My Almost-12-year-old Som, Part 2

Now I feel like a complete idiot!

I came home yesterday and found my computer warm and some used tissues in the trash. The webcam (which I did not buy and do not know where he got it) was tucked away bady in a chair. I pretended not to see it and he snuck it back to some better hiding place. Last night I stayed on the computer until 4 a.m. just to keep him from sneaking onto it.

I found myself wishing he would hang out at malls or something so I could search his room. I've turned into a paranoid moron of the sort I swore I'd never become.

Now how do I have "The Talk" with him in such a way that he doesn't know I know his secrets?

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3 Responses Jul 29, 2008

As the parent, you need to set the guidelines. To nip the problem, you need to face it head on and tell him you know about the web cam and want to know from him how he is using it. It could start a dialogue so you can get into his world.<br />
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While there is nothing wrong with master bating, he needs to do it alone and not on the web cam. Perhaps there is a certain thrill or maybe he's doing it because other peers are doing it--it doesn't matter. What you should tell him is that he's not going to do it in your home. <br />
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You also have the option of adding a power on password to the computer and/or log in ID's which can restrict a lot of what he can and can't see and do with the computer.<br />
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As a parent, our job is to protect our children from the dangers of the world and educate them while we can. All too soon, they will be grown and gone!

12 is so young... ohhh.

Hmm... your situation is a tough one and I don't have the answer how to talk to your son. You know him best so I'm sure you'll find the right way to talk with him if you give yourself some time to think about it. In the mean time the most important thing is to protect your son from the dangers of internet. I did a bit searching and I found a free software that gives you the control over his internet use. You can even set the times that internet can be used, so he won't be able to get online while you're not at home. Here's the link to the site that you can download it from: . But remember this software is just a bandaid, you have to talk to your son eventually. Good luck!