Pregnant By A Married Man.. What Should I Do

I might get judged, I might get blamed but I just thought I would let people hear the story of my baby. My due to be baby boy who's father disappeared after I told him.
It wasn't love at first sight, god no it was friendship the kinda of friendship where we sat there talking to each other for hours about.. Pretty much nothing but still had a good time.
I first met him a few months before his wedding, we got close, best friends close, then feelings started to happen. He made the first move by kissing me, that was it I was hooked. Nothing else happened for a while just harmless flirting, texting, calls. Then after one night of being around him I ended up making the first move which ended up in us having "don't like to say but" passionate love making where he ended up telling me the wedding was going to be called off. I know I'm just as bad as he was for going through with having sex with a soon to be married man but he made me feel, amazing, loved. I didn't want to give that up. Few more months went past and it was soon enough his wedding day which he said wasn't going to be called off. Yeah right, found the pictures of the wedding from a mutual friend. That's when it hurt the most. When I spoke to him after he came back from his honeymoon he told me about how he couldn't because it would break her fathers heart who he was close with BLAH BLAH. After a while I forgave him, stupidly. We only had sex once after that and that was when they had an argument and he came running to me to "cheer him up" I know he used me but I don't know why I agreed to it.
Anyway, we list contact for about a year and half and found out he was getting legally separated from her due to HER cheating :/. I let him stay with me in the spare bedroom to clear his head and find out what he was going to do, talking bad about how she doesn't do anything for him, puts on weight, puts him down ECT. when we ended up having sex again, and again, and again and, well again.
About a month before I found out I was pregnant he came around and told me that he wanted to make it work for their child ( yeah he had a child with her within the timeframe we didn't speak) and saying that he didn't love her just wanted to see his child. So I accepted that and they tried to get on with their lives, while I hide this massive secret that was "baking" inside me. It wasn't until my friend was eating a breakfast that I nearly threw up. It had bacon on it, I knew what it meant. My sister and my mother was just like it when they were pregnant couldn't stand the smell. I took 3 tests to make sure it was positive. It was. Now was time to tell him.
I rung him up and asked him if he could come round, he was "busy" with his friends. But once I told him he soon shot around. He ended up in tears in my kitchen when I told him, I couldn't believe it myself. I was still in shock. All he kept on saying was, I've just got my marriage back on track I don't need this "thing" to destroy it. How could you call a baby. A "thing". I was confused all through the night of the day I told him, thinking that it was the best choice I've got, get rid of this "thing" to make his life easier. Then I spoke to my mother about it. Of course not pleased by my actions, she was over the moon that I was pregnant and that she would be a grandma.
Now. 6 months down the line, I'm so glad she made me change my mind and I'm waiting on seeing my baby boy and yet the married man who "cared so much" for me has not spoken a single word to me since the day I told him.
I don't want him in my life I just want my baby to be able to know his father. He had made me promised him not to tell his wife about the "thing" but I'm deciding whether to or not because even though there is my child, but there is also another innocent child as well.

What should I do????
Blueeyebubs Blueeyebubs
18-21, F
6 Responses Nov 30, 2012

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Raise your son!! Always put him first, your concern is not with his biological contributor. You can only control yourself!! Xoxo

His wife has a right to know if he has a kid by another woman and your child has a right to financial support from him and he has an obligation to provide health insurance.

Get a lawyer, get him subpoenaed to court, make sure his wife gets a copy, send it to her house or where she works, go to court and make a Judge order him to pay support.
Get the support deducted from his paycheck every month. A court order goes a lot further than a promise from a deadbeat dad. He does not love you or his child. He would be happy if you went away and he never heard from you or your child again.
He has already demonstrated that by making you promise not to tell his wife and being 'too busy' to come around.

You might even want to get a restraining order against him until a Judge can sort things out. But first, get a lawyer.

Good Luck.

Do not phone him, email him etc.....and tell him you need financial support and accept his word that he will pay so many dollars and don't accept the fact that he will buy you diapers, formula etc...... And don't get into a ******* contest with him. Make him do all communications through your lawyer. Don't delete any emails and if you have any you have deleted try to recover them. Get a copy of your phone records and texts from the phone company to prove you have been communicating. It will also prove he is a liar when he denies

Get a lawyer. Document everything. when you met him, when he moved in , what he told you etc.... I would have doubts about whether or not she was the one found cheating. If she cheated, why was he the one that moved out ?