A Smile And A Handshake

Thats all you ever know when you meet me or know me in person, behind a screen ill tell you anything you want to hear if you are willing to listen and understand from all points of views, meet me in person ill always smile, ill always laugh you will NEVER know something is wrong, even in trouble or whatever i always manage to have a smile ( and ends up me in more trouble ) but always behind a warming smile and a comforting aura ill always warm your heart and make you feel safe when your around me but when i get alone is when the true colors will shine, its never easy for me to talk about my emotions no matter how close, whether parents or close of close friends, i mean my best friend i cant even open up half as much as i do online, its not that i dont trust him cause to me hes not even my friend he is my brother and i strongly believe in that, but i guess its the shielding of a glass screen that is soo easy to always sit behind and spill your heart out, but i guess the main reason why i will always pretend im okay is because im always helping people, when someones upset im always there, or i try to be, i cant promise i will always be there but i can promise i wont give up til im 6 feet under and hell even then ill probably still try, my happiness comes from other people. im a naturally happy person but my true happiness and joy comes from the warm comfort and loving feeling you get when you know you touched someone, when you helped someone, hell just that you made that person smile today, they came to you in tears and when you both parted your ways they were in tears, i guess to me most people say it comes natural but its always soo easy to me, but yet when i look in that mirror its not so easy anymore, each day is a struggle but a struggle with a purpose for a better tommorw, no matter what whether im lying or not i am fine, and if i truly am not i will be, its what i always say, ya know tell ya self something long enough its bound to come true, whether its good or bad
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Jul 18, 2010