My Guiding Side

As a child through my early adult years I could express my feminine side and be accepted. Then came a period of 20 years or so where I had to supress my feminine side. Now my feminine side can thrive daily, without the pretty 'feathers and frills' though.

I was hard and created an internal war that raged within me. So I had my 'Ah Ha Moment, my ephiphany. I guess the female side of my psyche, the real me, finally rose up in revolt. And WON!

I set my feminine side free and grow breasts and have more feminine looking body. Though I don't dare to wear pink or girly t-shirts or anything feminine in public, since I'm not out to my family or feiends, that doesn't mean that sometimes I'll will not wear something under my clothes, maybe a necklace, an anklet and panties as I do always. No one else can see it, but I know it's there.

I allow the woman I am to rule my life. Talhing, walking, sitting, thinking, you name it and she'll be right there. It's fine with me. I am sad that I can not wear all the pretty clothes and high heels I love, but that day will come too.

My  feminine side was most developed by my mother, watching her and emulating her. Followed closely by watching other women through out my life. I think that I learned something about feminine comportment from years of observing and interacting with my mother and other women.

I have identified as female all my life and I have come to grips with my 'duality' (being a woman trapped in a man's body) by allowing the real me, the woman to shine through.

It is second nature, natural to me now and I believe I 'survive' better for it. Allowing my mental, emotional, and spiritual development as a femaleguide me, I know that all is right and well with me and with others.

I feel it gives me strenth and allows me to succed more than I ever could have imagined.

         

Josie06 Josie06
56-60, F
3 Responses Feb 28, 2010

you have as always said what i think is the real me

very nice ..... !

Josie, You are a fine young lady and you owe it to yourself to be as open as possible. Do you know any others who are like you in sexual identity? Possibly you and they could both gain by allowing the clothes that you would both love to wear, be worn in the privacy of each other's home. I have another comment. Is anyone in your family expecially close to you? Chances are that they already know even if no one has mentioned it. It would be extreemly hard to be close to someone and not sense the body language. You need someone in your family that you can talk to openly. That would be a start. Be as happy in this life as it is possible for you to be. I think being accepted for who you are is important. You are a great gal and you could hang on my arm any time.