappear.

unfortunately there are too many men that think like you do, as if you have some right to power over a woman for your own ben ifit. What you are suggesting goes far beyond abuse......

Yes, Ddsmen, this kind of long term psychological trauma goes far beyond regular child abuse.

Regular child abuse? What is "regular" child abuse? You think that if a child is beat there's no pychological trauma? You think if a child was sexually abused there's no psychological trauma? If that man that came home from the war, didn't agree with how his wife was raising their child, talk about it. You don't abuse the wife because of a disagreement or for any reason. If he couldn't talk to his wife, then go to his parents to talk and if that wasn't possible go to counseling. But you don't start drinking and becoming abusive. That's not good for the wife, the child or himself and it doesn't solve anything. It only makes things worse.

No, I don't think it's right. Drunkin abuse or any kind of abuse is inexcusable. Coming back from the war, he probably suffered from PTSD and what she did certainly didn't help. Jenbaa had a reason for what she did. You just forced it on him at the most vulnerable time in his life.

Fine then don't just leave! Talk about it! Go to counseling but you just don't leave because you disagree with how your wife is raising your child.

I agree. There are too many fathers that would like to forget they even have children. Even if a father actually hates the spouse, it's no reason to neglect your child. The father should still be there for his child no matter what and still provide for the child. Like I said earlier, if the father doesn't want to give his spouse money for one reason or another, buy the child food, clothing, help with shelter, etc. whatever the child needs but you just don't forget you have a child.

There are good reasons why ****** like you disappear too.

such as?

sorry you feel so strongly. She is very petite and her male appendage is very small. I believe I have taken the right path and saved her from much abuse and humiliation. Perhaps if you had found your feminine side at a young age, you wouldn't believe it was okay to beat on women.

It's never right to beat on women. I would never think of that. However, if a man is predisposed, why give him provocation. If I were her husband, I would have just left.

I hate that word, "Provocation" as if that's an exuse for unacceptable behavior. You have a choice. You can walk away, beat a pillow but you don't hit people. You would have just left huh? Forget about the woman that you fell in love with, forget about your child, just leave. Yeah that will solve everything. People like you need to think a little bit. And how is a man "predisposed" to beating a woman? I'm sure when she fell in love with this man he didn't beat her. If he thought the way she was raising their child was wrong there are other ways of handling it. You don't start drinking and become abusive. That's not mature at all. He should have talked to her to try to understand what's going on if he really loved her. At least go to marriage counseling or talk to your family. The way you think, do you think the father should be paying child support?

Parents like you visit their children in a cemetary, and tell a piece of marble or granite how they wish they had done things different. **** you. Btw, hitting a woman for anything other than last resort self defence is never acceptable.

Your the only despicable person here! !!!

Well, you weren't there. You don't know what went on. You don't even know if this story is true. But if it is true, and you were the father of that baby would you just leave the baby and have nothing to do with him/her? That baby would still be a part of you. If you thought what your wife was doing was wrong, and you loved her, don't you think at least the two of you could have gone to counseling? Is that how things should be done? If you don't like what your spouse does you just become abusive and leave? You don't even know what kind of abuse she suffered. If he beat her that would have been so wrong. You don't know if they tried to talk or anything. So you would just leave and leave the baby not knowing who the father is? Don't you think that is kind of cruel? I do. I hate fathers that leave and forget their children. Then they get mad about child support. Whether fathers actually hate their wives, you don't take it out on the children. They are innocent. You are supposed to support your children and you don't brag about it. It's what you're supposed to do. And if you are afraid the support money isn't going to the children, then don't give money. Buy what the child needs such as diapers, food, clothing, help with the rent or mortage, whatever the child needs. You just don't leave!

Wow. U need help

I wish my mother had been more like you, mine was big on appearances. I grew up to hate myself, having felt my whole life that my parents were ashamed of me and wished they had someone besides me. I cry when I read things like this, the happy wonderful life I could have had as a girl. I am a seemingly well adjusted, heterosexual, full time crossdresser. The little known truth is im a severely depressed, drug addicted, transsexual who loves men. No one knows I use meth everyday just so I can tolerate being alive. No one knows I want to transition. No one knows I have been with and prefer men. I want to become a female, marry a man, and get off dope. None of those things will be possible, and I will likely take my own life as soon as my faith is lost and I no longer fear hell. I hope its soon.

Forget about your transexualism. Get your drug abuse under control and seek counselling help. You're still young yet. Death may end your story, however, that's not how it's meant to be. Years from now, you may look back and realize all you've learned from this adversity. I've had my own struggles during my life and I can look back with insight and feel compassion towards others and maybe help others.

you are a effing bigot who needs to get help mentally and soon. why don't you get out of the effing closet you closet gay man already or kill yourself

Who are you talking to?

She can't forget about her being transsexual. That's the root of why she started drugs. It's all intertwined with her depression. This is why she is depressed and why she started drugs. I told her she CAN be happy and she CAN get help.

Death is a good thing. It puts an end to the chain of evil... I have no fear of pain... What I trully fear is loss... Therefore I need to be alive in order to feel fear... Therefore hell is a place where pain itself loses it's value and meaning...

Hey! Are you still here? You CAN get help! You CAN be happy again! Talk to me and I'll help you!

That is sooooooo wrong, the difference between u and her is her child chose to dress up, u r a monster for doing that to ur son. Shame on u

your profile says your a girl, but you say you are a cross dresser in your post. So are you a girl or a guy?

The main problem with this is that he seems to be nothing but a toy for you... A living doll that you like to play with... If he had a more prideful personality such as mine.. He could get revolted from being so deeply manipulated... Reminds me of how my grandmother attempted and still attempts to manipulate me to become fat... But I never fell for her tricks...

Why would your grandmother want you to become fat?

Can i be your "adopted daughter"?

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Growing up I had a friend who was (probably transgender-ed) but back then they called him a sissy. He would take his sisters clothes and underwear and wear it. Most of the other kids in the neighborhood made fun of him.. but I knew his sister so I didn't. When he was a little older 9/10 his mother got remarried to a real strict guy, and when he got caught wearing his sisters underwear, his step dad spanked him and made him do things.. later he went to live with is aunt out of state. I lost track of him and his sister after middle school.

That is so sad. If that is who the child is then it should be embrassed. I just think it should be there choice. And to start them that way its not a choice it is what they know and therefore are more comfortable in.

I made my choice at 5 and my mom and sister let me dress as a girl forever.

The word is transgender and what did you mean he "made him do things?" The step dad was wrong for spanking him. Spanking him isn't going to change who he or she is. Did they just kick him/her out of the house to live with the aunt? Still, it's a shame how the mother let this happen.

Child abuse is evil. Custody needs to be changed.

Custody to whom? I wouldn't want my child living with a man that drinks and is abusive.

JM sorry but that's wrong

I didn't mean to be so harsh. If he asked you to that's one thing but if it was your idea then you don't know what he would have grown to be. Lots of me are very feminine but they are still men and glad to be men and proud of that. My closest and favorite cousin was born a girl and is a transgender and now goes by the name of Joe very successful in his life and very happy our family was very supported in any choices she made as a child and any traces she made to become amen we let her make the choice though we never made it for her her brother is gay he didn't want to become a girl.I'm sorry I just think that the way you wrote that you went about it is wrong you placed an idea into his head and it sounds as if you get it young age when he was impressionable and our children natually get much of their happiness from ours and the more happy and secure we are more happy and secure they are I hope your son is happy because in the end that is all that matters I did not mean to be unkind or hurtful and anyway. my 5 year old son also quite enjoys getting dressed up with his sisters and playing dress up but he also really enjoys Power Rangers and wrestling and looking handsome like a young man at first I wondered if that was something he wanted to dress like a girl and be a girl like his sisters I quickly found out that it wasn't about being feminine but it was about the creativity behind getting dressed up different it was not about him wanting to be like a little girl and not be a little boy it was merely the chance to be more creative and that there are not as many options to do so with boys clothing my son is very very creative but he doesn't want to be a girl its just most of the influences in his life or female once he had a man and his life the more of his masculine trades started to showmy fear is that its not accepted by society as a whole and why make growing up for your child even harder than growing up already is and were confusing

She still has that choice and can decide that she wants to live as a boy and I will honor that, but I don't believe she will ever feel that way....

Please don't think I'm coming down on you because I am not. But this is something to think about. There was a doctor named Money. You might want to read up on him. Money, under the auspices of doing what was best for the child, was actually doing experiments with children. Anyway, there's this one case where he told the parents that their child would be better off being raised as a girl. When he grew up he became terribly depressed. He wasn't happy being a girl and decided to commit suicide. I just don't want to see that happen to your child.

Its only wrong if the choice was made for him love. Just like if you were forced to be something your not. If you dress a boy as a girl from the start us that him making the choice or who dressed him. I think you dress them according to what there born as until they decide differently and if they do you embrace it with themwhat's wrong with it is the freedom of choice

Not really choice. It's who you are. But yeah I believe that the way she is doing it, she might not know whether her child is a boy or a girl because the child only knows being a girl. I hope she pays attention closely in case her child shows signs of depression and knows inside she isn't a girl and wants to express her maleness. If she does, I hope the mother will allow her child to express who she really is. You know gender isn't what's between your legs it's what's between your ears. People that are born with a penis aren't necessarily a male. It's how they feel inside. I was telling her that there was a boy that was raised as a girl and when she grew up she became so depressed she killed herself. I hope this doesn't happen to her child. I don't know if you raise a child from birth, a child born with a penis as a girl they will all commit suicide and I don't know if they would all be happy. I, myself, don't believe you should do that though. I believe the child should tell you how they feel.

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Such a wonderful, genuine, heartwarming story. No doubt, this is the best thing for your little one. (I wasn't transgendered growing up, nor am I today, but being dressed and treated like a pretty sissy girly panty boy made my entire boy body shake with excitement like nothing else did, or still does!

Please, the word is transgender not transgendered. Just like you wouldn't say Gayed. But I'm glad you are happy with who you are.

Everything makes sense to a point in your story. He is always a male. Now he is a male wearing comfortable clothing. That does not make anyone feminine. I wear dresses or skirts over a panty as a man who can emphatically state that it will be a very cold day in hell before I want any feminine characteristics. I am a testosterone-filled man who wears comfortable clothing.

It sounds to me like Curtis is a person we would call transgendered today. More and more young children are coming out with the idea that their minds are of the opposite gender from their physical bodies. If you go on Youtube and look for videos from the CBS program "60 Minutes" you will find several in this category. In particular, look for videos about a child named Jazz who was born a boy but decided she was really a girl in a boy's body when she was five years old. Jazz is a few years older than Curtis, so watching those videos may give you some idea what is ahead for both Curtis and you in the coming years. I believe there is also some contact information to organizations of parents of transgendered children like Jazz and Curtis.

Trying to put a lot of scientific research in a short summary, researchers studying how children learn have definitely concluded there are both anatomical and physiological differences between boys brains and girls brains but they need to do a lot more research to determine exactly what those differences are and how they work. Also, most doctors now agree all fetuses start off as female, then early in the pregnancy some change to male. Nature is not always perfect, so it is reasonable to assume that in some cases, such as Curtis, the body changes from female to male resulting in an apparent boy who feels s/he should be a girl. Similarly, there are cases where the brain changes from female to male while the body remains female, resulting in apparent girls who feel they should have been born as boys.

I noted your comment about Curtis saying God made him the way he is. I can relate very much to this. I have male anatomy but I have always had a definite feminine side in me. I was in my 30s when I came to the realization that God made me the way I am to fill a definite purpose in His Divine Plan, although I may never know what that Divine Plan is in this life. This did not come to me in any great revelation, but came to me over several years.

Curtis is very fortunate to have your acceptance of him they way he is. He also has a Heavenly Father who accepts him just as you do.

That is a crock of horse manure. Real men wear skirts and dresses just as real women wear pants. I always wear a skirt or a dress and I am damn certain that I do NOT want to be a female. It is just a choice for comfortable clothing. Nothing more.

Do real men actually believe that everyone has the same feelings about everything as they do? I wear skirts and dresses most of the time too, and im damn certain I do want to be a female.

The word is transgender not transgendered. You wouldn't say someone is Gayed. I have a question. I also have heard that all babies start off as females in the womb. But, I have been thinking. How do they know this? Do the babies have female organs like ovaries and a uterus? I mean if they do an ultrasound just because a baby doesn't have a penis couldn't it be that it just hasn't formed yet but will as the pregnancy goes on? Another thing I wanted to say is that I have heard from some religious people that god doesn't make mistakes. But doesn't he? There are babies born blind or without limbs or deaf. Some women are born without being able to become pregnant. Aren't those mistakes?

whether you think you did the right or wrong thing, your right. it is absolutely fine if you are trying to make your som happy. howevr i do think that you should have said, "you had los of fun in that dress yesterday, do you want to do it again?" indstead of making up a reson like "it's hot today" scince it makes hom happy let him do it until it becomes a problem. up a reason like "it's hot today" scince i

Wearing a skirt or a dress has no affect on your gender identity unless you are mentally ill. A man who has functioning testicles can wear a skirt or a dress without exhibiting any of those sissy wimp characteristics.

you are a very mean man. I'm glad that you don't want to be a woman, I wouldn't want someone like you being my gender. Come to think of it, you're not a man either. You are just a hater!!!

Oh I agree about Curtis but how do you feel about the other woman that decided to raise her son as her daughter from birth?

You're right when you say you did the right thing. You did what every parent should do and that is to embrace your child's decisions and encourage their curiosities without pushing them into doing what the world thinks to be right.

Thanks to your support, your child will become successful in many things and will make you proud.

you are a great mom i wish i had a mom like you

What a cute story. You make your son happy so that's great.

why would you do that to your son

Jenbaa explained herself very clearly. Her motivations and her son's desire to try this were easy to see in her story. This may be impossible for you to imagine, but there are people, who at that age, know that they are not cisgendered and want to explore their gender identity.

Bravo to Jenbaa for her measured response and her loving support for her son!

Which story are you referring? The story about Curtis or the story about the woman that decided to raise her son as her daughter from birth? The one about Curtis, I agree with the mother. The son wanted to dress as a girl. That is who he/she is and the mother allowed her child to be who she/he is which is how it should be. If you are talking about the mother who decided to raise her child as a girl from birth I don't agree with that mother. I believe let the child express who they are.

Your right trust me I held it in I didn't have a supportive mother like you to let me make that choice I was to afraid to come out and now I have to hide it for the rest of my life I always regret not telling someone when I was little you did a great thing you made his life so much easier you are a wonderful mother

Why do you have to hide it for the rest of your life? It's not too late!

Your story is awesome and I enjoyed reading it. I'm a woman but I'm trapped in a man body. I would live to dress the way I feel inside; a woman. It is really hard living this way. My heart goes out to you and your little girl.

It's not too late you know.

So very great I wish you were my mom you could have to little boy/girls and id love having him as my little sister

Why would you do that? Please stop the girly stuffs for him for the sake of his long term personality. I mean, he's still a kid, and he'll go along with whatever you presented to him. If you'll guide him to be a man, and become one.

Perhaps you don't understand what is going on here. He -is- who he -is-, not 'who-you-make-him-to-be'. He may continue in this path, or become more traditional. No one can predict his outcome.

Jennbaa is responding to where he is right now, a most loving and supportive gesture. Forcing him to be something he is not will lead to unhappiness, depression or worse.

I like your choices. It seems to me that you have done the right thing for your son. Some boys just cannot be the he-men that they are expected to be. I have read several stories on EP written by mothers that have sons that are miserable but these moms can't do what you have done because of the husbands attitude. Keep on following your mothers intuition and your boy will be a happy, contributing person when he grows up.

i love cute/funny. just wondering have you ever given him a wedgie because i know when i was younger and wore tighty whities (basically the same as panties) my sister gave me wedgies and now i like to put a pair of panties on and get wedgies idk why but i love it. I even give myself them but i like when others give them to me more(hence my stories). My point is maybe he will like them too.

You do what you mother did it too......i was cute.........and i live all my life like that.......and that is the begining :)......and all the way

Wow Jen you are a great lady you must really love Curtis and he must be very happy well done. I really think that we should live as we feel and not as others say we should live.

What a great Mother he must really love you !!! There are so many little boy out here that would have been so much better off if there mothers would have opened there eyes and did what was best for there child

I think your son is a lucky boy/girl and I think you must be a world class Mom...good for you.

how many gurls dying of envy hearing such a wonderful story.

hey'why ???

Hiiii plz chat me

I wish you had been my mum and you'd dressed me as a girl as I grew up. I am a girl now. I'm just nineteen and got to be a girl a few months ago. I started with blockers at fourteen which stopped me developing as a boy, so my voice never broke and I've never had to do things like shave. I went onto female hormones at sixteen and went through puberty as a girl. I never had to go through puberty as a boy. From sixteen I went to school as a girl, but in another town, so nobody knew I'd ever been a boy. Because I changed sex young I think it is the reason no one has ever asked me if I used to be a boy. I'm just so happy now and absolutely nothing beats being a girl. I got there but I still wish you'd been my mum and then I could have worn dresses and girlie clothes like your son was able to do. Give my best wishes to him and tell him from me that nothing beats being a girl. Sasha

Yeah I wish I would have been on blockers before I started growing facial hair. I hate that! With a passion! I never really went through puberty emotionally though. Like you here stories of boys in school getting erections in class for no reason or getting an erection if they see a pretty girl. I never got that. I never got aroused when I was a teen no matter who I saw. I never thought about sex at all. I did and still do look at women to see how they are dressed and how they wear their makeup and things to get an idea for an outfit or something like that but it never aroused me. What was it like for you before you were on blockers?

it sounds a little bit that you wanted a daughter and used him to fit that need. now saying that I am not saying your wrong. it appears Courtney's inner body may be a woman and he is slowly figuring it out. If you keep him dressed it should only be a home while at school he is in male clothing. Otherwise he will have a hard time with bullying at school. When he gets itno his teens then he will have a decision to make but I suspect his clitty will be more comfy in panties . I know my is

My mom wanted another daughter, too, and I was she. I'm so happy it worked out like that, otherwise I'd have been, well, not at all happy with who I am.

A male with a "clitty"? I wear a panty as a manly man with a penis and a great pair of testicles. I would have any "clitty" surgically removed immediately if I ever developed one.

No I disagree. If you are afraid of who you are then you are allowing other people to decide for you how to express yourself. The bullies are the one's who should get in trouble. What do you mean when he gets into his teens he will have a decision? Why aren't you afraid she will be bullied when she is a teen? And no it does not sound like she wanted a daughter. The child told her that she enjoyed expressing herself as a girl. The mother didn't tell her she would be better off as a girl. Schools today are starting to come to terms that transgender people exist. Listen, if you wanted to wear a pink shirt to school would you stop wearing it because a few people bullied you? If you did, then you are allowing them to tell you what and what you can't wear. Why do that?


Well, I certainly can't fault you for doing what you feel is in the best interest of your son. I think you could find thousands here on EP who wish that their mothers would have offered let them the chance to wear panties and skirts and dresses and curls when they were younger.

I don't remember really asking to wear girl's clothes at first, but over the course of a summer when I was about 8, I had come to bond with my new step sister by pretending to be her girlfriend. My father passed a year earlier and I soon found comfort and acceptance in being dressed and raised as a daughter and a sister. Home schooling solved many of the normal problems and hormone therapy took care of most of the rest, and today as a 21 year old, I live with my sister and her girlfriend as I was raised one of the girls.

And I still see my mother on a regular basis. I love her for who she is and how she took care of me and appreciate being raised in a loving family. Which ever way the wind blows for your young son, I think Curtis will always love you for allowing him to find his own way in life. The very best to you both ...Kaylee.

Hello it's been a long time since I've made any comments here; I've been very busy being a mom and a wife and even working to help make all the ends meet. But I come here periodically and see all the overwhelming support everyone is giving me and I wanted to take the time today finally to thank everyone for your kind and gracious words and for all the support I'm getting here!!

An update on Curtis is that he is an extremely happy, active creative and brilliant child and he's been dressing full time in girl's clothes for a good year now and he couldn't be happier. We had a sit-down with his school and told them that he wanted to return this fall in girl's clothing and I told them that he's been seeing a Gender Specialist and gave them the specialists contact info. The specialist supports Curtis in wearing the clothes that make him happy and was in support of him going to school in dresses and skirts. The school accepted his wish and he returned this fall wearing a gorgeous light purple dress with white tights. He's been wearing dresses and skirts all summer long so many of his school friends had already learned that Curtis was choosing to wear girl's clothing so seeing him in a dress and tights on the first day of school was not that much of a surprise for them but many of the kids didn't know so there was a lot of chatter and laughter when Curtis entered the school in his purple dress. But the teacher had a discussion with all the kids in his class about diversity and acceptance and in the end it worked out just fine. There are a few boys who have been having a hard time accepting Curtis in his girl's clothing but they're getting used to it and have not been bothering him about it recently. The teacher did have each of these boys write essays about why diversity and acceptance are important and she had talks with the boys' parents who apparently thought it very odd that a boy would choose to dress as a girl but they agreed that acceptance and understanding is what was needed, not bullying or teasing.

I asked Curtis if he wanted a girl's name - to use Courtney again - but he decided that he likes his name and didn't want to change it. He's perfectly comfortable with being a boy who likes girl things and says he doesn't feel like he was necessarily supposed to be a girl; he said that he's sure God made him a boy on purpose, that He didn't make a mistake with his gender, He just gave him the gift of being able to enjoy both genders!!

We are talking with his Gender Specialist about hormone treatment and are taking the first steps of going down that path.

Overall I'm very happy with the choices I made about encouraging Curtis to go ahead and wear the girl's dresses; it was just so natural for him to do so and he is now so incredibly happy. Everyday he gets up and has a blast choosing what outfit to wear for the day and he just can't wait to get out there in the world and play and learn and happily and openly Be Himself.

Again Thank you to everyone who has been giving such great support and kind words here! I'm glad I shared Curtis' story here; it gives me encouragement and I'm happy to see it gives others encouragement also. I will try to be more involved here as time allows,

Love Jen

It is nice to hear that things are going so well for Curtis - - I'm glad he's receiving such support from everyone, and with minimal teasing, too! It is a very good sign that Curtis knows who he is and is happy to be where he is in this moment.

It bodes very well that he will grow in a way that will turn out well!

What a nice update Jen on Curtis. I am glad to hear all is going well for him, including school. Kids can be so crewel but it sounds like the teachers and administrators handled his transition well. Thanks for the update.

Thanks so much for keeping us all up to date on what's been happening in your lives. It sounds like Curtis is doing very well. He really is quite courageous! My hat is off to you Jen, for letting Curtis be himself.

Jen, you are a great mother! I wish I would have had the opportunity to be raised as you are raising Curtis. The only thing I don't understand is you said that Curtis is happy being a boy who likes girl's things yet you are planning to put him on hormones. I don't understand why the hormones if he is happy being who he is? So you don't use female pronouns when addressing Curtis or when talking about Curtis to other people? Just trying to understand. You know I didn't dress as a girl in school and I was still teased and beat up all the time. I had a terrible time in school. I was called all sorts of names and when I would walk into class the kids would ask me if I took my fem-iron tablet today. I was scared to go to school because I knew what was going to happen. I told my so-called father one time that I was getting beat up in school and he told me to hit them back. I was too scared to fight. I didn't know how and I didn't want to. I just wanted to be left alone. I don't know why some kids have to be so mean. I didn't have any friends in school. I didn't know what the guidance counselor was for either. Maybe I could have talked to her I don't know. I ended up quitting school when I was 16 with the encouragement on my so-called father and two weeks from me turning 17 I ran away from home. I did receive my GED though. I think it's just starting to get a little easier for transgender kids these days though but you still here about them getting beat up and even killed which is so stupid. I'm glad Curtis doesn't get teased as much as I did.

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You are a fantastic person that put your son's needs above preconceived expectations. Reading your story brought a tear to my eye that someone could be so caring and accepting.

I'm afraid DozerDan would make a train wreck of a parent.

I wish you all the best!

I completely agree with the above - these days parents should be in touch with there children's wants and needs - and if that means sons want to wear dresses- then so be it- fine by me.

I think a pretty boy at home looking after the standard house hold chores is much better than a person who is out on the street till late at night doing a mix of thinks which could include looking for trouble, doing drugs, smoking cigarettes and or drinking far too much grog.

maybe you should seek out a gender therapist. perhaps your son is really transgender. that should be addressed and maybe if so, get it treated. you have some time left but dont wait to long if hes really a transgender girl. Puberty will make it increasingly difficult if you wait too long

Good advice, Kyle.

She said she is taking Curtis to a gender specialist

We hve a picture on the wall of my nephew with a pink blanket and a smile and a caption underneath thet says "I just love pink":) He was about 3 years old. There's nothing girlish about my nephew. He just chose what he liked, not what adulrts expect him to like.

I think this clearly shows your Nephew feels safe and knows he won\'t be bullied in the above situation and that has got to be a good thing.

We thought it was cute:)

only thing I would do was send him to a camp for a few weeks next summer that will teaches him how to defend him self right and do the most damage with least effort and then back out except for refresher classes and allow him to grow as he wishes

he sounds very much like the one I fell in love with

what a great story- there should be more of it

You sick perverts should not be raising children.

I think you should lighten up on this one. After all, children will be what they will be. I have a nephew and he chooses typical boy things for his age. He was never forced to, he just did what he liked, just like I did when I was a boy. She did nothing to encourage his behavior, just accepted him for what he was. That\'s a mother\'s love.
Forcing him to conform to something for to him is unnatural will only confuse him and cause psycological damage which no mother would deliberately want to do.

the boy was asked what he wanted to wear and he clearly was interested in wearing the dresses and girls cloths.

While me on the other hand from the age of 6 I have seeked out my mothers clothes to wear as much as possible and now have a stash of my own.

However I was forced to wear boys clothes- boring and mum after 2 other sons and me being the 3rd had always wanted 1 only one daughter- but she never got it- I would have happily provided the daughter experience for her. Maybe then I wouldn\'t spend endless hours searching the net for boys cross dressing photos and experiences rather than doing something more productive such as university assignments.

I bet this boring old dozer dan will never have the gutz to reply anyway.

And maybe if she had of warmed to the idea of me wearing dresses, after I was wearing her old ones in the room next to mine in the 2nd story of our house [its a huge old 1900\'s style machin really] from the age of 6, I may today have a much better relationship with specifically my parents but also my 2 older brothers. Rather than the rough and ready and un civilised relationship that we do have and have had for a long time.

I think this Dozer dan person should go off to a place where everyone is born exactly the same and find out just how boring life would be

Meanwhile I will enjoy being a little bit different to most other people and accept people for who they are [a much better option]

Did you try talking to your mother about the way you feel? It isn't too late for you to be who you are you know.

why do you think he is less of a man for the way he loves to dress, I really hare to tell you this but how we dress does not make us less of men i had no problem dressing as a girl for the one I love and I am still very much a man then many more so the john deer dan will ever be

I completely agree- I may be trans gendered and enjoy wearing dresses and tights and bra's and god knows what else but I still plan on a life in animal production- chasing cows and sheep, fixing fences and building interesting items and wanting my muscles in certain situations- like lifting a whole huge pile of wool into the wool press- that takes strength and so does moving a wool bale that is between 110kgs and 190kgs or 17.322 to 29.91 stone around our huge wool shed.

trust me at 190 kgs or 29.91 stone- the bales are heavy and its often hot sweaty work.
Yet go home at night time, have dinner, go swim in the pool in a female swim suit and then put on a dress and tights and relax and read the news paper.

I remind you that I am a man- whats wrong with it?

I say nothing at all

Oh stop! Why are they perverts? Do you not know the meaning of the word? Just because they aren't raising their child the way you would bully your child to be doesn't make them wrong. You are just one in a million of the bullies that are out there. Nothing special about you. Why don't you be someone that stands out! You must enjoy seeing your kids unhappy. Other parents like to see their kids be happy.

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Loved your experience. I'm eager to know if you would consider seeking professional help for your son. To investigate the pros and cons of putting him on a hormone therapy program as he matures. I wish my mom had done this for me.

You have acted in Curtiss's best interest and made her/him very happy. What an upper. let us know how you both are doing.

I think you are a wonderful, understanding and supportive mother and I support you whole heartedly. I am sure your Courtney will have a wonderful life and enjoy it. Thank you

You are a super star children need to be able to talk to there parents openly and truthfully the parent needs to understand what there child is saying and wanting it is very important. Your Daghter has a wonderfull mother keep the good work up.

I believe you did the best thing possible for your son. Having been deprived of my deep need to be raised as a girl has been a lifelong lament.

Good for you

I'm sure your on the right track

Yes! Yes! Yes!

what a wonderful mother in helping and supporting him and encouraging him!

Wonderful story, Jenn, and Curtis is lucky to have an understanding and supportive mom like you.

My own life and experiences have made me unsure of who I was, male or female. I've held back my feelings so tight that I was never able to find out who I really was or find a lasting relationship. This confusion may be visited on your son when he gets older. I hope I'm wrong. There are Transgendered children and my advice wouldn't apply. Unless you give him hormone therapy as he approaches puberty, his heart will be broken because he'll develop adult masculine characteristics.

so true

Great story. I am glad that he like the way he chose to dress. You are a great mother to under stand and back him like you do.:)

Wow!! Great story. I'm not even going to put my story here. They are to close. Mom at first tried to dissuade me from dressing in girl's clothing but after she realised it wasn't a fad she became my greatest aid and suporter. You sound much like her.

I know there have been comments made to her about how she abused me by letting me become who I am and that in the future I will hate her. NOT HAPPENiING!

Here's to all parents every where who only wish the best for their children and don't let society, religion dictate who they will be.

Love ya Moms


Wow! You are an amazing, perceptive, tolerant and loving mother. Curtis is a lucky little boy/girl. :-)

I'm certainly no expert on the subject, but you both seem very happy, and I think you are doing the right thing. Society is the problem, not you and Curtis. Other cultures through out history have embraced the transgendered or boy/girls and girl/boys. But today's society seems slanted toward the western European Puritan values, where men must look and dress like men, while women must look and dress like women. Not all of us fit that mold. As he grows up and goes through his adolenscent years, there will be issues to address, but from your writings, it sounds as though you are already aware and ready to address them. I wish both you and Curtis all the best!

There was an article on T.V, I think it was 20/20 about a mom and a dad that had a son who from the time he could talk rejected boys clothes and toys. Like yourself the parents were confused as to how to handle it for the sake of the boy. He had hyper feminine interests and just loved to dress up in girls clothes. In order to not break the boys heart, they decided to have him treated with a male hormone suppressant for a few years just before puberty, then have him on female hormones for the rest of his life. This wasn't frowned on. It's just life. It happens and it's not your fault. You thought in the interest of boy not yourself. Best of luck in the future. HAPPY NEW YEAR!

GREAT story. Appreciate the posting. I agree with you. Seems happier being "true" self

Your son is the luckiest little boy/little girl in the world to have a wonderful mother like you. Yes, the world is going to be rough on him, unless you happen to live in a wonderfully open, tolerant part of it, but he'll always have your love, support, and encouragement, which can make all the difference.

He sounds like a great kid, and you are a great mom. All the best to you both. :)


It's nice that you took the time to share your story.

I have a very similar one that also has an ending. When my 6 year son looked so very intently at a girl mannequin in a store I asked if he thought she was cute. He said that he liked her clothes. I agreed and we continued shopping. Each time we passed by that same mannequin, he just wanted to look, and I know, envy. ON a whim, I said that I wanted to buy that whole outfit for him and have him wear it at home the rest of the day.

So....yes this did develop into him wearing girls clothes a lot, and me buying him some very nice things. When ever we traveled out of town, she went as Christy. A totally cute and feminine looking person that was my best friend in many ways. We did this for about 8 years. All Christy's girl clothes were in my closet, so visiting friends would not find a way to tease about it. When Chris was 13 we were the same size. He then had a huge wardrobe to choose from.

This was back in the 70's when we didn't know about transgender issues.

Well, when he hit puberty, his thoughts on being a girl changed. Those bi gender times were something that slowly morphed to a more normal life for him. He is still kind of feminine, but has a wife and kids now. Living totally as a man. I asked if he told his wife of his past and he said no. So we will leave it that way.

I recently talked with him about transgender issues. He thinks that he fits the criteria, but wants to keep his family and all that past quietly hidden.

Hello I'm sorry it took me so long to read your response; I've been overwhelmingly busy with being a mom to an openly gender-variant child, a wife to my wonderful understanding and loving husband/father to a gender-variant child, and living my own professional life because it takes both my husband and I working to make the ends meet. I've just now read your reply and I want to let you know that it touches my heart deeply! Thank you for taking the time to give me a little tidbit of your experience. I can just imagine how nice it was for you and your son to have such special times together. Curtis and I already had a fantastically deep connection before his desire for femininity became such a prominent factor in his life and this connection has grown so much deeper as a result. I wouldn't trade it for anything!

I'm very glad your son grew into a healthy adult and has a family of his own. I have no idea what the future holds for Curtis but I am VERY curious and excited to see it unfold and I'm doing everything that I possibly can do to make sure it unfolds beautifully! - Once again, thank you for taking the time to respond!!

You are a Wonderful Mother
With All My Love To You Both

I think you are a wonderful loving mother who did the right thing. I believe Curtis is better off and sounds happier with being able to freely and openly dress as she/he wishes. I give you three cheers. It was not necessarily an easy decision, but I believe it was the best one.

I loved your story. I wish my mother would have put me in dresses.

A person is still a boy if he has male parts and dresses like a girl. Just as much as a person is still a girl if she has female parts and dresses like a boy. Clothes are merely a mask & a preference. The terms "male" and "female" define us by our X and Y chromosomes and the type of parts we have and what they do. I'm glad that you support your son, but no matter how many dresses he wears or what name he goes by or how much you both like him as a girl, he will always be a boy.

You are technically correct Jane. It's so unfortunate that society has to place limitations of our harmless expressions of personality. He himself admits to being a special kind of person. If only society could embrace this instead it adherence to strict definitive rules for people, this one issue of being free that most don't understand

As much as I support the freedom of expression, I'm afraid this may end up quite ugly for Curtis. :[ I surely hope it doesn't though.

I know this is old but I had to say something here. I disagree with you and here's why. It is not just the clothes. I don't think you are seeing the whole picture. Gender is different than sex. Sex is what's between your legs and gender is what's between your ears. A boy will not always be a boy the way you are defining it. When you are a transgender, your brain doesn't match your body. It would be as if you inside felt you were female and you looked down and had a penis. Even having a penis doesn't define you as a boy or a girl. Thihnk of it this way. Say a man was in an accident and he had to have his penis amputated. Do you think if you asked that man if he was still a man he would say no? So this man is walking around without a penis yet he still proclaims to be a man. The clothing is just a projection of what a person identifies with. In today's society it is acceptable for a woman to wear dresses and skirts. So if a person was born with a penis yet the brain tells this person that she is a female that person would feel she should be able to wear skirts and dresses and dress like the average female. I mean really why wouldn't she? I know not all females enjoy wearing skirts and dresses. Females are accepted no matter what they wear. I'm just saying if a person identifies with the female gender and she wants to wear skirts and dresses she ought to be able to just like any other female. You know chromosomes control what traits a person will have and tells the body whether to grow a penis or a vagina. But that's the body. That's not the mind of an individual. Just like you didn't wake up one day and decide you are going to be a female. Even if you never looked at your vagina you knew you were a female. That's the same with a transgender person. Except imagine all this time you never saw your vagina, you always knew you were female and then one day you look down and you see your vagina and you say yeah that's right. But what if you looked down and saw a penis? How confused you would be because you have always been told girls have vaginas so why don't you have one? You see you didn't need to see your vagina to know you were a girl. But because you felt you were a girl it felt right for you to run around in skirts and dresses. That's also how it is for transgenders. So, it's more than just clothing. If it were normal for people to run around nude there would still be transgenders. The clothing is not a mask. The clothing is how a person identifies with themselves. Just like if you were to wear boys jeans and tops, you still identify as a female. So the clothing has nothing to do with being a mask. So, a transsexual, even if pre-op, has a penis but is still the gender of a female because their brain identifies with that of a female. I hope you understand what I mean. Listen to the part I said about the man being in an accident. If you have any questions I will gladly answer them. ~Lori

We've been so busy the last few days I haven't had time to be here but I want to say that I didn't know what kind of response posting this story would get but I am very happy to see the discussion it has spurned! This is what's needed! People need to learn that there's a lot more to gender than just the physical attributes of the body. A persons feeling of gender is influenced more by their thought patterns and the feelings in their hearts than by what body parts one has and sometimes ones thoughts and feelings don't match the parts of ones body!

People who don't identify with their physical gender are just as normal as anyone else! It's MUCH more common than our "general society" wants to admit and it's time for people to accept it and to start realizing that "transgendered" people have the same desire for a happy healthy life as anyone else! I personally don't like the term "transgendered", I don't believe in "transgendered" I believe in just simply Being Yourself and if who you are is someone who has the body of a male but the interests of a female. or a body of a female but then interests of a male then that's simply who you are! Cool! No problem, enjoy yourself! If you have the body of a male and the interests of a male: Cool! No Problem, enjoy yourself!

As far as I'm concerned one is an abusive parent if you force your child to be someone they are not just because you feel uncomfortable with who they want to be. I shouldn't have to say this but just in case someone wants to fly off the handle with this statement I will state that: This obviously excludes any kind of abusive or damaging behavior towards oneself or another. If your child wants to be abusive and/or damaging to themselves or someone else then clearly there is something truly wrong and intervention is quite obviously required. And with that said, when a person (of any age) feels an overwhelming desire to cross-dress or present themselves as the gender opposite from the body they were born into it is NOT behavior that is abusive or damaging. It is NATURAL for THAT person. What is abusive and damaging are the people who ridicule and hate "Cross-dressers" or "transgenders" because of their own misunderstanding, fears, prejudices, ignorance and general overall closed-mindedness.

And with all THAT said I want to say one more thing: Anyone else who feels the need to "warn" me or accuse me of forcing this on my son and how he needs to discover this on his own and how I'm "ruining" him please read this:
Curtis chooses this path ON HIS OWN. He has the freedom to wear boys clothing and present himself as a boy and play with boy toys if he wants. I know I said I put his boy clothes in a suitcase and I did but it's not like I hid it away or anything. It's right there in his closet and many of those boy clothes are back in his dresser drawers and hanging on hangers if he ever wants them. Curtis' dad and I provide the tools and the materials, Curtis makes the choices and Curtis dresses and presents himself the way he does not to make ME happy or to make his DAD happy but to make HIMSELF happy.

Thank you to everyone who is engaging in this discussion, it makes me feel that posting this story was the right thing to do.


No, no, no. You don't post pictures of children on the Internet. Ever. Not safe.

Love your spirit Jenn, but you left out the biggest part ~ it is in HIS happiness that you found your pleasure! My best to you and yours keep us up as your world turns you'll shine one more glimmer of hope in hearts of those who feel in that they are alone in the dark

It's totally upside down as to what makes news what is news and the reactions to it. We are a tabloid society and we don't care!

Great comment, jennbaa! I feel supported by you. Thank you! :)

PS: I wish you and you son a happy new year! :)

It was very interesting

Yes and if Curtis didn't want to wear female clothes Curtis would say so and would be unhappy in those clothes. But Curtis is happy and is enjoying life. Don't worry what other's say. They don't live with you so they don't see how things are. Anyway, they don't pay your bills so don't worry about them! lol

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i wish i ahd a mother like you and a school that would have acpeted me i would me much happier now. i am was and always will be feminine. much earlyer than seven from the time i could walk up stars by my self i have crossdressed and was so ashamed, scared, and alone because of it. i wanted nothing more than to be my self Breanna. i always wanted to be one of the girls. i wanted to were the dresses tha shirt out fits. i wanted to take dance, twirl,jazz. i wanted to go to slumber parties with my girlfreinds, lerning to dance, do my make up, hair,nails. put together outfits lern to be more comfertable in my feminineity. im 32 and just now getting to dress up and go out with girl freinds and i feel like a freak for asking for help teching me the ropes of woman hood. I'm so self cridical of my looks my body lke any girl. i always wanted the homecoming and prom exsperiance to get all glammed up in a buitifull gown to feel like a princeses to be held and kissed shile dancing to a slow song.
it only gets harder the older i get
to find that special woman that will love mw for who i am

Has anyone noticed that while so many are complaining about Jenn letting Cutis dress as a Girl, nobday seems to have anything to say about the TWO Tomboys with the short Cropped hair! Anybody want to point out the Difference/ What a Double standard! All the research I have ever done, and I have done a lot, there is NO Connection between Clothing and Sexuality, and there is no Reason that if we think it is Cute for a Girl to be Boyish, then why can't it be Cute for a Boy to be Girlish! Jenn is a wonderful Mother that Loves her son. There is NOTHING Wrong with what she is doing! The Problem with so Many people that want to Criticize her is that they are Afraid of the Truth that many males WANT to be Feminine.....Sorry, but that IS the reality! Jenn, you are a Very Nice Person....don't let anyone tell you anything different!

Yes I was wondering if anyone was going to notice this, thank you for taking the time to point it out. It's that crusty old belief that people seriously need to let go of:
That boys are better than girls so for a girl to aspire to be like a boy is a good thing, like a upgrade of their character but for a boy to aspire to be like a girl is a bad and shameful thing, like a downgrade of their character. It's bunch of HOGWASH and it's time for people to WAKE UP! ANYONE can do and be HOWEVER they choose to be and do WHATEVER they want to do so long as what one chooses to do doesn't involve harming themselves or another person. If a girl wants to be a carpenter and wear overalls and build buildings then that's what she should go do. If a boy wants to be a nurse or a stewardess or a hairdresser or a florist or any of the other million things people think boys shouldn't do then the boy should go ahead and do it and if the boy wants to wear a dress while doing these things then wear the darned dress already! Plain and simple! Common sense! It's time to let go of fear and hatred and choose acceptance understanding. THIS is the only TRUE hope we have as surviving as a species! Seriously!

Oh and Patti59, I forgot to say, thank you for your wonderful compliment! " Jenn, you are a Very Nice Person....don't let anyone tell you anything different!" You are so sweet! You warm my heart! Thank you!

Hi Jenn! I can Hear your Frustration Loud and Clear...and I Agree with you 100,000% If that is Possible! Actually, at this point, Encouraging Boys to be Feminine is the Real Upgrade....If only Society would catch Up. It is so Clear that you did not Force Curtis to do Anything, but he Chooses to wear the Feminine clothing...a Choice many a boy Wishes he were allowed to make!!!! Here is the Link to my Blog...

I Hope you will look at it and see just how many people there are that Agree with the way you and I think! Would be Great to hear from you after you look on the Blog...My E-Mail Address is on the Blog if you would want to contact me .

Thanks, Patti

Well said Patti!!!!

We have the courage to allow are girls to aspire towards things thought only to be masculine! We will never be truly equal as a society until we have the courage to allow are boys to aspire to those thing thought to be more feminine!

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My sister used to dress me up and I got a lot of positive reinforcement from my mom and her friends. To this day, I resent that and struggle every single day of my life to hold back and bury my feelings of wanting to be a woman. I am happily married but have to be strong every day fighting against it. If you allow and encourage this for your son, please give him the tools he needs to become and act like a woman. If you decide to go that way, teach him to walk in heels early! It is the biggest indulgence for us girly boys!

Billy, no one should ever resent the life they have. Your sister did nothing wrong, your mother isn't guilty of doing anything other then seeing joy in sharing part of them with you. I think you have the tools to do what you need to, but lack the resolve to the consequences that will/may prevail. Your inner strength is something you may have given up due to the feelings your get from giving power over you to others. Your words are true though in when a mother or sisters shares this with a son or brother, they also must share a strength in the the persona of femininity.

I'm sorry billycuck to hear that you have such a struggle over your feelings. I pray that you find peace and resolution to your inner conflict. Thank you MrsJoanieBNH for adding your words of wisdom.

Thank you for your concern, and yes, I do struggle every day!

kids are not sexually mature and are incapable of making decisions about gender identity. Until they go through puberty, it is a parents responsibility to treat their kids like the gender they were born to. This woman should have her son taken away and you people encouraging her are ******* insane,,plain and simple common sense!

Profanity and a false dogma are not common sense they are tools of those blinded by ignorance.

Melodie, it's a constant amazement of mine at the numbers of people who will attempt to tell you who you are!

An what you are not!

BTW, I believe gender expression is an innate part of who we are. We see it all around us in how people dress themselves from plan to fancy. Being one sex or the other does not determine the clothing you most feel comfortable in, nor should it.

And this is because of the pressures to "act" in a particular way by society and be the interpretations of those pressures by individuals according to their need and confidence. Social pressures when express wrongly and interpreted incorrectly lead to all kinds of social dysfunctions. Being transgender is not a symptom of social abnormalities it is a biological occurrence in an individual.

I also agree to the closet. And clothing choices. If parents could be less gender affirming, imagine the lives that could be saved. Social pressures to act according to your sexual organs, has been challenged in the world of women, it needs to be challenged in the world of men if we are to ever have equality of the sexes. Unfortunately that seems to threaten people who must reinforce stereotypes in order to perpetuate their ego and alter ego. As a species we are capable fortunately we are beginning to let go of our sexuality and gender rules.

And accusing somebody of being ignorant is how people like yourself dismiss facts that you dont agree with. So you like to pretend you are a woman regardless of your male genetalia,,really dont care,you are an adult,its your decision. But I got to draw the line when people use terms like transgendered children. If kids can make those kinds of decisions,,why do they arrest adults that have sex with willing teenagers? Oh, what do I know though,,I'm ignorant I ain't know notin'.

Very well put Melodie13, thank you for your contributions to this discussion that has arisen in response to this story about my son. Your experience and insights bring the perspective that people need to hear and understand. Thank you also MrsJoanie for your words of wisdom. Too mobiuswahn - I'm sorry but you're speaking from a place of ignorance in regards to this subject. I'd like to encourage you to open your heart and your mind and do a little research and maybe even a little soul-searching to try and understand something that you have never felt or experienced. Unless you have the kind of feelings my son and many other males of many different ages have in regards to their masculinity vs their femininity you really can't understand what it's all about. Life is not as cut and dry as we would like to believe it to be and some people feel very differently than others but that doesn't mean there is anything wrong with them. I have to strongly disagree with you. It as absolutely NOT "a parents responsibility to treat their kids like the gender they were born" it is a parents responsibility to be in tune with their child's feelings and personal identity, to be in tune with their interests and desires and to give them the tools materials and support they need to explore and experience their interests and desires at their own pace. To watch them and see which direction they find themselves naturally choosing and to give them the unconditional love and support they need to be the person they find themselves to be rather than trying to force them into a mold that you think is right for them no matter what they want for themselves. That I say is the abusive path of a parent; to force your child to be something they are not because you yourself are not comfortable with it.

Ignorant is what ignorant does! Ignorant according to the Webster dictionary : the state or fact of being ignorant : lack of knowledge, education, or awareness. Mobious you can pontificate your intolerance for anything you don't understand as much as you wish, but learn that when you do you sound misinformed and uneducated. What others do in their lives had little effect on yours so crawl out from under your rock, open the blinds, peer into the beautiful world all around you and concern your self with matters that really matter. Um like is your family well taken care of and loved, are you out of debt, can you add to the value of society with a talent of your own, is the quality of your life so wonderful and perfect that you can admonish others for their difference. Yes Mobious I think my accusations of ignorance have nothing to do with my defense of my lifestyle and more to do with your inability to defend yours.

BRAVO! Jenn your words are clear and on target keep them alive and close to your heart as they can not ever be wrong, as it is never wrong to allow the spirit of our children to flourish and blossom as god (or what ever higher power exists) expected them to be when we were blessed in their creation as gift on lone to us to teach humanity love kindness and respect for all others to.

You people can call me ignorant all you want. It is what people like yourselves do when confronted with someone that uses logic and research to form their opinion, one that contradicts your life style. You attack out of fear that I might actually be right. I guess people like yourselves will continue to call me ignorant until I dress up as a woman and start injecting myself with female hormones. Men trying to be women and women trying to be men is abnormal human behavior, plain and simple. Human beings are not asexual and they do require someone of the opposite sex to procreate. That is a fact. People getting sex changes are basically guilty of self mutilation. Do some research into the topic and read about how people that mutilate themselves do it because it makes them feel good. You might discover that you sound just like those people. Mr.Joanie, you are not some wise sage, just a transvestite trying to justify your own choices. Jenn, you do need help and you should have your son taken away until you get it. BTW, you never did say where the kids father is. Does he agree with you? Does he even know you are using his son as a human barbie doll?

This is what you call logic? Please go crawl back under your rock you niether understand or know who you are talking to nor have you the ability to use logic. You add nothing hear but bigotry and ignoranc! Here is your last show me one scientific study that proves you are correct and we are wrong papers place your words are just rhetoric perpetuated by your ignorance and the bias of others like you.

Thank you Melodie! You have the experience and knowledge of this subject that helps and backs us lay people up.

I know it's amazing to me that people don't read it, nor try to understand it. Fear and fear of change is the only thing I can think that is the reason some people have no empathy or desire to understand for those like us

I believe that in part as well, they is a certain bliss in ignorance

Ok, you have degreeS in phsychology? I doubt it! If you expect me to believe that while you spew incorrect information that coincidentally promotes homosexuality and transgenderism, then I am an astronaut,doctor, chemist that invented the wheel. Attack all you want, all I hear is fear.

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I'm sorry, but I didn't know it was your guys', meaning the people saying mean things, right to decide that a mother is wrong for this. Has it been scientifically proven that little boys are messed up wearing girl clothes as a child? No not really. Not that's I've read and even of there is proof, who cares? Why judge a woman over this? It's her and HER child's decision. Not anyone else's. to me it seems he enjoys dressing in those clothes and I personally don't see anything wrong with it.

If my daughter wants to dress up as a boy, who am I to tell her not to? Though, I don't see that happening seeing as she's four months old and loves frilly little dresses and pinks and purples.. Anyways. If she ends up wanting to dress like a boy I wouldn't stop her. My main concern is keeping her happy and healthy and if that's what'll make her happy, then fine. And I'd hope nobody calls me a bad mother for doing so.

Whether she encouraged it or not, the little one didn't get mad or sad or even fight over or complain about it, so why get so upset about it. He could have, at any time have said, "mommy, I don't want to wear that" or "I don't like this." But he didn't so she apparently she didn't "hold him hostage" or anything. If he's happy, why make him wear boys clothes which have apparently made him sad.

I love your acceptability by the way. I wish more were like you.

Mona, thank you for thinking the way you do, as it reinforces that we are all different and individual and have a right to our inner senses and self image. There is nothing wrong with wearing clothing, gender labels are social norms perhaps but not exclusive to one or the other sex. I remember when it was blasphemous for a woman to wear jeans. We are experiencing new things finding new things out about gender and sexuality and evolving past the dogma of bias and bigoted thinking. Those unwilling to grow will always throw vulgarity and condemnation on those who have evolved past archaic thinking. An article of clothing does not cause any harm, it doesn't create any disease. It is society and it's "rules" that cause the harm. It's a learned and learning fact that we all express our gender to our liking (unfortunately it's still more limited (by social ignorance) for boys and men than it is for girls and women) Clothing as they say' does "make the "man" and if that clothing is more expressive and the individual is celebrated for it the more confident it makes him or her feel. What could be wrong with that.

I try to be a healthy male, but I feel very screwed up over it!

One should never feel screwed, or screwed up for leading a healthy life. I'm not sure what it means to be a healthy male or what you mean by telling us this. To me healthy doesn't have a gender and is filled with respect for the mind body and soul.

That is exactly what I think. I believe that if the child is happy, why force them to be someone they don't want to be or not happy with? It's like me forcing my daughter be a lawyer if she wants to be a dancer. To me, it just doesn't make any sence. It really doesn't. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and way of life, and nobody should tell anyone else they are wrong for the way they live or what they say or do.

This is so true Mona, unfortunately many people feel that because their intentions are good (you will go to law school) their motivations are as well. There is also a balance that needs to occur as well though, as you don't want your children doing anything they want to. So some insistence on the part of the parent is necessary to create that balance and well adjusted child. Enforcing that a child complete a desire without quitting mid stream, or insistence that their appearance be presentable and acceptable to a venue when going places or situations of formality. That behaviors such has fighting or lying need to be curbed so the idea of right and wrong are patterned in that child.
As for your child's opinion, "I don't want to eat my carrots" needs one kind of attention, "I feel different than what I think other girls or boys should feel" is a completely different story. Allowing the persona of a child to bloom, and bloom in a beautiful way should be our task as parents.

I guess I am just bitter and jealous because I don't feel like I have the option to live freely as a woman. I must be there for my family who rely on me and love me for the man I am. I just feel very bitter for my mom and sister for allowing and helping the cross dressing to go on. I have also experienced people who became outcasts when they changed their gender. I would love to be a woman but want nothing to do with being an outcast to my friends and family. I guess some people are stronger than me in that regard. Sorry if I disappoint you with my point of view.

I also have cares and concerns about family matters and do so much more for them then myself. I just look at it as the motherly thing to do.
Billy, there is no disappointmeant on my part, you have to do the things that you do. It is just my conclusion that those are your choices, and we all have to live with the choices me make, as I said I can't be completely free either because of my family obligations, I just turn it around in to a motherly responsibility. Also don't turn a blind eye, thinking that you will loose a lot of people. People love you better when you are happy and productive. Sometimes you have to be honest to show them how happy you can be. Again though it is your choice.

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Thank you so much for seeing your child as an individual and not a gender expectation.

Thank you for your kind words and support and for all that you've said in this discussion!

Thank you for your concern, you seem really genuine and honest. Thanks for sharing!

I think what is being missed here is the fact he is not so much enjoying being dressed as a girl as your pleasure at seeing him dressed as a girl. It is your choice and preference to dress him as a girl. On no level is this right but very confusing to a small mind. Get a doll or have another child maybe a girl and if not adopt and let him grow to an age where HE gets to choose for his own life what he wants to be.

If read thoroughly, the young lad is the one who chose the dress, and skirt. He may only be experimenting with this style, or it may become his identity. That is for him to grow into. The fact that his mother likes it as well is a plus for him and his own development. The fact that he found some female friends that actually wear dresses and skirts is the unusual thing here.

The other little girls actually dressed him in the dress.
The Mother says she wanted to share this for MY own therapy.
Once I saw him dressed that way I wanted him to stay that way.
It seems too much of what she wants and feels.
I have no issue with boys/men who feel better in womans clothes but a 4yr old child need not be incouraged to be a girl if he's not one and confuse him about his gender.

With all the utmost respect mpde, as a transgender individual (your welcome to read my profile) and an advocate for children who are transgender I have to take issue with the premiss that a child should not be "encouraged to be a girl". First I must say that we encourage girls to be boys (or at least experience "boy" activities everyday). Why is the inverse so offensive? Is it still so necessary that we "force" males to be "men"? Isn't it become more obvious everyday that there are many versions of being male and being female? Women have crossed the gender stereotyping why can't men? In fact this debate always reminds me that when argued that men can not be feminine but women can be masculine, that there is a huge meningitis mentality present. As if men are some how better then women. And if I may also make this point. If a child is transgender, they know it from very early on in their development. To not allow the child to experience their life as they envision themselves you are stealing precious developmental stages of life from them. One of the hardest thing for an adult transgender person is to learn the nuances that children and young adults learn about themselves that will make his or her life easier. Yes society is harmful to those who do not conform. Lets teach our children to stand on their own against the oppressiveness of individuality rather then teach them to heel to the side of a limiting society?

You also mention confusing him about his gender. I will reiterate. A child knows themselves far better then any adult, and thus it would be harmful to force a child to be something they are not. Such as forcing a transgender child to societal stereotypes. I knew that I was not a boy. I could not admit this to anyone during my youth so that I could get the necessary help that would lead to my being a healthy adult woman with out the hurt I have experienced and the lost experiences I should have had. Until we stop making it evil for boys to experience / role play the harmless joys women can. To me that is a social injustice and a determent to all transgender individuals as it reinforces that gender wall they so necessarily are trying to cross

And lastly, many parents find pleasure(s) in seeing their children excel at all kinds of things in life, the good ones encourage the talents of their children. Jenn should not be accused of doing anything wrong or dissuaded from doing anything any other parent would do when they see the brightness and joy in their child doing what the child does either on their own or introduced. As this is the spark the will ignite a life of surety and self confidence that makes life successful for them.

There is no such thing as a transgender child. Children are sexually and emotionally immature and are incapable of making that decision until they go through puberty and decide for themselves. These are terms people like you created to make yourself feel better about the choices you made.

Mobius, what gives you the right to condemn those for living as they feel necessary. I suggest you live a day in my life before you tell me what my or others like myself are like. Our inner drives are not anything we choose they exist period. Whether we wish to act on them or not is not your edict. When people like you know nothing about and choose to not become educated to that which is unfamiliar you insist to proliferate ignorance with your vitriol. Your statement that there is no such thing as a transgender child proves that you know nothing. I was a transgender child. I could tell you at the age of four (1959) that I was not a boy, (where on earth did I get that Idea?) and I have lived a life of turmoil because society refused to listen to me. I am a real person, I have tried to understand myself and I have done much work to live a life that I have had to because of social pressures around me and bad choices on my part. Perhaps because of an ignorance propagated by the dogma you project. Believe me the only choice I make is to protect myself and my family from the ignorance held to by people like you. If it were not for you and your way of thinking. I may have had the confidence and way of thinking that could have allowed me to be a much better individual. Your denying, is denying a child that is gender dysphoric the freedom to live life in their image. You and your ilk should be ashamed and you should carry the guilt of harming individuals who are different. We are all humans and we are all just trying to get by. Crawl out from under your rock and live and let live.

Thank you so much MrsJoanie your words make my heart smile! It feels so good to read something that makes sense! Common sense! Thank you for the sharing the wisdom and experience of your life!

Dear mobiuswahn - in regards to "There is no such thing as a transgender child" you really could not be more wrong. You have no idea really how wrong you are. Just because you've never experienced such feelings doesn't mean they're wrong, invalid and not real. Please take the time to educate yourself about things you know nothing about before taking the time to respond to them. Thanks!

Your so very Welcome Jenn, It's important for me to ensure you and others that your son and any others son and their moms or dads should not be admonished for their joy/allowance in their child's inner expressions. There is no way of knowing whether your son is gender questioning or not. Right now he's probably not at that age where he has discovered the disappointment that he is not a girl. But why should we make him wait. Either he is or he is not. If he is not. He will migrate to other activities and the fancy dress parties will just be sweet memories and confidence building. (you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make them wear makeup lol) If it is that he is gender questioning then you have opened the door to the freedom and ability of him to be able to question it with out fear of dissappoint you, a gift every trans child should have from their parents. I think as long as you keep the conversations open. encourage all kinds of behavior, ensure his confidence is only balanced with respect for others and not stimied by peer pressures he will grow to be a fine young person and healthy adult. We are also very furtunate to be living on the threshold of a new age where gender lines are being blurred everyday. The "he wears women's clothing he must be gay" stigma is dying off, more and more women are seeing softer more in touch males as a good thing. No, as far as I'm concerned you need to be thanked for allowing your son to have joy in his life. that is the joy that you say your feeling. It happens every time any of us feels we are doing something good.

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