Dieing InsideI try really hard to push the thoughts out of my mind but it just doesn't work sometimes. I know it's silly to be so protective over things that don't matter. So what if he has friends that are girls. That shouldn't matter. I guess it's the things he says that make me so uncomfortable. He doesn't have enough time to ask how his son is but he has plenty of time to comment on one of his stupid friend's pictures of her in a bra. That just makes no sense to me. How does that seem alright? Is there maybe just something I'm missing? What about the other girl, the one that said "I don't care about your wife, your my soldier" - what about her? What am I suppose to say to that?
I can't even think straight anymore. I just cry on the inside to hide it so no one knows how much this is all killing me. I feel like bleeding again just to know I'm not dreaming, but I don't need to pick that bad habit back up. So I sit on the computer, just to have something to stare at. Something to distract me from the fact that he just doesn't care. Have I thought about leaving? Of course I have. I just don't even know where I would start or where I would go. I feel like my lungs are going to burst as I try to hold back my screams. What am I suppose to do? What am I suppose to think?