Having A Difficult Time

            I've been married for 5months now. I met my husband when i was in Riyadh, KSA. For a very short time we manage to get married there because we all knew they were very strict when it comes to opposite sex they don't allowed to see in public a couple that is not married or having legal documents pertaining to their marital status so we planned to get married for us to see each other and continue our lives together. Our parents supported us, even though my parents didn't even know and see my husband in person because they where here in the Philippines and we were in Riyadh but they supported us. They sent all the documents we need for our marriage after that i became pregnant i thought it will be easy for both of us unfortunately doesn't end up well. My company decided to terminate me because of my condition, i don't know what to do because i don't want to go home in the Philippines and leave my husband alone in that country but i don't have a choice. Its a big failure for me because in my life i was a competitive one, i wanted to win every battle in life i always get the things i wanted and i have many dreams i wanted to fulfill that time i want to be successful in my field as a nurse. But it ended up nothing because i was pregnant. I cried too much but i didn't show to my husband when i told him about what happened i just cry a little bit and i said its okay i'm fine don't worry about me. I will just need to go home in our country. My husband thought am okay but behind those statement I'm not okay. But what can I do? My baby is more important than my dreams. 
         I told to my parents what happened and I will be home soon. They wanted that my husband will go with me too but it can't be because his contract is not yet finish he will not allowed to go home or have vacation if he doesn't finish his contract, they told me okay after the contract tell to your husband to go here but unfortunately he can't because we have lots of debts because we borrowed money after our wedding to have our rented house because of that we need to pay all those borrowed money so he cannot leave the responsibility to pay those debts. In our calculations he can pay all that until September this year so we plan that he will go home on end of October this year also. I told it to my parents they agree about that so all of them are expecting that in October they will meet my husband. But last night my husband told me when we are chatting maybe he cannot go home for vacation because his company not allow him to have vacation this year, his company told him if you like to have vacation look for your replacement but how can he look for replacement? the new employee will come for other country and they don't know when is the time that the new employee will arrived. The other choices are he can go home next year but not this year or he will file his exit in their company. But what will happen to us if he will exit because on October also i will delivery my baby we will have new member of the family. Where can we get money if the two of us don't have work,how can we manage to buy everything for our baby. On the other hand we are pressured because my family wanted him to go home on October if he cannot able to go home it will be a big problem to us. Its a very difficult to us. But I told him if you can't go home its okay i will be the one to explain to my family. 
         You know what I also don't know how to explain it to my family that they will listen and understand it. At first I received many disapproval from my relatives and they judge me on what decision i made when i choose to marry my husband. They say too much against me and my husband what more if they will know that for the third time he cannot be here and met all my parents and relatives. Again I pretended to my husband that I'm okay and everything gonna be just fine but the truth is its not fine and it will not be going to be fine until he will be here and meet up with my family. I don't know what is gonna happen next..:(
fears fears
18-21, F
1 Response Aug 14, 2010

Your relatives may disprove of your decision of marriage to your husband now. With careful planning between you and your husband and with determination, things will result well. In this way, you might gain the respect of your family. There have been many married couples around the world who are facing similar situations of separation and financial problems. When times are difficult, sacrifice is needed to makes things best for the people we love, such as a new baby and husband.<br />
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Best wishes for your new family and finical situation.