Just Breathe

Its quiet funny actually. How I fake a smile when I'm screaming inside. I've been told 'Your always smiling!''Your always so happy and energetic' I'm not. I'm bleeding inside. I pretend to be this happy cheerful girl, I make hilarious jokes and make other people laugh then cry myself to sleep. I make up a funny story about each of my cuts and bruises and everyone laughs, If only they knew it was self-harmed cuts. Noone wants to hang out with a moopy depressed person, I don't want to be like that, I want to have fun and cheer and go wild. I'm alive right? I'm okay. I don't know whether that makes me strong to move on or weak because I won't admit. One step at a time I guess. One breath at a time
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2 Responses May 11, 2012

No ones alone we each have our own set of disfigured tools and each seem to be disconnected but by reaching out you touch more of those who havent fallen with your message from space.<br />
we are the angels of heaven that landed in hell (aka saitin and earth) and we just need to find our inner sadists to manufacture glee, this is not life that i dreamt of but i discovered and blood seems about the only real thing i have left with me to bad no one likes to see i can feel. They just think i need their pity well damn pity and damn this diconnectivity i can dissociate to another free place beit no better than the last it passes the days.<br />
I hope you can find you stardust oneday for someone surely has to find the end of rainbow.

You basically described how I feel like now. Like actors in a play (but someones starting to uncover my mask). Hiding from what we really our. Depressed. (Well I'm assuming your depressed as you cut) We're in this together girl.