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I Prefer To Dress My Son As A Girl

My son Curtis is a frail skinny little thing with thin delicate features and straight fine shoulder length blonde hair. He's never been a rough and tumble sort of boy, he prefers playing pretend games and he likes drawing and doing other kinds of art projects and he likes cooking with me and helping me with the chores around the house. He doesn't like things to be messy and actually enjoys cleaning up and "making things neat" as he puts it. His room is always very orderly. He has a very sweet and delicate way about him and isn't into wrestling or playing "Army men" or "Cops and Robbers" or other traditionally boyish games like this. And though he likes his little toy cars and his Lego's he also has a thing for horses and has a collection of toy horses and My Little Pony toys. He also has some Groovy Girl dolls that he likes playing with and though he doesn't officially have a dollhouse he does have this really cool wooden tree house that was made in Switzerland that I bought for him for Christmas a few years ago and he has an assortment of little wooden people, animals, and furniture that go along with the tree house. There's even little wooden plants and a toy planter boxes with holes for the plants to go in so he can pretend the little people have their own organic garden. It's so sweet to watch him play with his little wooden people and make up these elaborate stories about what they're doing. Unfortunately when other boys have been over to play they criticize his toys and tease him for playing with "girls toys" so he brings out his Lego's and hos toy cars but I can see that he's disappointed that other boys won't play with his tree house or his My Little Pony toys. But when girls come over to play he's right at home with them and they play with his My Little Pony toys and they play with his Groovy Girl dolls and with the tree house and all the little wooden people and he's happiest little boy in the world because the girls don't criticize him and make fun of him for his choices in what toys he likes.

I've always encouraged him to be himself, to embrace his natural demeanor and personality, I've never tried to make him into more of a boy and when he's asked for toys like Groovy Girl dolls and My Little Pony horses I've bought them for him without question because I really don't see anything wrong with a boy playing with these kinds of toys.

So about a year ago when Curtis had just turned six (he's seven now) we went to visit a friend of mine with two daughters about Curtis' age who had just recently become a single mother due to a divorce with her deadbeat husband. We visited for one week and Curtis was perfectly happy and comfortable having two girls to play with. On the second day we were there the girls dressed him as a princess and I could not believe how adorable he was in that pink little princess dress! He had the cutest shy little smile on his face as he and the girls came out to show off his 'new outfit'. The girls were also dressed and princesses and I didn't break out in laughter or ask why he was wearing a dress I took him in my arms and gave him hugs and kisses and told him that he looked absolutely precious and adorable and he giggled and laughed and twirled about the living room with the girls and I could see in his eyes how much he was enjoying being in that adorable little princess dress.

The girls brought him outside and three of them went dancing twirling and running all over the front and back yards of the house and Curtis was perfectly happy to be running around outside in a dress. When it came time for lunch we called the kids inside and he was also perfectly happy sitting at the table and eating lunch in the pink princess dress. After lunch the kids played inside for a while in the girls' bedroom and when I checked on them I saw that they were playing with Barbie Dolls and Curtis was very happy sitting there on the floor in a pink princess dress playing with Barbie's so I let him be and didn't say anything. The truth was I found that I really enjoyed seeing my little boy in a cute little dress playing with Barbie Dolls!

By four in the afternoon the kids were in the TV room watching Sponge Bob and all three of them were still in the princess dresses and the dresses stayed on until after dinner when it was time for baths and getting ready for bed. I put Curtis into his regular boy pajamas and asked him if he had a good day and he got a dreamy sort of smile on his face and said that he had more fun than ever. I hugged and kissed him and then read a book to the him and the girls and soon after they were all asleep and when I went to bed that night I thought about how much I enjoyed seeing Curtis being so happy in a pink princess dress.

The next day we had plans to take the kids to a children's museum and to have a picnic at a park near the museum and after breakfast as we were getting the kids dressed I had what I guess could consider to be a bit of a wicked thought. I wanted to see my little boy going around happily dressed as a girl! I'm not sure why other than the fact that he really had fun the day before being a princess all day and I wanted him to be happy and I just couldn't get over how adorable he looked in that dress. It just seemed to fit his personality so well and with his long straight fine blonde hair and his delicate thin features he looked more like a girl than a boy already but especially when he was running around in a pink dress. So as I helped Curtis out of his pajamas I said to him, "You know Curtis, it's a really hot day out today. I think that you'd be much more comfortably of you wore a dress today instead of your pants and t-shirt."

Curtis gave me an inquiring look and I glanced over at my friend and she gave me a surprised sort of smile shrugged her shoulders and said, "Why not? I'm sure the girls won't mind lending a dress to him for the day."

The girls thought this was a great idea and they started taking dresses out of their closet that he could wear and soon Curtis was overwhelmed with choices of dresses that he could wear but before he tried any of them on I said that he needed to have appropriate underwear if he was going to wear a dress and I took his Spider-man underpants off of him and looked in the girls’ underwear drawer for some panties. Curtis is such a sweet and innocent little boy that he didn't really care that the girls were seeing him naked, he just stood there and waited for me to get him some underwear and I just couldn't help myself, I chose a pair of bright pink panties that had a little white bow in the front and I held them up and said, "I think these will be nice for you" and I helped Curtis put them on and we all noticed how he ran his hands all over the panties and touched the little bow with his thin finger.

Next he tried on several dresses and he really loved twirling about the room in them and looking at himself in the mirror and after about forty five minutes of trying different dresses on he settled on a cute little sundress that had pastel stripes in plaid patterns all over it and tied in bows at the shoulders with thin straps and had a sash sewn into the middle that tied into a bow in the back. He danced and twirled about and admired himself in the mirror and then I put a pink barrette in his hair and he looked at himself in the full length mirror and held the dresses skirt out and turned around a few times seeing how he looked from all angles and his eyes were sparkling the entire time. He finally said, "Wow, I really look like a girl mommy! This is fun! I like being a girl!" We all cheered when he said this and then we finished getting ourselves ready and soon we were out the door and into my friend’s car and on our way to the Children's museum.

Curtis was in heaven all day long. He was so natural and comfortable in the dress and as far as I could tell no one at the museum suspected anything. He looked like a girl and people just assumed that he was a girl although a few people did overhear one of us call him Curtis a few times and I noticed some funny looks when this happened but we just carried on like all was normal and we all had a wonderful time at the museum. Afterwards we had out picnic in the park and Curtis and the girl's ran around and played on the playground for a couple of hours. Afterwards we went for ice cream and then eventually headed back to my friend’s house. Once we were back home the girls changed their clothes and Curtis changed into a pretty pink blouse and a light purple terry cloth skirt and he exclaimed very loudly that girl's clothes were so much better than boys clothes.

That night I put Curtis into a nightgown and he was absolutely thrilled with it. The next day he expected to dress like a girl again so I had him choose the dress and panties on his own and he chose white panties that had pink hearts printed on them and sparkling trim on the waistband and a pink sundress. We went into town and did some shopping and went to see a movie and again went to a park where the children played together and at one point I saw some boys gathered around Curtis and the girls and I was wondering what it was all about and then Curtis and the girls came running over to us and Sarah,, the older girl (She was eight at this time) said, "People know Curtis is a boy because of his name and those boys over there started to tease him for being a sissy"

We all talked about it and Curtis suggested that we call him Courtney instead so it was decided. So long as Curtis was dressed as a girl we would call him Courtney. It took a little getting used to for all of us including Curtis who didn't even respond to the name Courtney a few times until he was nudged and then he remembered and he laughed about it.

Curtis refused to wear boy clothes for the rest of the visit and spent all his time being dressed as a girl and he was very excited about it. When it was time for us to leave he couldn't stop saying how much of a wonderful time he had but when it came time for him to put boy clothes back on he became really sad. He didn't want to go back to being a boy and the girl's rushed off to their bedroom and came back a few minutes later with two dresses that they said they hardly ever wore and of it was OK with their mother they would like to give them to 'Courtney' as a gift. Their mother smiled and said it was fine and Curtis hugged all them in turn and thanked them profusely. I helped him out of the nightgown he was wearing and into one of the dresses and after more hugs and kisses and goodbyes we got into our car and drove home.

Curtis wanted to wear the dress to bed that night but I wouldn't let him. Instead I gave him a long t-shirt and told him to pretend that it was a nightgown. He wasn't quite so happy with this choice but he was tired and accepted it and went to bed and the next day I put him into the other dress that the girls had given him and brought him to Target and he and I had the time of our lives shopping in the girls section for an entire new wardrobe for my little boy! he was the happiest child on the face of the planet that morning and I spent over two hundred dollars on new girl’s clothing for him - several dresses and skirts, blouses, four packages of girl's panties, a collection of tights, five different nightgowns and I even bought him a pink leotard and a girl's one-piece pink bathing suit with Barbie printed across the front in sparkling letters! We had quite a fashion show that afternoon!

I packed all of Curtis' boy clothes into a suitcase and put it on a corner of his closet and we filled his closet with his new girl clothes and now, more than a year later, Curtis is seven and a half years old and he dresses like a girl all the time. He won't go back to wearing boys clothing. I now there will be issues to deal with as he gets older but for now he is the happiest little boy ever. He decided to keep his name as Curtis because he's not ashamed of being a "boy/girl" as he has coined himself to be and I have him enrolled in a small private school that accepts him as a "girl/boy" and supports his choice in being feminine. The school already had two Tomboys attending - two girls with short boy's haircuts who always dress like boys and prefer to play boys games - one would never know they were girls - and the school embraced the idea of having a boy who prefers dressing and presenting as a girl for the contrast it would create in the classroom and for furthering the teaching of tolerance and acceptance to the other children in the school. Curtis is now best friends with both boys and girls at his school and he is so incredibly happy to be living as a girl even though he has the body of a boy. We've watched the videos together on youtube about transgendered children and he's decided that he must also be transgendered and he's happy that he's not alone.

So that's my story. My "Confession". I chose to put my little boy in girl's clothing because I enjoyed seeing him dressed this way and by doing so I believe that I helped him to discover his true inner nature. Maybe some of the readers here will think I'm a bad mother for telling my son that fateful day that I thought he'd be happier wearing a dress but I believe that I did the right thing, that he's much happier as a girl than he was a boy.
I was looking for somewhere to share this story for my own therapy, to just tell it and put it out there that once I saw my son dressed as a girl I wanted him to stay that way and as it turned out, he prefers it himself, if he didn't like wearing dresses and being like a girl then there’s no way I would of forced it on him but when I saw how happy he was in that pink princess dress I wanted to provide him the opportunity to indulge in feminine clothing, after all he already had always been more feminine than masculine and when he embraced the chance to be like a girl I couldn't help but encourage it so when I came across Experience Project and saw what people are doing here, sharing their stories about their lives I decided to share the story of me and my little boy/girl. If you’re so inspired then please feel free to let me know what you think, even if it’s negative, I can take it because I’m 100% convinced what I did the right thing by my little boy but I’m curious to know how others will react.
jennbaa jennbaa 36-40, F 124 Responses Nov 24, 2012

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please consider adding me to your circle, I think you are a great mom. I wish I had that kind of support when I was young.

WOW! I think you are a wonderful mom, giving him the choice of what clothes to wear, but on the other hand, I would be worried about the bullying he will get at school, or after school. Perhaps a better idea would be to home school him if he wants to dress as a girl. I
At school, which gym class does he go to and which change room does/will he use. He certainly can't use the girls change room, and if he uses the boys room, I think he may get hurt.
What ever your decision, good on you girl, and all the best in the future. Please keep us updated as time goes on as to how things are going. CHEERS!

It sounds to me like Curtis is a person we would call transgendered today. More and more young children are coming out with the idea that their minds are of the opposite gender from their physical bodies. If you go on Youtube and look for videos from the CBS program "60 Minutes" you will find several in this category. In particular, look for videos about a child named Jazz who was born a boy but decided she was really a girl in a boy's body when she was five years old. Jazz is a few years older than Curtis, so watching those videos may give you some idea what is ahead for both Curtis and you in the coming years. I believe there is also some contact information to organizations of parents of transgendered children like Jazz and Curtis.

Trying to put a lot of scientific research in a short summary, researchers studying how children learn have definitely concluded there are both anatomical and physiological differences between boys brains and girls brains but they need to do a lot more research to determine exactly what those differences are and how they work. Also, most doctors now agree all fetuses start off as female, then early in the pregnancy some change to male. Nature is not always perfect, so it is reasonable to assume that in some cases, such as Curtis, the body changes from female to male resulting in an apparent boy who feels s/he should be a girl. Similarly, there are cases where the brain changes from female to male while the body remains female, resulting in apparent girls who feel they should have been born as boys.

I noted your comment about Curtis saying God made him the way he is. I can relate very much to this. I have male anatomy but I have always had a definite feminine side in me. I was in my 30s when I came to the realization that God made me the way I am to fill a definite purpose in His Divine Plan, although I may never know what that Divine Plan is in this life. This did not come to me in any great revelation, but came to me over several years.

Curtis is very fortunate to have your acceptance of him they way he is. He also has a Heavenly Father who accepts him just as you do.

whether you think you did the right or wrong thing, your right. it is absolutely fine if you are trying to make your som happy. howevr i do think that you should have said, "you had los of fun in that dress yesterday, do you want to do it again?" indstead of making up a reson like "it's hot today" scince it makes hom happy let him do it until it becomes a problem. up a reason like "it's hot today" scince i

You're right when you say you did the right thing. You did what every parent should do and that is to embrace your child's decisions and encourage their curiosities without pushing them into doing what the world thinks to be right.

Thanks to your support, your child will become successful in many things and will make you proud.

you are a great mom i wish i had a mom like you

What a cute story. You make your son happy so that's great.

why would you do that to your son

Jenbaa explained herself very clearly. Her motivations and her son's desire to try this were easy to see in her story. This may be impossible for you to imagine, but there are people, who at that age, know that they are not cisgendered and want to explore their gender identity.

Bravo to Jenbaa for her measured response and her loving support for her son!

Your right trust me I held it in I didn't have a supportive mother like you to let me make that choice I was to afraid to come out and now I have to hide it for the rest of my life I always regret not telling someone when I was little you did a great thing you made his life so much easier you are a wonderful mother

Your story is awesome and I enjoyed reading it. I'm a woman but I'm trapped in a man body. I would live to dress the way I feel inside; a woman. It is really hard living this way. My heart goes out to you and your little girl.

So very great I wish you were my mom you could have to little boy/girls and id love having him as my little sister

Why would you do that? Please stop the girly stuffs for him for the sake of his long term personality. I mean, he's still a kid, and he'll go along with whatever you presented to him. If you'll guide him to be a man, and become one.

Perhaps you don't understand what is going on here. He -is- who he -is-, not 'who-you-make-him-to-be'. He may continue in this path, or become more traditional. No one can predict his outcome.

Jennbaa is responding to where he is right now, a most loving and supportive gesture. Forcing him to be something he is not will lead to unhappiness, depression or worse.

I like your choices. It seems to me that you have done the right thing for your son. Some boys just cannot be the he-men that they are expected to be. I have read several stories on EP written by mothers that have sons that are miserable but these moms can't do what you have done because of the husbands attitude. Keep on following your mothers intuition and your boy will be a happy, contributing person when he grows up.

i love it...so cute/funny. just wondering have you ever given him a wedgie because i know when i was younger and wore tighty whities (basically the same as panties) my sister gave me wedgies and now i like to put a pair of panties on and get wedgies idk why but i love it. I even give myself them but i like when others give them to me more(hence my stories). My point is maybe he will like them too.

You do what you want........my mother did it too......i was cute.........and i live all my life like that.......and that is complicated.......in the begining :)......and all the way

Wow Jen you are a great lady you must really love Curtis and he must be very happy well done. I really think that we should live as we feel and not as others say we should live.
Steve

Sounds like your using your son to be the daughter you never had. He's probably just like that because he realises that you approve of it. I'm not saying you should try to change him. And its totally fine for little boys to play with horses and dolls. But how much of it is your influence?? Have you ever gotten him a "family" of super hero dolls? Or maybe a little farm set with horses, instead of my little ponies? I'm sure he's a great kid and some boys are less masculine but you shouldn't encourage him to "be a girl". The panties... the complete girls clothing... i dont know. Maybe he is a little more girly than most boys and thats OK. but are you supporting his feminine qualities?, or are you taking them and turning him in to a girl? I'm not judging your decisions as his mother, but i have friends who were in his position and it was forced on them. Just my experience and some things to think about.

sorry but my brother was the same way and he wanted to wear dresses and nail polish and my did wouldn't allow it so my mom would paint them clear but he wanted colors and it made life harder for him because he was pretending to be what he wasn't and it has had negative affects ever since. trust me, if he didn't want to be girly he wouldn't have gotten in the princess dress on his own in the first place! he wanted to be a girl she just said "yes its ok" and most parents wont do that for there child!

What a great Mother he must really love you !!! There are so many little boy out here that would have been so much better off if there mothers would have opened there eyes and did what was best for there child

I think your son is a lucky boy/girl and I think you must be a world class Mom...good for you.

how many gurls dying of envy hearing such a wonderful story.

hey'why ???

<p>Jenn,<br />
<br />
There's not much that I can add to the supportive comments that have already been made and there's really no need for me to regurgitate bits and pieces of my story as I have already posted some of it elsewhere here. <br />
<br />
What I would like to tell you is that over the years that I have been on EP I have encounter and befriended my share of transgendered people, most of whom are male to female. The vast majority knew from an early age that they were much different than others born to their same gender. <br />
For many of those able to summon the courage and strength to confide their secret to their parents and so called loved ones they were greeted with rejection and distain. Some resorted to behavour that resulted in self harm and even death. The lucky ones received help and support from perfect strangers. On very rare occasions their own parents, those people responsible for bringing them into this world and teaching them how to survive, actually supported them and yes loved them. Unfortunately these people seem to be the exception and yes exceptional human beings. <br />
<br />
Reading your account I would number you and your husband in that group. It gives me and other transgendered people hope that one day you will not be the exception and that the most basic of human principles, that of loving your children regardless of their so called faults, will be normal.<br />
I wish you and your family all the happiness and love that life has to offer.<br />
<br />
Jacquie</p>

Hiiii plz chat me

I wish you had been my mum and you'd dressed me as a girl as I grew up. I am a girl now. I'm just nineteen and got to be a girl a few months ago. I started with blockers at fourteen which stopped me developing as a boy, so my voice never broke and I've never had to do things like shave. I went onto female hormones at sixteen and went through puberty as a girl. I never had to go through puberty as a boy. From sixteen I went to school as a girl, but in another town, so nobody knew I'd ever been a boy. Because I changed sex young I think it is the reason no one has ever asked me if I used to be a boy. I'm just so happy now and absolutely nothing beats being a girl. I got there but I still wish you'd been my mum and then I could have worn dresses and girlie clothes like your son was able to do. Give my best wishes to him and tell him from me that nothing beats being a girl. Sasha

What a wonderful reply, Sasha you seem to be a real sweet heart. My best to both of you. may your weekend be filled with love and kind memories!

it sounds a little bit that you wanted a daughter and used him to fit that need. now saying that I am not saying your wrong. it appears Courtney's inner body may be a woman and he is slowly figuring it out. If you keep him dressed it should only be a home while at school he is in male clothing. Otherwise he will have a hard time with bullying at school. When he gets itno his teens then he will have a decision to make but I suspect his clitty will be more comfy in panties . I know my is

This is wise advice.

My mom wanted another daughter, too, and I was she. I'm so happy it worked out like that, otherwise I'd have been, well, not at all happy with who I am.

Jenn,

Well, I certainly can't fault you for doing what you feel is in the best interest of your son. I think you could find thousands here on EP who wish that their mothers would have offered let them the chance to wear panties and skirts and dresses and curls when they were younger.

I don't remember really asking to wear girl's clothes at first, but over the course of a summer when I was about 8, I had come to bond with my new step sister by pretending to be her girlfriend. My father passed a year earlier and I soon found comfort and acceptance in being dressed and raised as a daughter and a sister. Home schooling solved many of the normal problems and hormone therapy took care of most of the rest, and today as a 21 year old, I live with my sister and her girlfriend as I was raised ...as one of the girls.

And I still see my mother on a regular basis. I love her for who she is and how she took care of me and appreciate being raised in a loving family. Which ever way the wind blows for your young son, I think Curtis will always love you for allowing him to find his own way in life. The very best to you both ...Kaylee.

Hello it's been a long time since I've made any comments here; I've been very busy being a mom and a wife and even working to help make all the ends meet. But I come here periodically and see all the overwhelming support everyone is giving me and I wanted to take the time today finally to thank everyone for your kind and gracious words and for all the support I'm getting here!!

An update on Curtis is that he is an extremely happy, active creative and brilliant child and he's been dressing full time in girl's clothes for a good year now and he couldn't be happier. We had a sit-down with his school and told them that he wanted to return this fall in girl's clothing and I told them that he's been seeing a Gender Specialist and gave them the specialists contact info. The specialist supports Curtis in wearing the clothes that make him happy and was in support of him going to school in dresses and skirts. The school accepted his wish and he returned this fall wearing a gorgeous light purple dress with white tights. He's been wearing dresses and skirts all summer long so many of his school friends had already learned that Curtis was choosing to wear girl's clothing so seeing him in a dress and tights on the first day of school was not that much of a surprise for them but many of the kids didn't know so there was a lot of chatter and laughter when Curtis entered the school in his purple dress. But the teacher had a discussion with all the kids in his class about diversity and acceptance and in the end it worked out just fine. There are a few boys who have been having a hard time accepting Curtis in his girl's clothing but they're getting used to it and have not been bothering him about it recently. The teacher did have each of these boys write essays about why diversity and acceptance are important and she had talks with the boys' parents who apparently thought it very odd that a boy would choose to dress as a girl but they agreed that acceptance and understanding is what was needed, not bullying or teasing.

I asked Curtis if he wanted a girl's name - to use Courtney again - but he decided that he likes his name and didn't want to change it. He's perfectly comfortable with being a boy who likes girl things and says he doesn't feel like he was necessarily supposed to be a girl; he said that he's sure God made him a boy on purpose, that He didn't make a mistake with his gender, He just gave him the gift of being able to enjoy both genders!!

We are talking with his Gender Specialist about hormone treatment and are taking the first steps of going down that path.

Overall I'm very happy with the choices I made about encouraging Curtis to go ahead and wear the girl's dresses; it was just so natural for him to do so and he is now so incredibly happy. Everyday he gets up and has a blast choosing what outfit to wear for the day and he just can't wait to get out there in the world and play and learn and happily and openly Be Himself.

Again Thank you to everyone who has been giving such great support and kind words here! I'm glad I shared Curtis' story here; it gives me encouragement and I'm happy to see it gives others encouragement also. I will try to be more involved here as time allows,

Love Jen

(((((((((((((((((((((((hug))))))))))))))))))))) I am soo happy for you both.

It is nice to hear that things are going so well for Curtis - - I'm glad he's receiving such support from everyone, and with minimal teasing, too! It is a very good sign that Curtis knows who he is and is happy to be where he is in this moment.

It bodes very well that he will grow in a way that will turn out well!

What a nice update Jen on Curtis. I am glad to hear all is going well for him, including school. Kids can be so crewel but it sounds like the teachers and administrators handled his transition well. Thanks for the update.
Lee

Thanks so much for keeping us all up to date on what's been happening in your lives. It sounds like Curtis is doing very well. He really is quite courageous! My hat is off to you Jen, for letting Curtis be himself.

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You are a fantastic person that put your son's needs above preconceived expectations. Reading your story brought a tear to my eye that someone could be so caring and accepting.

I'm afraid DozerDan would make a train wreck of a parent.

I wish you all the best!

I completely agree with the above - these days parents should be in touch with there children's wants and needs - and if that means sons want to wear dresses- then so be it- fine by me.

I think a pretty boy at home looking after the standard house hold chores is much better than a person who is out on the street till late at night doing a mix of thinks which could include looking for trouble, doing drugs, smoking cigarettes and or drinking far too much grog.

maybe you should seek out a gender therapist. perhaps your son is really transgender. that should be addressed and maybe if so, get it treated. you have some time left but dont wait to long if hes really a transgender girl. Puberty will make it increasingly difficult if you wait too long

Good advice, Kyle.
Lee

We hve a picture on the wall of my nephew with a pink blanket and a smile and a caption underneath thet says "I just love pink":) He was about 3 years old. There's nothing girlish about my nephew. He just chose what he liked, not what adulrts expect him to like.

I think this clearly shows your Nephew feels safe and knows he won\'t be bullied in the above situation and that has got to be a good thing.

We thought it was cute:)

only thing I would do was send him to a camp for a few weeks next summer that will teaches him how to defend him self right and do the most damage with least effort and then back out except for refresher classes and allow him to grow as he wishes

he sounds very much like the one I fell in love with